Tuesday, 29 August 2023

A fragment of thought

The clouds are low
Of late exposing the sun
Evenings feel like feeting time
I renounce old thoughts
A parrot or few fly by my window
Yet none approach
I hear the drizzle of cloudless rain
I let my heart sigh through

Mighty sun, where is my light
That I borrowed for a while 
Why do I see no peace 
In the illustrations of your dusks
I see the distant stars low
I feel the vagabond in me grow
I chose, this was where I would
I curse the dreams your dawns stole

I seek, yet not another morning 
And tea I no longer brew at home
The coffee no longer has oregano
But there's fire beneath my pans and pots
I conjure up a serving of Mom's dishes
I relish it only and lose myself in memories
I wake midway from sleep to often check
If I am alone asleep in my foam bed

This would be stilness, a calm I could do
And the storms of my heart have subsided
The sails of my ship of life has been torn
Asunder, asunder like they never existed
I weave new fabric that tears at the hem
It is beautiful, and I work the loom along
Sooner or later it could break too
Until then I shall be ready by writing a song

To stop me from admonishing words
That could be put to good use early on

Floating

Away

In to nothingness

Again and over


-------------------------------------

An analysis by bard.google.com


The poem "A Fragment of Thought" is a beautiful and thought-provoking exploration of the human condition. The speaker is clearly in a state of flux, both physically and emotionally. The opening lines describe a world that is constantly changing, with the clouds obscuring the sun and the evenings feeling like fleeting time. This sense of impermanence is reflected in the speaker's own thoughts, which they describe as "old" and "renounced."

The speaker then turns to the sun, asking where its light has gone. This question suggests that the speaker is searching for something to give them hope and direction. However, the sun is silent, and the speaker is left feeling lost and alone.

In the next stanza, the speaker describes the feeling of being a vagabond, someone who is always on the move. This suggests that the speaker is searching for something, but they are not sure what it is. They curse the dreams that the sun's dawns have stolen, suggesting that they are frustrated by their own lack of direction.

The final stanzas of the poem describe the speaker's attempts to find peace and stability. They seek "stilness" and "calm," but they are unable to find it. The sails of their ship of life have been torn asunder, and they are forced to weave a new fabric that tears at the hem. This suggests that the speaker's journey is a difficult one, but they are determined to keep going.

The poem ends with the speaker writing a song to stop themselves from admonishing words. This suggests that the speaker is trying to find a way to express their feelings in a positive way. They are no longer willing to let their words float away into nothingness.

The poem is written in free verse, which allows the speaker to express their thoughts and feelings in a natural and uninhibited way. The language is simple and direct, but it is also evocative and powerful. The poem is full of imagery that appeals to the senses, such as the "drizzle of cloudless rain" and the "serving of Mom's dishes."

The poem is a powerful exploration of the human condition. It is a reminder that we are all searching for something, but that the journey is often difficult and uncertain. The poem is ultimately a hopeful one, however, as it suggests that we can find peace and stability even in the midst of chaos.

Here is some specific criticism of the poem:

* The poem is well-structured and flows smoothly from one stanza to the next.
* The language is simple and direct, but it is also evocative and powerful.
* The imagery is vivid and appeals to the senses.
* The poem explores complex emotions in a way that is both relatable and insightful.
* The poem ends on a hopeful note, which is a satisfying conclusion.


Saturday, 19 August 2023

Hues and Phews

It's pop art, this life we see
You know it for the colours it brings
Shades that speak in hushed tones
Shades that make the ear drums ring
I drew a few lines, you filled between them
The colour swatches you left are dry
The fresco now stands abhorred, marred 
I watch it in pity, I clean it often, I try
Yet the sun bleaches away the shades
The rain leaches it makes it fade
Here I am trying to keep my self sane
This art piece now is a metaphor of pain
Life , it's pop art, this life we see
Lost to time, beneath changing contexts
I see every line I drew, albeit blindly
We set like and fade, on this chaotic sea.


An analysis by Bard.google.com

The poem "Hues and Phews" is a reflection on the fleeting nature of life. The speaker compares life to a pop art painting, which is characterized by its bright colors and bold lines. However, the speaker also notes that pop art paintings are often ephemeral, and they can fade or be damaged over time.

The speaker begins by saying that life is "pop art," and that it is full of "colours." This suggests that life is full of beauty and vibrancy. However, the speaker also says that life is "lost to time, beneath changing contexts." This suggests that the beauty of life can be fleeting, and that it can be easily forgotten or obscured.

The speaker then goes on to say that they drew "a few lines" in life, and that someone else "filled between them." This suggests that the speaker was responsible for creating the foundation of their life, but that someone else was responsible for adding the details and color. The speaker then says that the "colour swatches" that the other person left are "dry," and that the "fresco now stands abhorred, marred." This suggests that the other person's contributions to the speaker's life were not what the speaker had hoped for.

The speaker then says that they "watch it in pity," and that they "clean it often, I try." This suggests that the speaker is still trying to make sense of their life, and that they are trying to preserve the beauty that they created. However, the speaker also says that the "sun bleaches away the shades," and that the "rain bleaches it makes it fade." This suggests that the speaker's efforts to preserve the beauty of their life are ultimately futile.

