Starry Night

Sirius Sirus how shall we meet

For you come on every night fade and repeat

I stand on this dust, blinking at your lights

How I long to be in your gentle heat

Watching you through these glasses and tubes

I long to be amongst the August company you keep

Tell me, tell me, oh! Beautiful Sirius' 

I know it is foolish to wish for a mortal like me

When Canis' smiles, I still long for your glimpse

For the brightest you are, both A and B

Major or Minor, Canis' don't make me feel

Of wanting to explode like a nova inside me

I shall head home now, for I have to sleep

Unlike you and unlike Arcutus or U Y Scuti

For now I shall greet Sol and be

Hope to wander amongst you two as three

Your own hand holds you steady

Willpower is overrated,it is often a biased measure when under the influence of emotions

One mustn't resort to assumptions, for the risk of misappropriation looms heavy

For the heart lies , time and again to ease one's anxious overtures

It only serves to deprecate sound logic and reasonings 

One could build walls, hide behind from the forces that seek to torment

But how could it be known if the trouble could fly over these high walls

I could imagine one to construct a dome, and pretend to be safe

Yet then one remains a prisoner of their own torrid fears

One may run, believe that their troubles could be slower or be subject to fatigue

Yet how can one forget that the faster you run, the energetic your worries become

I have known far too long to not fall prey to such false escapism

I have known my pain to follow me around like a cheerful dog, alluring me

So if one must live, then maybe try to live in the current moment and breathe easy

For life brings no respite, there is no ease nor a restful moment

When the pain hits, defocus and recount how much hurt has passed

Hold on to your own hand, remember you are the one to outlive it all

Have you sharpened that knife yet love?

Push it in gently my love, before you can twist let the blade be felt in its entirety

Why waste such a beautiful blade of your pretentious posturing, I have loved it too

You know it is beautiful to watch your eyes feel content with each inch the blade slides in

Let me help you turn it to catch the flesh on its serrated sides before you pull it out

I would help you do it, you know I am quite helpful when it comes to hurting me

So fret not, I feel the rush of oceans in absolute madness behind your gentle eyes

They speak to me of wonderous joys you feel stabbing my heart, time and again

Come closer, for the distance between us is longer and the knife is short 

Remember to close your eyes as it reaches deep, for my blood may hurt your eyes

I love them in black and white, they are like the gentle mornings of a scorching summer

And I have to admit, your hands feel as soft as the day I held them when I broke your fall

Could you caress my cheek with one, I can lend my hand on the knife to help stab

Once the knife is embedded and twisted pull it out gently, help me feel your love

Let my heart bleed as I wipe your hands and your finger prints with my kerchief 

It would be so unromantic to waste another moment, let me help you smile longer

Then we can sit distant, while you watch my pain as it makes us laugh

What must be done, may not be warranted

 In the superfluous surge of paranoia, when you string words to poetry, is nothing sacred anymore?
Does your hand not tremble? does your mind not dissuade? Why must your heart be on a sleeve?
It isn’t unlike a heart to not crumble and crash, how quickly does one become so callous and forget?
When the pain hits home, then why do they write about who caused the hurt and not about the pain?

To write on the ones that have caused such grievous hurt is crude, worse a disservice to love itself
For they don’t care, if they did you wouldn’t have the untamed need to write about them not caring
So, when the whiskey hits you like a ton of bricks, steady your hand, raise it to fill yourself one more
Do not write about them that have left you buried alive, or left you so far away from the shore

