Astronomy can make you sleep easily

Mornings arrive, and in it's lull are fragrant memories of another dull day 

I could get up, make scrambled eggs and maybe some dosas I ponder lying, lying to myself

I and I both know I forgot to order eggs and the rice and urad were not soaked last night forget having fermented batter

Nope, not because I rely on you for food but because I rely on you to make me want to eat

I am still half awake, dulled in the morning light that would have warmed my heart once

But who am I lying to, it's monsoon. Rainy clouds seldom let the sun shine through

The clouds settling on the mountain nearby seem pretty like you enveloping me

Why aren't you? Oh! Because we broke up, and I broke something in me

At this, therapy curing me seems like a distant pipe dream, poets are rigid I know

Then again, I was always a 'know it all', your faith in me to deliver at my worst was a  testament

Somewhere you and I forgot we both are human, and I never reminded you I can feel too

I could complain, but who would have heard a wailing child, love makes me a child for sure

My labrador knows I am upset, but it doesn't realise I am allergic to dog hair

She cuddles up, nuzzles into my arm pit pushing my hand to pet her

I have to choose between breathlessness and wanting to breathe at this point, ah! i let out a  paradoxical sigh 

The morning is fading, I pull the dog treats and feed my labrador some dog food on the night stand

She hates to eat when I do that, she knows I am not feeling too good

She could have made tea, I swear, she would have probably got my tea to the bed too

I imagine this distorted reality to be my general state, for my phone has no messages from you

I could call, but then what do I say? this depression doesn't help my cause

I laugh, at the mirror with one eye open now while my dog decided to eat anyway licking my face in between

Would you have complained that my face smells like dog biscuits every morning?

I get up to fill one doggy bowl with water and add dog food to the other

I sip a quick lassi, disappointment lassi from a random brand, that will keep acidity away

As i lie back in the bed, I lie to myself that you will call me or even come over and wake me

My dog cuddles up to me again, it looks concerned, I remember I don't have a dog.

I realise I am hallucinating, these are remnants from a past, I keep living in, loving in

I close my eyes again, it gets dark a few shades lighter than my mind though

I call it better than the void of the cold vacuum of space, imagine myself floating to Arcutus

I drift into sleep, floating freely in the endless space and state of my existence