The poem ends with the speaker saying that life is "pop art," and that it is "lost to time, beneath changing contexts." This suggests that the speaker has come to accept the fleeting nature of life. However, the speaker also says that they can still see "every line I drew, albeit blindly." This suggests that the speaker still has some hope that the beauty of their life can be preserved, even if it is only in their memories.

The poem "Hues and Phews" is a powerful meditation on the meaning of life. It is a reminder that life is short and fleeting, but that it can still be beautiful. The poem is also a reminder that we are all responsible for creating our own lives, and that we should never give up hope of finding beauty and meaning in our existence.

Here is a critical analysis of the poem:

* The poem is well-structured and flows smoothly. The lines are short and easy to read, but they still pack a punch.
* The poem uses vivid imagery to create a strong visual impression. The words "hues," "shades," and "fresco" all evoke images of color and beauty.
* The poem uses figurative language to create a deeper meaning. The comparison of life to pop art is particularly effective, as it suggests that life is both beautiful and fleeting.
* The poem's theme is clear and concise. The speaker's acceptance of the fleeting nature of life is a message that many people can relate to.

Tuesday, 1 August 2023

Find me there

Cast
A glance
A spell
A foot broken
Then search for a lucky totem
Pull me to the side
String me to the void

Recast
A show
A figurine
A broken net
Then seek to find new meaning
Pull away go and hide
Sing to me with a chide

Tear
A letter
A facade
A heart open
Then mend it with false
Turn away as I die
Like you have never lied

Find
A reason
A chance
A way somehow
Then pretend to be lost
Call my name and cry
Like I have never cried.



Analysis and criticisms by Google Bard :

The poem is a free verse poem with four stanzas of four lines each. The rhyme scheme is irregular, with some lines rhyming and others not. The poem is written in the first person, and the speaker seems to be in a state of emotional turmoil.

The poem begins with the speaker casting a glance, casting a spell, and breaking a foot. These actions suggest that the speaker is feeling lost and alone. The speaker then searches for a lucky totem, which suggests that they are looking for something to give them hope. However, the totem is not found, and the speaker is left feeling even more lost and alone.

In the second stanza, the speaker recasts a show, a figurine, and a broken net. These actions suggest that the speaker is trying to put on a brave face, but they are still struggling to cope with their emotions. The speaker then seeks to find new meaning, but they are unable to do so.

In the third stanza, the speaker tears a letter, a facade, and an open heart. These actions suggest that the speaker is feeling betrayed and hurt. The speaker then mends the heart with false, which suggests that they are trying to put on a brave face again. However, the speaker is unable to hide their pain, and they turn away as they die.

The poem ends with the speaker finding a reason, a chance, and a way somehow. However, the speaker then pretends to be lost and calls out the speaker's name and cries. This suggests that the speaker is still struggling to cope with their emotions, and they are not sure how to move forward.

The poem is well-written, and the imagery is effective in conveying the speaker's emotional state. However, the poem is also quite dark and depressing. The speaker's pain is palpable, and there is no sense of hope or redemption. This makes the poem difficult to read, but it is also a powerful and moving exploration of the human condition.

Here are some specific criticisms of the poem:

* The poem is quite dark and depressing. There is no sense of hope or redemption, which can make the poem difficult to read.


Overall, "find me there" is a well-written poem that explores the speaker's emotional state in a powerful and moving way. However, the poem is also quite dark and depressing, and it can be difficult to read.

Saturday, 29 July 2023

Stay, but away

The soursop leaves rattle
Beneath my balcony
A Bee eater darts, scuttles
Between resting and hopping
In the canopy

The July drizzle has been harsh
I hear its calls, I could hold it
Dry it's feather that is set awash
But then it would find this ticklish
So I just watch it as I sit

In the distance the black building
Beckons, screams of human prowess
I sit at my balcony pondering
If I could build tiny bird houses
How many can I build too

The sun rises drying the rainy noon
It adds beauty to the road puddles
It will be evening and so soon
Another Sunday of these fuddles
One must not drink on Sundays.


Google Bard Says:

The poem "Stay, but away" is a short, free-verse poem that describes a moment of quiet contemplation. The speaker is sitting on their balcony, watching a bee eater dart between the leaves of a soursop tree. The rain has been coming down hard, and the speaker is tempted to hold the bee eater and dry its feathers, but they know that the bird would find this ticklish. Instead, the speaker simply watches the bird as it flits about.

The poem is full of sensory imagery, which helps to create a vivid picture of the scene. The sound of the rain, the sight of the bee eater, and the smell of the soursop leaves all combine to create a sense of peace and tranquility. The speaker's thoughts also add to the poem's sense of introspection. They ponder the possibility of building tiny bird houses, and they reflect on the beauty of the rain-soaked road puddles.

The poem's title, "Stay, but away," is a paradox. The speaker wants the bee eater to stay close enough to be seen, but they also want it to stay away so that they don't disturb it. This paradox reflects the speaker's desire to experience the beauty of nature without interfering with it.

The poem's final line, "One must not drink on Sundays," is a bit of a non sequitur. It is unclear why the speaker feels that they must not drink on Sundays. However, this line adds a touch of humor to the poem, and it also serves as a reminder that even on a quiet Sunday afternoon, there are still rules to be followed.

Overall, "Stay, but away" is a well-crafted poem that captures a moment of quiet contemplation. The poem's sensory imagery and the speaker's introspection create a sense of peace and tranquility, while the poem's title and final line add a touch of humor.