In the matters of poetry, do what you must to resolve your soul’s aching pain but know this for sure
Your words may weigh heavy, your tears may blur the pages it is written on, but it falls on deaf ears
So, when you choose to write of the void and absolute absence of those that you have lost 
Write about your heart and how it bleeds, but like me never ever write about the ones you love

humor me my friend, why the silence

Aha! The quintessential love quote, shared by some random stranger 

Often created or drafted by a fraudulent mind, repeated by falser mortals

What does one hope to impact, when the illusions of grandeur lay shattered 

And knowing it would be read but ignored, for such is how life works

Writing blood stained poetries, or gut wrenching stories that invoked no focus

I have often lamented to my self on what long bygones have mired me

Words upon words have brought no consolation, let alone peace

I have found only drudgery in my woeful poetic trepidation

Why are those that claim to know love silent today at my unmasked wail

Do they hide in their veils of thoughtful subservience, and convenient memory

I have been amongst the very that have spoken of love, and its power of calm

Why then does my mind and theirs never learn of love's dubious grandiose claims

Making Jackfruit Sambar, original type and all

One must watch the cooking pot of life, lest should it boil over and douse the flame

Caution may be warranted, yet is often the first part to be ignored

One may argue that it is the nature of love to cause such blindness

But that love is a shade far from the absolution of love 

If your pot boils milk, you know it needs two times the attention effort

For milk is the unruly emotion like anger and fear that often bubbles up suddenly

If your pot boils water, you know it shall do so consistently, and true

For water is the  unchanging emotion like being wanted by someone

My pot boils an Indian Jackfruit curry in all its Malayali grandeur 

Laced in matriarchal madness of utter freedom to sow and repent, but be held close

I should learn to ease up on my temptaion to add a few slices of silvery Ilish

For the curry in my pot needs stirring for fear of unforseen boiling overs

A misty morning meeting

Why does the solar flare knock out satellites, she asks cuddled closer

I walk her through the idea of how EMI fries components and what the solar flares are

She nods brushing against my curly chest hair, kisses my cheek

And I help her get her lovely hair from beneath her, and kiss her forehead

She switches to how satellites stay in orbit, and how do we get them there 

She isn't a scientist or a science buff but has an interest in it for sure

I wouldn't want to be in an intimate cuddle with a mind that isn't curious

I caress her waist gently as we melt into a wild passionate kiss 

We lay there on the bed, watching the mountain mist in the distance, she cuddles into my chest

I gnaw gently on her head, and then bite her ear lobe then her cheek

I tell her that I feel like biting into her, and how she tempts me every time she meets

She catches me midway and nibbles on my lower lip, whispers she loves me, holding me

Coffee and Conversation

I don't want to smell of patchouli and lavender from whore houses in sleepy towns

It's not that I hate the prostitutes, I am one after all

They like me sell their body, yet they don't sell their minds, I sell that too

How can I hate them, they are better off than me, I could be jealous though

When they turn in and tuck themselves, they do not fret over what they could have done better

I worry about my extents, stay awake in furious contradictory overtures of what could, what should

They are better off, sleeping post a weeping of how life handed them a bitter hand

My hands can't even play the cards I am dealt, I am jealous of them, so very

Under this dim street light, away from the legal enforcement I chanced upon a conversation

Neither of us were where we wanted, neither where we were warranted to be

I invited one over to my home, made her a coffee, kept my distance and sang her a song 

She left in the morning, post a night of vocal intimacy, as we both were back to the grind

Life

Living

And then the never ending cycle of worries 

Until we die, slowly but surely, I see the sun is high, it's noon, I better get back to work

Philosophy doesn't feed my stomach, it hasn't fed anyone truly

Astronomy can make you sleep easily

Mornings arrive, and in it's lull are fragrant memories of another dull day 

I could get up, make scrambled eggs and maybe some dosas I ponder lying, lying to myself

I and I both know I forgot to order eggs and the rice and urad were not soaked last night forget having fermented batter

Nope, not because I rely on you for food but because I rely on you to make me want to eat

I am still half awake, dulled in the morning light that would have warmed my heart once

But who am I lying to, it's monsoon. Rainy clouds seldom let the sun shine through

The clouds settling on the mountain nearby seem pretty like you enveloping me

Why aren't you? Oh! Because we broke up, and I broke something in me

At this, therapy curing me seems like a distant pipe dream, poets are rigid I know

