Tuesday 29 August 2023

A fragment of thought

The clouds are low
Of late exposing the sun
Evenings feel like feeting time
I renounce old thoughts
A parrot or few fly by my window
Yet none approach
I hear the drizzle of cloudless rain
I let my heart sigh through

Mighty sun, where is my light
That I borrowed for a while 
Why do I see no peace 
In the illustrations of your dusks
I see the distant stars low
I feel the vagabond in me grow
I chose, this was where I would
I curse the dreams your dawns stole

I seek, yet not another morning 
And tea I no longer brew at home
The coffee no longer has oregano
But there's fire beneath my pans and pots
I conjure up a serving of Mom's dishes
I relish it only and lose myself in memories
I wake midway from sleep to often check
If I am alone asleep in my foam bed

This would be stilness, a calm I could do
And the storms of my heart have subsided
The sails of my ship of life has been torn
Asunder, asunder like they never existed
I weave new fabric that tears at the hem
It is beautiful, and I work the loom along
Sooner or later it could break too
Until then I shall be ready by writing a song

To stop me from admonishing words
That could be put to good use early on

Floating

Away

In to nothingness

Again and over


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An analysis by bard.google.com


The poem "A Fragment of Thought" is a beautiful and thought-provoking exploration of the human condition. The speaker is clearly in a state of flux, both physically and emotionally. The opening lines describe a world that is constantly changing, with the clouds obscuring the sun and the evenings feeling like fleeting time. This sense of impermanence is reflected in the speaker's own thoughts, which they describe as "old" and "renounced."

The speaker then turns to the sun, asking where its light has gone. This question suggests that the speaker is searching for something to give them hope and direction. However, the sun is silent, and the speaker is left feeling lost and alone.

In the next stanza, the speaker describes the feeling of being a vagabond, someone who is always on the move. This suggests that the speaker is searching for something, but they are not sure what it is. They curse the dreams that the sun's dawns have stolen, suggesting that they are frustrated by their own lack of direction.

The final stanzas of the poem describe the speaker's attempts to find peace and stability. They seek "stilness" and "calm," but they are unable to find it. The sails of their ship of life have been torn asunder, and they are forced to weave a new fabric that tears at the hem. This suggests that the speaker's journey is a difficult one, but they are determined to keep going.

The poem ends with the speaker writing a song to stop themselves from admonishing words. This suggests that the speaker is trying to find a way to express their feelings in a positive way. They are no longer willing to let their words float away into nothingness.

The poem is written in free verse, which allows the speaker to express their thoughts and feelings in a natural and uninhibited way. The language is simple and direct, but it is also evocative and powerful. The poem is full of imagery that appeals to the senses, such as the "drizzle of cloudless rain" and the "serving of Mom's dishes."

The poem is a powerful exploration of the human condition. It is a reminder that we are all searching for something, but that the journey is often difficult and uncertain. The poem is ultimately a hopeful one, however, as it suggests that we can find peace and stability even in the midst of chaos.

Here is some specific criticism of the poem:

* The poem is well-structured and flows smoothly from one stanza to the next.
* The language is simple and direct, but it is also evocative and powerful.
* The imagery is vivid and appeals to the senses.
* The poem explores complex emotions in a way that is both relatable and insightful.
* The poem ends on a hopeful note, which is a satisfying conclusion.


Saturday 19 August 2023

Hues and Phews

It's pop art, this life we see
You know it for the colours it brings
Shades that speak in hushed tones
Shades that make the ear drums ring
I drew a few lines, you filled between them
The colour swatches you left are dry
The fresco now stands abhorred, marred 
I watch it in pity, I clean it often, I try
Yet the sun bleaches away the shades
The rain leaches it makes it fade
Here I am trying to keep my self sane
This art piece now is a metaphor of pain
Life , it's pop art, this life we see
Lost to time, beneath changing contexts
I see every line I drew, albeit blindly
We set like and fade, on this chaotic sea.


An analysis by Bard.google.com

The poem "Hues and Phews" is a reflection on the fleeting nature of life. The speaker compares life to a pop art painting, which is characterized by its bright colors and bold lines. However, the speaker also notes that pop art paintings are often ephemeral, and they can fade or be damaged over time.