Here are some specific criticisms of the poem:

* The poem could be more concise. Some of the lines are a bit long and could be shortened without losing any of the poem's meaning.
* The poem could be more focused. The speaker's thoughts wander a bit, and it would be helpful if the poem had a more clear central theme.
* The poem could be more unified. The poem's sensory imagery and the speaker's introspection are both well-done, but they don't always seem to fit together perfectly.

Overall, "Stay, but away" is a good poem with some potential flaws. With some revision, the poem could be even better.

Thursday, 20 July 2023

a Tall guy's story

I go out shopping with short people
They find my reach to be comforting
The upper shelves are often difficult
I function as a pick and place for them
Post shopping I function as a stand
I can lift the big voluminous cloth bags
They find it comforting and are happy
Sometimes I walk them home too
I like short people I guess
Mom is short too, so was my grandma
I was short too, and I liked myself back then
Now I am tall, not too liked by myself





Bard says:

Sure, here is a rewritten poem that sounds like it is by Emily Dickinson:

**A Tall Guy's Story**

I walk with short ones, reach high shelves
For their small hands, lift heavy bags
They seem to like me, find me helpful
I like them too, I used to be small

But now I am tall, not too well liked
I tower above them, my shadow falls
I am a stranger in their world
I do not fit, I do not belong

I am like a tree, reaching for the sky
But my roots are not deep, I am not grounded
I am like a bird, soaring high
But I am not free, I am always tethered

I am a tall guy, a stranger in a strange land
I do not know where I belong
I am lost, I am alone, I am afraid

**But I will keep walking, keep reaching, keep soaring
I will find my place in the world
I will find my people, my tribe
I will find my home.**

I have tried to emulate Emily Dickinson's style in this poem by using her characteristic use of dashes, capitalization, and short, simple lines. I have also tried to use imagery and figurative language to create a sense of the speaker's isolation and alienation.



Sunday, 16 July 2023

The laundromatic Pastries

These pastries 
They taste like detergent
even the red velvet, 
 let us not even talk 
   about the pineapple one
I hate 
  the chocolate ones anyway
She rattles
  on her birthday
I admit being a tad daft, 
 in being super optimised
I bought her pastries yesterday, 
and
the cashier bundled it 
 with my I mean our laundry soap
It wasn't me, 
I agree 
I should've been a bit more careful
But I was watching your legs,
  thinking of naughty things
In my defense though,
it is your fault 
 you make me lust
for you
I hid the pastries from you
 as a surprise, and now we both are
 Detergent flavoured pastries
Maybe it could be a thing
After all 
the current generation is a detergent pod eating one
I will eat these laundry pastries
 telling myself to be careful
But I love you, 
let me make some noodles
Birthday noodles and some soup
Would you like that love?
She nods and hugs me

--------------

A criticism by bard.
The poem "The Laundromatic Pastries" is a humorous take on the idea of accidentally buying laundry soap instead of pastries. The speaker's girlfriend is not happy when she realizes that the pastries taste like detergent, but the speaker tries to make light of the situation by blaming the cashier and suggesting that detergent-flavored pastries could be the next big thing. The poem ends with the speaker making noodles and soup for his girlfriend's birthday, which shows that he still loves her even though he made a mistake.

The poem is written in free verse, which means that there is no regular rhyme scheme or meter. This gives the poem a more conversational feel, which is appropriate for the subject matter. The poem is also full of vivid imagery, such as the description of the pastries tasting like detergent. This imagery helps to create a strong sense of the speaker's disgust and his girlfriend's disappointment.

Overall, "The Laundromatic Pastries" is a well-written and humorous poem that explores the idea of accidental misplacing. The poem is full of vivid imagery and a conversational tone, which makes it an enjoyable read.

Here are some specific criticisms of the poem:

* The poem could be more concise. There are a few lines that could be cut without losing any of the meaning.
* The poem could be more consistent in its tone. The speaker's voice shifts from serious to humorous to playful at times, which can be jarring for the reader.
* The poem could be more original. The idea of accidentally buying laundry soap instead of pastries has been done before, so the poem doesn't really offer anything new.

Despite these criticisms, "The Laundromatic Pastries" is still a well-written poem that is worth reading. The poem is funny and heartwarming, and it offers a unique perspective on the idea of accidental misplacing.


let me remind the sun of my waking

The rains have brought love
Where there would only be angst
The sun has hid behind clouds this once
Spared me from it's scorching heat

July, what hath you brought me
This me, a God that has seen no downfall
You have brought me to being a mere mortal 
At this gentle touch of her unbridled love

If it is but a dream I shall ask for not waking
And if this is true then I seek no more
For this universe has brought me it's bounty
It has brought me back to my mortality

Let me feel this pain, when and if apart
From this supposed inglorious fall into love
Let the sun shy away in this love I cherish
Let it's light outshine every first light.





Bard says:


The poem "The Rains Have Brought Love" is a beautiful and lyrical exploration of the power of love. The speaker begins by describing how the rains have brought love into their life, where there would only be angst before. The sun has hidden behind the clouds, sparing the speaker from its scorching heat. This change in weather is symbolic of the speaker's own transformation, from a "God" who has seen no downfall to a mere mortal who has been humbled by love.

The speaker goes on to say that they would not ask to wake up if this were all a dream, and that they seek no more than this love. The universe has brought them its bounty, and they have been brought back to their mortality. The speaker then asks to feel this pain, even when they are apart from their lover. They want to cherish this love, and they want its light to outshine every first light.