Then again, I was always a 'know it all', your faith in me to deliver at my worst was a  testament

Somewhere you and I forgot we both are human, and I never reminded you I can feel too

I could complain, but who would have heard a wailing child, love makes me a child for sure

My labrador knows I am upset, but it doesn't realise I am allergic to dog hair

She cuddles up, nuzzles into my arm pit pushing my hand to pet her

I have to choose between breathlessness and wanting to breathe at this point, ah! i let out a  paradoxical sigh 

The morning is fading, I pull the dog treats and feed my labrador some dog food on the night stand

She hates to eat when I do that, she knows I am not feeling too good

She could have made tea, I swear, she would have probably got my tea to the bed too

I imagine this distorted reality to be my general state, for my phone has no messages from you

I could call, but then what do I say? this depression doesn't help my cause

I laugh, at the mirror with one eye open now while my dog decided to eat anyway licking my face in between

Would you have complained that my face smells like dog biscuits every morning?

I get up to fill one doggy bowl with water and add dog food to the other

I sip a quick lassi, disappointment lassi from a random brand, that will keep acidity away

As i lie back in the bed, I lie to myself that you will call me or even come over and wake me

My dog cuddles up to me again, it looks concerned, I remember I don't have a dog.

I realise I am hallucinating, these are remnants from a past, I keep living in, loving in

I close my eyes again, it gets dark a few shades lighter than my mind though

I call it better than the void of the cold vacuum of space, imagine myself floating to Arcutus

I drift into sleep, floating freely in the endless space and state of my existence 

Kuch bhi to theek nahi tha

Pyar aur kya hai, 

shabdon ka hi to maaya jaal hai

Premi kehte hai ab saath guzarna kai saal hai

Par Phere saat hokar bhi saath guzaarna behaal hai

Kehne ko to kai baatein hai,

 lekin mere lafzon mein kuch jhol jhaal hai

Mai nai maanta pyar ko, 

ye to sirf kayaanat ki ek chaal hai

Mile the jab,

 na tum bikhre pade the, na hum

To kisi ke aane jaane par kyon apna ye haal hai

Anban hamaare beech raha kyon saalon saal hai

Tumko jab udaa le gaya koi, 

maine to kaha tha uske shabdon ka ye jaal hai

Mai nai maanta pyar ko, 

ye to sirf kayaanat ki ek chaal hai

Maanta hoon mai zara kachha hoon pyar ke raaston par

Par tumse to kaha tha maine banjao mere humsafar

Shaayad tum aur hum baney hi  nahi the saath ke liye

Mai nai maanta pyar ko, 

ye to sirf kayaanat ki ek chaal hai

Pyar aur kya hai, 

shabdon ka hi to maaya jaal hai

Dinner time

The noodles are soggy, mostly due to someone not having cooled it

Cooks know these basics. Noodles need to be cooled after boiling

Al dente, ya some fancy italian term for Japanese noodles? Really I ask

Oh you have a lot to say, but I haven't had you ever cook for me, she says

I wink at her, and proceed to dump the noodles onto a plate and proceed to mash them

How aghast can a lover be, when someone does that to her food

I know how aghast, I saw it personally

When I mash the noodles and make them into dough I can hear her sarcasm

Through her breath, sounds like ' as if that will even work'

The dough now is rolled into thin sheets and I proceed to stuff it with the chicken she had cooked

Shreds and herbs, a touch of water chestnut slices get tossed in too

She now looks at me again, suddenly her sarcasm has turned into love

The way to a woman's heart is through food too, saving a bad meal works wonders no? i retort

We steam the dumplings from her noodles that were overdone

She leans on me, holds my waist and I ask her to step aside from the steam

I present to her stating "dumplings, love style"

We eat them as she keeps looking at me in love as I ask, what next? 

