A thought about Midnight deliveries

I sometimes wonder why

Why do these midnight deliveries come.wrapped different

Like in poly bags, sometimes in paper bags, and sometimes cloth bags

I guess it is the changing moods of the delivery guys

Or maybe I order from different vendors

I mean, see, I ask it because

I often wonder why does your memory come wrapped different

Sometimes in haze, sometimes in daze, sometimes in a faze, sometimes in a maze

I guess it is like the ever changing moods of your love

Or maybe I have too much of alcohol in my blood

Think logically,

Who equates memories to groceries being delivered at midnight, or at 4 AM

Some are asleep, some getting to the gym, some jogging early, some pointlessly awake

I guess it is , maybe my subscription of anxiety being renewed

 Or maybe I am shopping wilfully at the wrong portals for love

Explanation:

The poet is grappling with the pain of their loved one leaving them, and their struggle to overcome the resulting depression. The poem begins with a sense of confusion, as the poet wonders why these "midnight deliveries" of memories from their past love come wrapped in different ways, like poly bags, paper bags, or cloth bags. This may symbolize the varied emotions and experiences associated with the memories, ranging from foggy and unclear (haze) to bewildering (maze), or even overwhelming (faze). The changing moods of the "delivery guys" could represent the unpredictable nature of the memories, as they come to the poet at different times and in different forms.

The poet further reflects on the unpredictability and inconsistency of their loved one's love, comparing it to the changing moods of their memories. Sometimes it feels distant and detached (daze), sometimes it feels fleeting and transient (faze), and sometimes it feels complex and confusing (maze). The poet wonders if their own state of mind, perhaps influenced by alcohol, is affecting the way they perceive and experience these memories.

The poet then questions the logical connection between memories and groceries being delivered at odd hours of the night or early morning. Memories are not something that can be easily ordered or controlled, unlike groceries from online portals. The poet may feel a sense of helplessness or lack of control in dealing with their memories of their lost love. The mention of anxiety being renewed could indicate that the poet is struggling with anxiety in the aftermath of the breakup.

In the closing lines of the poem, the poet reflects on the possibility that they are looking for love in the wrong places or seeking it from the wrong sources, akin to shopping at the wrong portals for love. This could suggest a sense of disillusionment or frustration with their past relationship and the choices they have made. Overall, the poem conveys a sense of longing, confusion, and emotional turmoil as the poet grapples with the aftermath of their loved one leaving and the challenges of moving on from the pain of lost love.