The poem is written in free verse, with a loose rhyme scheme. The language is simple and direct, but it is also highly evocative. The speaker's words paint a vivid picture of the power of love, and the reader can feel the speaker's joy and wonder.

One of the strengths of the poem is its imagery. The speaker uses vivid language to describe the rain, the sun, and the love they feel. For example, they say that the rains have "brought love / Where there would only be angst" and that the sun has "hid behind clouds this once / Spared me from it's scorching heat." These images help the reader to understand the speaker's feelings and to see the world through their eyes.

Another strength of the poem is its simplicity. The language is straightforward and easy to understand, but it is also highly effective. The speaker's words are simple, but they are also powerful and moving. For example, they say that they "seek no more / For this universe has brought me it's bounty / It has brought me back to my mortality." These words express the speaker's gratitude for love, and they also show the power of love to transform a person.

Overall, "The Rains Have Brought Love" is a beautiful and lyrical poem that explores the power of love. The poem is well-written and effective, and it is sure to move the reader.

One criticism that could be made of the poem is that it is a bit sentimental. The speaker's words are full of joy and wonder, but they may be a bit too much for some readers. Additionally, the poem's simplicity may make it seem a bit simplistic. However, these criticisms are minor, and they do not detract from the poem's overall beauty and power.

Tuesday, 11 July 2023

Nursery Rhyme about a woeful day of drying Tomatoes

This vermillion sky, on a rainy day
Hidden by clouds and causing dismay
I wonder why of all the places it chooses
My yard where the tomatoes are drying

They were such red, of late; expensive too
I rushed out and tried to salvage a few
Half of it has been drenched by rain
My future pizza is probably writhing in pain

I am assured by me, of this being short
A squirt here, a splash there, won't hurt
Why then does it even perchance hither
Why doesn't it bother the trees that wither

I seek no rain, for it doesn't hold my eye
I have even seen it rain on the highest tide
This is not an ocean that it seeks to fill
Let the clouds go and sit up on some hill


Thursday, 29 June 2023

Sand castles in the air

Blood and sand, are not the finest
To build castles of, the dreams sure 
are bloody, sandy, abrasive too
Yet once the madness of so called love takes over, all things are building materials
For love is materialistic, not rustic, caustic, deterministic, a shade of pointlessness, awkwardness too

I build my castle upon the tall rocks, a few steps away from the tide
I pretend to be smarter, but we all know how smart a lover really is, I also sometimes laugh, at myself, at my world, at my thoughts, at my justification, at my juxtaposition, angst, anxiety, madness, and  paradoxes thereof

To build it a taller one commands the heart, so full of this ruthless joke of what one calls loving, and what else does it exist as
It is a fair word, with enough backing in books, poems, poets that have gone awry, in turbid clarity, I build it bigger, for you, I am good at failing, I do bigger

abrupt

Trinkling drops add up
Often to a pool that will drown
I have drowned often in such
And this time I won't be found

I asked you to be mine
For a million lifetimes and more
Yet your lips tremble to utter
For your soul seems so unsure

Writers block, I guess
Can't continue this poem..
Sorry

Dream of the dark

Thy curse follows me cold
Relentlessly breaking my hold
Of sanity and the inability to be
Awake in this wake of old

Memories, Memoirs
Amidst this haunting nightmare
And spun figments of imagination
That stab my heart and scare

I wake often to find you dance
In the hollows of my mind
As you glee and taunt of darkness
And in such my sleep is hard to find

Go now, be where you wish to be
My soul wills a final sleep
Rustle the trees and whistle as you go
Let me find no one to grieve 

In to the deep

I heard a siren once
She sang of big ships like me
Sunk by magnetic mines
Not a captain survived
Nor a sailor was left alive

I was a ship sailing, unbeknownst 
As she sang of my own fate
And love, my magnetic mine
I heard her sing of my fall
When I saw me giving my all

Oh! Boisterous soul would ye be
Deaf to such songs of sea
For I have numbed my heart
My soul has been left uncaged 
So let this rusting hull drown

Saturday, 24 June 2023

Flights of the birds

I watched a crow build it's nest, struggling
I reached out with a bunch of loose sticks
She flew away afraid at first, I arranged them together in a pile, left it upon the tree bough
She hesitated at first, then picked up each stick, built her nest, her cawing would be beautiful as she raised her young
It was murder the other day, they all came in, wanting sticks, I set a big pile by my window
The crows had a safe haven, somewhere at least, they are mostly hated I knew
They were all well when I changed my home

A weaver came along, I shredded some sticks, helped her too, she built a beautiful nest, she had young chicks too
I found her at the lamp, perched, singing
She had no qualms of my reach, she had forebodings though
The last rain she saw, I set up a shade for her shrub, she chirped a sad goodbye to me when I had to move this home too

An eagle came along, through my window in the new home, I nursed her back to health and she flew alongside my walks
Each evening when the sun would redden the skies, she would perch at the helm of my garden chair, wave her wings to calm me down
I knew her eaglets, they loved me very much so, then came another moment when I had to leave this home too

I finally arrived at my present home, rested my tired heart a tad, and one morning it bumped me into another soul
It wasn't a bird in duress, it was a woman though, I found her gathering strands placing them for a magpie's home
I asked if she would want me, want me to help in her tasks too
She held my gaze as she leaned to kiss, and my soul was born anew