Italian? Pizza? Maybe

Moving Homes

Out beside my old rental

A canal runs, furious at times in the rain

It dries up partially, in summers

And flows gently at winters

I have watched pond herons

Fishing in the slightly wide canal

And passers by would stand and stare

Pause a moment on the bridge to rest a while

It rises from the foothills of a nature reserve

Where once tigers and leopards thrived

The deer ran free, the monkey made ruckus

And those beautiful moths felt right at home

Oh! Thane you have changed so much

In these sixteen years that I have watched you

You have become the very madness I ran from

But like always I keep coming back to you

Hookup ka zamaana hai bhai

Pyaar ka to achaar hi daal lo

Kuch ek pal hum bhi soche

Milke bitaa lenge kisike sangh

Kabhi kabhi lekin mai 

Botal khol achaar ka

Chatkaara le letaa hoon chupaakar

Phir band kar botal mil aata hoon kisi ko

Milta hoon jab kisiko jo

 soch mein pad jaata hoon mai

Ye jhoote pyaar ko jo samet raha hoon

Iska bhi kya achaar daalna hai mujhe

Hum sachhe jhoote ko na ched kar

Baithe apne kaam par dhyan lagaye

Shaayad mere akelapan ko hi kabhi

Mujh hi se pyaar zaraa ho jaaye

Come hither

Absolute erotica, in sloppy kisses

Where loving and belonging is kept at bay

Where else can one be found at peace 

For the tug of love just distorts a day

Be rather kissed sloppy, held tight

As tongues mate and exchange tastes

When the breath brushes a bristly beard

Let there be moans of orgasmic haste

As the touch of fingers spin lustful wispers

Let the fingernails claw, the teeth dig in

When the evening sun peeps into the room

Draw the shades to this wonderous thing

the reluctant Cartographer

Ek binti hai

Saikdo kavitaayein likhne ke baad,

 aaj maine tumhara naam likha

Har kavita ke neeche

Meri ungliya chalne se ruk gayi, 

jaise meri rooh ruk jaati thi kabhi tumko dekh kar

Kavitaon ke neeche tumhara naam aana to laazmi tha

Par likha nahi kabhi

  kyonki tum yaad aate ho to bikhar sa jaata hoon

Koshish thi aaj likh doon, 

shaayad likhne se mere dil ka bojh halka ho jayega

Par likh diya to tumhara naam dikh gaya, 

 aur nazar dhundli se ho gahi

Tum jaanti ho na mai to hoshiyar hoon

Tabhi to pencil se likh raha tha, 

  syaahi hoti to beh jaati

Meri kavita mere aasuon se mit jaati

Tum jaakar bhi rulaa gaye the, 

yaad aakar bhi rulaate ho

Ab to meri kavitaon mein bhi vyakararn ki kami dikhne lagi hai

Shaayad tum mujhe hi mujhse cheen kar le gaye ho

Maine kaha na mai hoshiyar hoon, 

pencil se likh raha hoon saari ki saari kavitaayein 

Tum aakar in kavitaon ko mitaa dena, 

 gar kabhi aao jo

Sirf tumhara naam rehne dena har kavita ke neeche

Maine tumhaare naam se hi likhi hai saari ki saari

Do kash lagaa leta hoon, par baadmein

Zara neeche utra tha, cigarette pine

Raju ki tapri band thi, socha ruk jaata hoon

Tumhaare aur mere darmiyan jo doori hai

Kohre se bhari hai, cigarette ke due jaisi

Socha ek mai bhi jalaa loon, 

seene mein bhar loon thoda dhua

Barsaat phir shuru hui, tera phone aaya

Raju ko phone karne chala tha, 

socha thoda ruk jaata hoon

Tumse to kamm baatein hoti hai

Cigarette kaunsi badi baat hai, 

pi lenge phir kabhi

Barsaat jo badh gayi ab, tumne bhi rakh diya phone

Ganeemat hai, Raju aa gaya

Ap piyoonga ek ya do kash, soch kar tumko

Is barsaat ke kohre mein 

kise dikhega ke mai tapri par hoon

Mera purana ghar

Baarish ke pokhar mein cham se koodkar

