To be or not to be

It is easy to find you 

You are either rummaging through pages of inked words

Sometimes lost in the bright lights

Tipsy yet never belonging to any of these 

You are here, you are quite here

But then in the dark recesses of your mind, you are not

I could know where you would want to be

I have been there all my life

A little longer than I would have wanted to

Growing colder than I wanted to

I started out as fire, like the one in you that you try to tame

Trying to fit in, yet not trying, wanting, and not willing

Will you? you won’t this time is not yours

I could tell you that I would want to hear your stories

Wrap my own skin around to stop you from growing cold

But you and I know

The warmth seems to ebb at the approach of love

In our fright, for in our fights

Our flights, we have won, but lost

When your fingers are painted a touch of green

I would call them pastel green; you know it is 

But you would want to disagree

You know I love it

You love that opposing force

-Of truths, 

it is how you and I have faced the world

we hate the absence of that conflict; we know we can win

so, we turn sides to be wrong, wishing deeply

for a higher meaning, hoping

failing

knowing

your heart is as frail as mine, yet you and I are at the frontlines

  of a war that seems irrelevant to our life

succumbing to the numbness of love and longing

not to each other, 

we couldn’t

could you, I wish you wouldn’t 

for unlike me, 

you may have your moments of wanting to smile

I have smiled further than I could anymore,

Or so I thought 

but you still make me do so

- Poignantly too 

So, Miss November, I don’t miss November

You and I are in striking distance of the cold

Let not the cold overtake you as it has me

Be more, be bright, be the storm, be all but me.