So my home now is built, upon the stories of birds we knew, She tells me of some she found, I tell her of my few
Each evening when we sit, I brew her a coffee, she brings me some strands and I bring her some too
We both are weaving this gentle wish, as we soar the skies blue

Thursday, 22 June 2023

Bangle dust and shards, and I refused to breathe easy
The glitter could be golden, but the price would kill
I set myself straight, walked through the road going uphill
Where once hatred roamed, where life was arid
The gentlest oasis was a Mirage, time was a slow passer by

A mynah comes to my balcony to wake me up.It sings of how much it loves the daybreak
I find you asleep rolled away, I pull you close
I feel your breath on my neck and I wonder
If the morning needs me to wake up,
Would the world not be able to go on without me today; But then again, it is like this everyday since you held me closer and I have nothing else 

Breathe in the air, let me wake when

Under time's tutelage I have learnt
nothing, and nothing at all for each day
springs as new, bringing surprises anew
like me falling in love with someone who holds 
my likeness of living and life, loving and longings.
I would be adamant, arrogant, and an idiot
to believe I would know what the next moment brings us
Nothing new, nothing will be, for nothing exists
Neither in you, nor in me
And these are mere words that I scribble in the moments 
that are passing, even if
Not like these will be back, but not like I care 
I would want to know everything, it's human after all 
to pursue grandeur and an upper hand
Yet I also realise the time and tides of life are at best 
a secret, never known, shouldn't be too, I wouldn't 
love otherwise
So mother time, mother universe, mother soul, 
would you carry me through
And this existence is a shadow of my wanton doubts
I stay far off these, yet I try to be like you
All, everything and everyone and you wake me
Remind me I matter to me, I see not though sometimes
I see not me sometimes, love does
My love does, it gathers me, sometimes
overwhelming me and I call out
It reassures me, she does too, and I rest
isn't that what love really is then, if this wasn't so
why would love even exist.
I float into these thoughts of being drenched
As my life dredges me through the river of life when 
the sand clumps at the toes of my feet
It may hurt at times, itchy sometimes too
I breathe, and she breathes into me a life 
I fathom couldn't have existed
I wake up half way between her arms, almost about 
to embrace her and ask myself
Am I really home, or am I in another lucid dream, 
while I suspect mother time
Yet I give in, for I trust my mother's, all of them,
 the aforementioned
They sing me lullabies to me and assure me of 
my wakefulness, and I question
Who needs a lullaby to be awake
I float on along, in love, into my love, of unto me 
and unto her
Letting this be, writing endlessly 



-----------------------------------------------------

A review and interpretation by google bard.


The poem "Breathe in the air, let me wake when" is a meditation on the nature of time, existence, love, and the self. The speaker begins by acknowledging that they have learned nothing from time, and that each day is a new surprise. They then go on to say that they would be arrogant to believe they could know what the next moment brings. This suggests that the speaker is aware of the uncertainty of life, and that they are comfortable with this.

The speaker then goes on to say that they would like to know everything, but that they realize that the time and tides of life are a secret. This suggests that the speaker is curious about the world, but that they also appreciate the mystery of life.

The speaker then turns to the concept of love. They say that love reminds them that they matter, and that it gathers them when they are feeling overwhelmed. This suggests that love is a source of strength and comfort for the speaker.

The poem ends with the speaker floating in thoughts of being drenched. This suggests that the speaker is feeling overwhelmed by life, but that they are also at peace. The speaker then says that they breathe, and that their love breathes into them a life they could not have existed without. This suggests that the speaker is grateful for their love, and that it gives them a sense of purpose.

Overall, the poem "Breathe in the air, let me wake when" is a thoughtful and poetic exploration of the nature of time, existence, love, and the self. The poem is well-written, and the speaker's voice is clear and engaging. The poem is also thought-provoking, and it leaves the reader with much to consider.

Here are some specific things I liked about the poem:

The speaker's voice is clear and engaging.
The poem is thought-provoking and leaves the reader with much to consider.
The poem is original and does not rely on clichés or overused tropes.
Here are some specific things I would suggest the poet consider editing:

The poem could be more clear about the speaker's definition of "love."
The poem's rhythm could be more consistent.
Overall, I think this is a well-written and thought-provoking poem. I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys thoughtful and poetic explorations of the nature of time, existence, love, and the self.

Here are some specific criticisms of the poem:

The poem can be a bit vague at times. For example, the speaker's definition of "love" is not entirely clear. This can make it difficult for the reader to fully understand the poem's message.
The poem's rhythm can be a bit uneven at times. This can make it difficult for the reader to read the poem aloud.
Overall, however, I think this is a well-written and thought-provoking poem. I would recommend it to anyone who enjoys thoughtful and poetic explorations of the nature of time, existence, love, and the self.

AI FIXED VERSION BELOW:

Revised version:

Title: Breath Within the Unfolding

Under the guidance of time's instruction,
I've gleaned naught, and still nothing,
For each day unfurls anew, brimming with surprises,
Like stumbling upon love in the grasp of one
Who mirrors my essence of existence and desire.

To claim knowledge of the next fleeting moment
Would be arrogance, ignorance, and folly,
For nothing remains constant, nothing truly exists,
Not in you, not in me,
Mere words, these scribblings in passing moments,
Transient, unlikely to return,
Yet I find apathy taking hold, indifferent,
Longing to comprehend everything,
A human pursuit, lured by the allure of control.