Has raha tha mai, umar thi bayalis

Paanch samajh raha tha mai

Tum haslo ye sochkar ki mai pagla gaya hoon

Khushi to pagal hi karti hai hum sabko

Mai khush hoon itne dino baad

kyonki mere ghar ka darwaza ban gaya

Jo khaa gaye the deemak, mere dhyan na dene se

Deemakone yaad dilaya mera bhi kuch hai

Kabootaron ne mere rasoi ke chauke  par dera jamaya tha

Mujhe mere nazarandaaz hone ki kami yaad aayi

Wo jab hatwaaya maine, mujhe ehsaas hua

Mujhe bhi meri cheezon se pyaar hai

Baarish ke pokhar mein jo aaj kood has raha hoon

Wo haazri bayalis hi sahi, par hain to paanch saal ka hi mai

Tum haslo ye sochkar ki mai pagla gaya hoon

Par Mujhe aaj hi mere zinda hoone ka ehsaas hua hai

shyam ko mile kya?

Mai ruka hoon

Hamari shyam ki mulakaat ke liye

Tum aa rahe ho barson baad

Aur ye baadal bhi baras rahe hai

Mai waise to zyaada nahi sochta hoon

Chal deta hoon jahan hoon, jaose hoon

Par tum mil rahe ho, to zara ban thanke nikalna zaroori sa laga

Tumse dur rehkar mai kurdara sa ho gaya tha

Meri kameez mein silvate thi

Socha instri kar loon, phir pehen loonga 

Meri kameez ki silvatein mere aasu se bhigo kar

Istri kar liya maine, tumse milne ki khushi mei

Tum poochoge ye safed cheete kya hai

Jo meri kameez par dikh rahe hai

Mai kahoonga aaloo cheel raha tha

Chalak gaya thoda sa paani kameez par

Rasoi mei to raha hoon, tumse dur hokar

Jalta, jalaata raha hoon, kabhi bhindi kabhi gosth

Kabhi ungli jali, kabhi tel ke cheete ude

Par tumse dur rehkar jo jala hoon

Uska marham to tumhari ek mulakaat hai

Mai ruka hoon, Hamari shyam ki mulakaat ke liye

Tum aa rahe ho na barson baad, sambhalkar aana,

Ye mausam bhi khusi ke aansu barsa raha hai

Drift

The heart is marred with claustrophobia

In a cacophony of a guilt called love

For I do not understand nor seem to

And everything around just breaks apart

My journeys have always led me to reefs

The water looks clear, inviting, and alluring

But I know I better stay in the deep

For the shallows are not for me to greet

Maybe another day, when I set sail

I shall find the stars guiding my way

This time to the shore, safely so 

For I'm tired of swimming from shipwrecks 

the eyes that calm my storms

My dog, Jessica she fell ill once

I am so used to hearing her sounds

Lapping at her bowl of milk or water

She stood there, staring, hungry nauseated

My heart broke, 

in the absent lapping music

As she looked at me with her helpless eyes

I held her in an embrace, it was post vet

This was a waiting, of her nausea to fade

She licked my face, once 

She doesn't usually do that, she is different 

She has her reservations, 

she hasn't licked anyone at all 

I lay with her beside the water bowl

My head heaving on her stomach

Hearing her breath her sigh

Of pangs of hunger and her discomfort

It wrenched my heart, as I waited for comfort

Between the forced feeding of milk

Through the syringe and my hands

For the medicine to take effect, I comforted her

She knew what it was, but I needed comfort

She couldn't and it made her feel sadder

When she stood up a few hours later

She kissed me with her nose, drawing my focus

She stood at her water bowl, as if ready to conduct

An orchestra of the most beautiful music ever known to me

She lapped at the bowl, stirring my tears

Of sheer joy, 

As she watched me exhale in relief

She sat on my lap, barking for biscuits

My Jessica, my girl, my wondrous love

Would you like some coffee?

