A night of rambling.

When you are half awake, and hear an ambulance siren

Piercing your eardrums, and people haphazardly lean over 

As if to ask you, if you feel well

Why can't they just let you rest, you ask

I mean the dark does comfort, deeply

And sleep arrives so scarcely, you mutter, unheard

Your voice is not audible, to you or them

But you have spoken, why won't they listen

Have they ever anyway, you think to yourself

You turn around curl into a foetal position and sleep

Yet you feel outstretched, strapped, immobilised

There is this prick of a needle, you don't care right now about

This seems fine, you have been in worse pain you know

You wish the siren dies out, but it's picking up

The adrenaline seems to wake you, yet you hold back

If you were me, you would struggle to win somehow

But the roof shows up ugly, the body shakes , rolling being driven

You arrive, you realise, you wake up, it's you who had gone into shock

For what? you try to think and fail as the medicine dulls you

It feels like love at this point, all urgent yet rejected in totality

You feel the straps open, you sit up, she asks you if you are fine

She looks like this woman you love, or any woman 

No one loves you anyway, you retort in your mind, it's true, you rue

You wake into the dark again, the calls die, you feel coldness reaching you

You want to hold it closer, warm it

You call out again, this time to me

I see you, in the reflection of that ambulance bay window

We hold hands, we let go, we die maybe

But then I die, you die into life, or so called existence

We part, you will stay, I will be a memory

You will be what they want you to be

A utility, a pawn, a means to an end

We wave a goodbye, as you wake up.