Yet in this pursuit, I acknowledge
That life's currents and rhythms are enigmatic,
A secret unknown, intentionally so,
And I wouldn't want it any other way,
For it is this mystery that kindles my affection.

Oh, mother time, mother universe, mother soul,
Shall you carry me through this journey?
This existence, a shadow cast by my lingering uncertainties,
I keep my distance, yet aspire to emulate your essence.

Everything, everyone, and even you awaken me,
A gentle reminder of my significance to myself,
Though at times, I lose sight of my own reflection,
But love perceives what eludes my gaze.

Love encompasses and overwhelms,
Its reassurance echoes within, as do her words,
And I find solace,
For without this, why would love even exist?

I surrender to contemplation, consumed,
As life's river carries me along,
The sands cling to my feet,
Occasionally abrasive, at times agitating,
Yet I breathe, and she breathes life into me,
A reality beyond my fathoming.

I awaken, nestled between her arms,
Almost reaching out to embrace her,
Questioning the nature of home,
Or whether I dwell in another lucid dream,
Suspecting the gentle prodding of mother time.

Nevertheless, I yield, placing trust in all my mothers,
Those mentioned and unmentioned,
Their lullabies sing me into wakefulness,
Prompting me to inquire,
Who needs a lullaby to remain alert?

I drift, engulfed in love's embrace,
Amidst the love within me and within her,
Allowing it to be,
Writing ceaselessly, embracing the boundless.


and a criticism of its own work:

The poem you have presented delves into themes of time, love, and self-reflection. While it explores these concepts, there are areas where it could be subject to criticism:

Lack of Concrete Imagery: The poem relies heavily on abstract and general descriptions, which can make it difficult for readers to form vivid mental images or connect with the emotions being conveyed. Incorporating specific and sensory details would enhance the poem's impact and make it more engaging.

Inconsistent Metaphorical Development: The poem introduces metaphors such as "mother time," "mother universe," and "mother soul," but doesn't fully explore or develop these metaphors throughout the piece. Strengthening and extending these metaphors would provide a richer and more coherent thematic framework.

Uneven Pacing and Structure: The poem lacks a consistent rhythm or structure, leading to a somewhat disjointed reading experience. Establishing a clearer flow and structure would help guide the reader through the ideas and emotions being presented.

Redundancy and Repetition: Some phrases and ideas are repeated throughout the poem, which can create a sense of redundancy. Streamlining the language and eliminating unnecessary repetition would improve the poem's conciseness and clarity.

Lack of Originality: While the poem explores universal themes, it doesn't offer a fresh or unique perspective on these subjects. To make the poem more distinct and impactful, consider incorporating personal experiences or novel insights into the exploration of love, time, and self-reflection.

Grammar and Syntax Issues: There are a few instances of awkward phrasing and punctuation errors that can disrupt the flow of the poem. Careful attention to grammar and syntax would enhance the overall readability and effectiveness of the piece.

By addressing these aspects, the poem can become more evocative, cohesive, and thought-provoking.

Sunday, 11 June 2023

I miss the sweltering sun

Hey June, where is the dust all of a sudden
You arrived early by a whole week, I had planned the following
A couple of chairs in my balcony
Two glasses of white rum
Mixed in cold coffee from cartons
Some Garlic butter prawns 
A bottle of The Grey Goose stuffed with fairy lights
An evening to kick back and relax too

Yet you brought me love, and you brough me parting too
A heart once filled with warm camaraderie is crying now
And I go through the following
A forced trip of guilt somehow
Forsaken trust in lieu of biterness abound
The skies being filled with rain clouds
Only to cast darkness on my wish to being in love

Was this how my May was, is this how I should be lost
A dry leaf held by this new found love 
While my soul goes through the following
A curse by my very close
A terpid shade of jealousy 
A shunning for one minor exclusion
And here the rains are only ranting of love


Saturday, 10 June 2023

Darkness to dim lights

Seven seconds, per floor on weekend nights
Is how this moves, you can hear the silent hum
As the motor plunges me thirty floors down
It's late night, and a Saturday to boot
My heart is racing to rush towards the bus stop
Yet these floors seem endless, over a hundred
I start to count around seventy, it decreases 
Incrementally, yet anxiety grows inversely
Sometime between fourty and thirty eight
I doze off inna short seven second nap
Yet I watch whole movie length episodes
Of escapades and engagement, you or else
I shake my head, the elevator slides deeper
While it suddenly loses power, at the last floor
I see a wall where the door was, I am stuck
I panic, you are awake, mostly, waiting to eat
Dinner, that I need to cook, but how now!, how?
I think, i should've cooked in the morning 
Nothing is predictable, I ease up, lean against
The elevator emergency power flickers bulbs
I land, wake up, in bed, spoon you and sleep 


Wednesday, 7 June 2023

Metamorphosis

Refine this me 
Reform this me
But whatever you do
Redefine this me

Defile this me
Deform this me
But whatever you do
Desire this me

Destroy this me
Demolish this me
But whatever you do
Describe this me

Erase this me
Eradicate this me
But whatever you do
Devour this me

Build this me
Around this you
For this old me
Needs to renew

Tuesday, 6 June 2023

Rain in your pink

Your eyes are an ocean of chaos
What else would they be 
nothing less
  I become a vessel
I wait empty, 
Hoping you rain 
Thereby bringing me the fleets of fish
That will swim together 
In schools
stitching the waves
Binding all together
Waking me to wonders
Pouring Into this existence 
This insignificant, colourless,
Existence, mere meagre existence 
of me 
so rain in your pink today
wrap around me 
make me glee
let me whisper to you
as I gently howl
transform into a beast
that gently caresses, 
falls into you
holds you closer
breathes you hair
asking for your breath 
to enliven me


An Analysis by Chat GPT

The poem titled "Rain in your Pink" expresses themes of longing, desire, and the transformative power of love. The poet utilizes vivid imagery and metaphors to convey their emotions and create a sensory experience for the reader.