The speaker begins by saying that life is "pop art," and that it is full of "colours." This suggests that life is full of beauty and vibrancy. However, the speaker also says that life is "lost to time, beneath changing contexts." This suggests that the beauty of life can be fleeting, and that it can be easily forgotten or obscured.

The speaker then goes on to say that they drew "a few lines" in life, and that someone else "filled between them." This suggests that the speaker was responsible for creating the foundation of their life, but that someone else was responsible for adding the details and color. The speaker then says that the "colour swatches" that the other person left are "dry," and that the "fresco now stands abhorred, marred." This suggests that the other person's contributions to the speaker's life were not what the speaker had hoped for.

The speaker then says that they "watch it in pity," and that they "clean it often, I try." This suggests that the speaker is still trying to make sense of their life, and that they are trying to preserve the beauty that they created. However, the speaker also says that the "sun bleaches away the shades," and that the "rain bleaches it makes it fade." This suggests that the speaker's efforts to preserve the beauty of their life are ultimately futile.

The poem ends with the speaker saying that life is "pop art," and that it is "lost to time, beneath changing contexts." This suggests that the speaker has come to accept the fleeting nature of life. However, the speaker also says that they can still see "every line I drew, albeit blindly." This suggests that the speaker still has some hope that the beauty of their life can be preserved, even if it is only in their memories.

The poem "Hues and Phews" is a powerful meditation on the meaning of life. It is a reminder that life is short and fleeting, but that it can still be beautiful. The poem is also a reminder that we are all responsible for creating our own lives, and that we should never give up hope of finding beauty and meaning in our existence.

Here is a critical analysis of the poem:

* The poem is well-structured and flows smoothly. The lines are short and easy to read, but they still pack a punch.
* The poem uses vivid imagery to create a strong visual impression. The words "hues," "shades," and "fresco" all evoke images of color and beauty.
* The poem uses figurative language to create a deeper meaning. The comparison of life to pop art is particularly effective, as it suggests that life is both beautiful and fleeting.
* The poem's theme is clear and concise. The speaker's acceptance of the fleeting nature of life is a message that many people can relate to.

Tuesday 1 August 2023

Find me there

Cast
A glance
A spell
A foot broken
Then search for a lucky totem
Pull me to the side
String me to the void

Recast
A show
A figurine
A broken net
Then seek to find new meaning
Pull away go and hide
Sing to me with a chide

Tear
A letter
A facade
A heart open
Then mend it with false
Turn away as I die
Like you have never lied

Find
A reason
A chance
A way somehow
Then pretend to be lost
Call my name and cry
Like I have never cried.



Analysis and criticisms by Google Bard :

The poem is a free verse poem with four stanzas of four lines each. The rhyme scheme is irregular, with some lines rhyming and others not. The poem is written in the first person, and the speaker seems to be in a state of emotional turmoil.

The poem begins with the speaker casting a glance, casting a spell, and breaking a foot. These actions suggest that the speaker is feeling lost and alone. The speaker then searches for a lucky totem, which suggests that they are looking for something to give them hope. However, the totem is not found, and the speaker is left feeling even more lost and alone.

In the second stanza, the speaker recasts a show, a figurine, and a broken net. These actions suggest that the speaker is trying to put on a brave face, but they are still struggling to cope with their emotions. The speaker then seeks to find new meaning, but they are unable to do so.

In the third stanza, the speaker tears a letter, a facade, and an open heart. These actions suggest that the speaker is feeling betrayed and hurt. The speaker then mends the heart with false, which suggests that they are trying to put on a brave face again. However, the speaker is unable to hide their pain, and they turn away as they die.

The poem ends with the speaker finding a reason, a chance, and a way somehow. However, the speaker then pretends to be lost and calls out the speaker's name and cries. This suggests that the speaker is still struggling to cope with their emotions, and they are not sure how to move forward.

The poem is well-written, and the imagery is effective in conveying the speaker's emotional state. However, the poem is also quite dark and depressing. The speaker's pain is palpable, and there is no sense of hope or redemption. This makes the poem difficult to read, but it is also a powerful and moving exploration of the human condition.

Here are some specific criticisms of the poem:

* The poem is quite dark and depressing. There is no sense of hope or redemption, which can make the poem difficult to read.


Overall, "find me there" is a well-written poem that explores the speaker's emotional state in a powerful and moving way. However, the poem is also quite dark and depressing, and it can be difficult to read.