I hate the rains, but only if I stand in it

The crosswinds make it beautiful

Coffee, the steam, rising off it, 

  in my dimly lit room

Like a barely bright dawn

And your hands wrapped in mine

That is a rain I rather love

For these droplets are a stark reminder

Of the coldness

Just like your absence here

From me

Not of separation, 

we couldn't be separate ever

Not even a heartbreak could let me feel so

For you could leave

I would leave with you

But this coffee, the smell of it

Warms my heart

I hate coffee, I drink tea usually

But the tea doesn't smell as good

I love watching the rains

Like I love watching you

As you are distant, 

by all measures of physical constraints

Yet I can feel you,

Jogging along, approaching my window

Drenched partially, smiling back at me

And I would yell out of the window like now

Holding my coffee cup

Ask you if you would love me

Melting in the coldness

Hoping to be warmed in your embrace

Naa kheech meri baanh priye

Rootha baitha hoon mai tumse priye

Jhoot bolkar jo pyar ka dhong kiya maine

Wahi sochkar chot kha baitha hoon priye

Pyar to nahi hai mere andar

Ye tark nahi ho sakta,

 mai jee chuka hoon ye sach

Jan kar toota hoon ye sab

Main to daas hoon, 

sabke mann ke karmo ka

Jaan kar bhi ye khaami

Har awaaz ko dauda chala hoon

Tum kyon aaye,

 pyaar se rijhaane

Kured ne mere seene mei

Hum bhi to nahi rok paaye

 Naa kheech meri baanh priye

Rootha baitha hoon mai tumse priye

Jhoot bolkar jo pyar ka dhong kiya maine

Wahi sochkar chot kha baitha hoon priye

Agar mai shaant hoon aaj to kyon hoon

Tere nayan, banake mere hriday ko darpan

Maar gaye patthar, prem ke virah ke

Jab ro baithi mai, tu to na pooch gaya

Kabhi ek baar, ke mai toot kar bikhri kitno tukdiyan

Tukdo mein bhi tera mukh, 

tukdon mein thi mai

Gin gin uthaaye har ashru ko ek

Tu to ginti bhi na karne aaya,

 binti bhi reh gayi ansuni

Kya mera mann bhi toota, 

chithde chithde ude 

jaise bhuni moongfaliyon ke chilke

Muje kaaran jo de gaya tu, 

karke mere kamiyon ke kamandal mein daraar

Riss gaya mera sab, 

jo tum ghol gaye the prem ki nami mei

Ab to aap hi riss chuka hai, 

tithar bithar, bikhar, idhar udhar

Ek baar jo bulaaye jaane ki aas mein bhoole jo baithi

Ab tu aaya, 

maangne mere prem ki pehchaan, praman, poochkar meri pravrutti

Nahi hoon apne mein, 

tum bankar, apne ko daah aaya jo hoon

Na tumko thi meri aasha, 

toh mujhe kya karna tha rakh apne ko

Mai to tumko soch; tum bankar, 

phir khud se chala gaya tha

pehchaan

Tumhara naam bhi to likha hua hai

Mere dil ke gunahgaaron mein

Shayad tumne dekha nahi, 

ya andekha kar gaye

Lekin tumko shayad ye ehsaas nahi hone diya maine

Karu bhi kyon, pyar ka masla tha

Takrar ka nahi, to kar baitha mai 

Wahi jise pagalpan kehte hai, intezaar ka

Jab mere sabar ka baand toota 

Beh gaya mai khud apne aap se

Tum raho, mai to beet chuka hoon

Tootkar, bikharkar, haarkar

When could I have complained

It should not hurt to say 'I love you'