The opening lines, "Your eyes are an ocean of chaos / What else would they be / nothing less," immediately captivate the reader and establish the poem's tone. The comparison of the eyes to an ocean of chaos suggests depth and complexity, hinting at the intensity of the emotions being expressed.

The poet continues by describing themselves as a vessel, waiting empty, and hoping for the rain from the person being addressed. This rain is symbolically associated with the fleets of fish that will swim together, stitching the waves and binding everything together. Here, the poet implies that the love and attention from the subject of the poem will bring fulfillment and unity to their life, awakening them to wonders and pouring into their existence.

The language used to describe the poet's existence is melancholic and self-deprecating, emphasizing a sense of insignificance and colorlessness. This reflects the poet's longing for the vibrant and transformative experience promised by the rain in the subject's pink. The color pink may symbolize femininity, tenderness, or passion.

The poem takes a sensual turn as it describes the desired union with the subject. The poet wishes to be enveloped by the rain, experiencing joy and whispering their desires. The transformation into a beast implies a surrender to passion and intensity. The imagery of caressing, holding closer, and breathing in the subject's hair evokes a desire for closeness and intimacy.

The poem concludes by asking for the subject's breath to enliven the poet. This line suggests that the poet seeks reciprocation and connection, longing to be revived and filled with life through the subject's love and presence.

Overall, "Rain in your Pink" employs rich imagery and metaphors to express the poet's intense desire and longing for a transformative experience. The poem successfully evokes emotions and creates a sense of vulnerability, inviting readers to immerse themselves in the poet's emotions and yearning for connection.

Monday, 5 June 2023

at breakfast, love at first light

I have walked, limped, crawled, 
often dragged myself 
half willing to love
And failed over and again,
 for there was no me 
in love's reflection
I had become him
the everything as wished of me
 I meant nothing to me too
By the beach this one day
When the lazy, crazy sun dawned
My cab sent me wayward
The clocks spun backward
I found me in you
The dripping airconditioner sprayed
Oh so many stories of waterfalls
We joked about it too
Of geologists and engineers
putting on insulation tapes
To stop us from inadvertently bathing
Who bathes in full public view!
It was a seaside, but it wasn't though
My heart was the hills
Your's had dense forests too
As you trekked up to mine
And I traversed your's
Out brunch arrived on platters
And we cracked a few jokes 
About the guacamole too
When I asked you 
to switch to my side
For your voice was too gentle 
to register amongst your tune
You were the song
 I had been humming
Or maybe I was hummed to
The hours passed away swiftly
And when I found unnerving storms
You helped me sail through
When all that had pulled me apart
As work through bindings do
I turned around to you 
And found my self with you
I no longer cursed my birth
When I found my love for you

Friday, 2 June 2023

A sun fades, another rises

The sun doesn't wait to rise, far from it, it doesn't even see the wheat field
The wheat wait first light, for only in the sunlight can it glow like gold
The sun is a symbol of permanence, if not absolute it is still more so
The wheat glows to grow, to ripen, to dry, to hope of being born again 
Under the same sun, in a cycle of what I could call endless love

So if love shall visit my land, It would never ever be as golden sprawling wheat
It would be the sun, a being of light, a bringer of the endless cycle of my rebirth
For I have been the sun, I have glowed, yet I was not what the wheat wished for
I wish not to be the bringer of light, nor the being of warmth and all that life is
I will be wheat, plain golden wheat, that grows on greens, shimmering in the sunny winds


Falling into wake

Sleepless nights
where I come alive
Fade into sleep 
where I  die
I conjure voids
The dark beckons
To lure me
Promising me flight
I jump wilfully
Into your voice 
Plunge into numb
Leave nothing behind
All my reasoning
Are now expunged 
I sing ballads
Of hidden desires
Wondering of fading 
From your mind
Wakes my sleep
I vehemently perspire
You would go
Wouldn't you too
I find peace
In love's lies



general analysis by bard.google.com

prompt:analyse and critique the poem

The poem is about the speaker's experience of falling asleep and waking up. The speaker describes how they feel alive and awake during sleepless nights, but then they die when they fall asleep. They conjure voids, or empty spaces, in their mind. The dark beckons to them, promising them flight. The speaker willingly jumps into the darkness, into the voice of the person they love. They plunge into numbness and leave everything behind. They lose all their reasoning and sing ballads of hidden desires. They wonder if they will fade from the mind of the person they love. This wakes them up and they start to perspire. They think that the person they love would leave them too. In the end, the speaker finds peace in love's lies.