But it hurts in so many ways

I would rather choose to skip a breath

Than have my heart skip a beat

For I loved to the end to my self

And that self has died, curled up

In my study, under my table

In the black of the nights,

I lay cold, broken and in company

Of a void that drank my life blood

I hated to breathe, i hated to wake

Yet I woke, and in regrets of breath

In my untold stories of you

I held my torrid swell of guilt

And when in those moments

my heart dried up in torment 

I moistened it with tears of wait

For I had accepted your hate

It shouldn't hurt, to say 'I love you' 

When the October sun shimmered

I made sun dried tomatoes

When the march brought me mangos

I fed and hugged my labradors

And they did hug me back, actually

But it does, it so hurts to say 'I love you'

For the me we knew died

I buried him in my potted plants

It was easier too, he was in pieces

Like he was left behind, by us

We left so much broken behind

Obfuscation of an open wound

What is a confession of love

  if it brings tears

After the soul crushed

And there is only fear

 The fear of a rinse and repeat

What is love if

The doubt of hurt looms

Persistent, pertinent, 

amidst pathos

The fear of one's self

Why does it hurt to love

 When it is to heal 

 To Obfuscate pain

 In its wake

The fear dooms strength

When did love become

 A crutch of despair 

 To warrant agency

 In such retardation 

The heart fears to belong

Jitters

To be honest, 

  nothing ever works out

Yet,

  We struggle, 

  we scream, 

  we shout

At the end

 there is only tantalising bitterness

We fall prey to our own desires

 As we drift

   into the black of infinite pain 

   Disdain

There are moments

 Some joyful, some perverse 

 And beautiful see

 the roads we traversed

They fade out of sight

 Yet not out of mind

  To torment, to traumatise

  I woke to such

  I wake to such 

Everyday

 Ever so often

anantkaal

Payo

 na mai ram

Payo

 na mai shyam

Ban mein na radha

Bana mein Na sita

Prem hi na samjhun

 Rang na chadhe 

  mere mann

Tu ban Chahe mohini

Mai tyag diya madan

Ras na seechoon 

Prem raseela jo hai

Shilp bana hua mera hriday

Pighle na abh man

Nigal chuka mai saanjh

Bhasm ho chuki hai raatri

Sapan na aaye bin nidra

Surya na uge mere lok

Mai ban gaya Trishanku

Na prem barse mujhpar

Na mai jeet paaya prem

Payo

 na mai ram

Payo

 na Mai shyam

Ban mai na radha

Ban mein Na sita

Prem hi na samjhun

 Rang na chadhe 

  mere mann

Tu ban Chahe mohini

Mai tyag diya madan

I visit my grave sometimes

At the onset of summer of a time long gone

I remember my morning craving of your voice

As you parted your void was the very salt 

It helped the sun dry my heart to a husk

I spent so many days in the blinding hurt

I remember my mornings becoming a haunting

As your void filled my soul once burning bright

It helped the blood in me run cold as the night

When the rains arrived, I watched in silence

I remember the clouds feed my heart with dark

As your prolonged absence clawed me deep

It helped me wished for a deathly sleep

When winter arrived, and the mist formed

I remember the nights taunt my failure at love

As your heart drifted miles away from me

It helped me die each night with ease

Jalapeños

I love it when I find your phone connect to my WiFi hotspot

When you switch and try to connect to the office network

But it connects to my hotspot, as I sit at the reception working

It feels like you are coming home to me, and I smile

These are simple pleasures, that most won’t understand

I haven’t ever sought approvals, not even yours at my love confession

It felt owed, my heart was owned by you, before I confessed

I have let it be consumed in your love, and it is worth it too

And as you sit here, twiddling your thumbs as you type messages

Know I am typing these verses, falling in love, over and again with you

While there is a million words playing in my ears, trying to interrupt

I feel home, as you sit and steal glances, between work , blowing kisses at me