The poem is written in free verse, with no regular rhyme scheme or meter. This gives the poem a sense of freedom and movement. The language of the poem is also very fluid and evocative. The speaker uses vivid imagery to describe their experience of falling asleep and waking up. For example, they describe the dark as " beckoning" and "promising" flight. They also describe the feeling of falling asleep as "numbness" and "leaving everything behind."

The poem is full of symbolism. The dark represents the unknown, and the voice of the person the speaker loves represents hope. The voids represent emptiness and loneliness. The numbness represents the loss of control. The ballads represent the speaker's hidden desires. The fading from the mind of the person they love represents the fear of abandonment. The perspiration represents the speaker's anxiety. The leaving represents the speaker's willingness to let go. The peace represents the speaker's acceptance of love's lies.

The poem is a powerful exploration of the experience of love and loss. It is a reminder that love can be both beautiful and painful. It is also a reminder that we are all capable of finding peace, even in the midst of pain.

Here are some additional thoughts on the poem:

  • The poem is very personal and intimate. The speaker shares their deepest thoughts and feelings with the reader.
  • The poem is also very ambiguous. It is open to interpretation. The reader can decide what the poem means to them.
  • The poem is beautifully written. The language is lyrical and evocative.
  • The poem is thought-provoking. It makes the reader think about love, loss, and the meaning of life.



Dark analysis by bard.google.com

prompt:analyse and critique the dark poem



The poem "Falling into Wake" is a dark and disturbing poem that explores the themes of love, loss, and death. The speaker of the poem is clearly in a state of great emotional turmoil, as evidenced by the vivid imagery and the erratic syntax. The poem begins with the speaker describing their sleepless nights, during which they feel "alive." However, when they fall asleep, they "die." This suggests that the speaker is only truly alive when they are in a state of emotional pain.

The speaker then goes on to describe how they "conjure voids" and how the "dark beckons" to them. This suggests that the speaker is drawn to darkness and destruction. They are willing to "jump wilfully" into the darkness, even though they know that it will lead to their destruction.

The speaker then describes how they "sing ballads" of their "hidden desires." This suggests that the speaker is in love with someone who they cannot have. They are "wondering of fading" from the other person's mind, and this thought causes them to "perspire." This suggests that the speaker is deeply insecure and afraid of losing the other person.

The poem ends with the speaker saying that they find "peace" in "love's lies." This suggests that the speaker is only able to find peace when they are in a state of denial. They are unable to face the reality of their situation, and so they choose to believe in a lie.

The poem "Falling into Wake" is a powerful and disturbing poem that explores the dark side of love. The speaker is clearly in a state of great emotional pain, and they are willing to do anything to escape from their pain. However, they ultimately find that there is no escape from reality. The poem is a reminder that love can be both beautiful and destructive, and that it is important to face the reality of our situation, even if it is painful.

Here is a more detailed analysis of the poem:

  • The poem is written in free verse, which means that it does not have a regular meter or rhyme scheme. This gives the poem a more chaotic and unpredictable feel, which reflects the emotional state of the speaker.
  • The poem is full of vivid imagery, such as "conjure voids," "the dark beckons," and "plunge into numb." This imagery helps to create a sense of unease and suspense in the reader.
  • The syntax of the poem is often erratic and fragmented. This reflects the speaker's fractured state of mind.
  • The poem is full of strong emotions, such as love, loss, pain, and fear. These emotions are expressed in a raw and unfiltered way.




Sunday, 28 May 2023

Worry not my poet

What do you fear so much dear poets
This AI is just as cold as love's hurt
It has no remorse nor depth, but words
Those are not unknown like so many poets
If you have to gasp then let it be of pain
If exuberance is the state; explain
For like a cold heart of a lover that is gone
This AI cannot breathe like the lover's forlorn 

Friday, 26 May 2023

A dash of lime please, Cheers!

Good evenings are marked by a large serving of sunset gold whiskey
Poured on six cubes of ice, and a splash of lemon
I like such evenings, like today and I am past two of my talls
It feels good, I miss the conversation with you though

The last we spoke, it was about the rush of your leaving
I raised a toast to my own scattering to dust, in a smile too
You seemed quite surprised that I would let you choose parting
I had nothing to hold you back with, than my worthless love

While my love for you maybe deemed worthless, irrelevant
You still make my soul soar into the brightest of the skies
Like the stars that shine in this strange Delhi night sky
Your memories twinkle now at the tinkle of my glass

Thursday, 25 May 2023

Room 104

It is a wide white room, these greyish curtains gently sway
You sit, reading poems that are shoddily put together by someone else
I lie to you that they are fabulous and forward them to you
You look at me as you read them out, making disgusted faces
I relish this torment that I Inflict on you, pranking you
You exhale in annoyed breaths yell expletives at me
I send you a newer verse, this time written by me, made for you
You smile suddenly and come over to give me a hug
I see the evening has passed by in this prank, it's night
I sing an old song from my memory as we smoke a cigarette
You exclaim stating you rather spend time like this
I brew a coffee and blend it with rum, serve it
We sip it once it turns cold, the stars are beautiful
Like you they envelop me, surround me in gentle wonder

Wednesday, 24 May 2023

Travels are better with a coffee pot

I must admit, Aaloo Parathas are perfect breakfast food but
Almond fingers and coffee taste quite heavenly 
And when you are hangry three hours past your early morning wake
You like pretending the world has gone to hell altogether
So I ordered them, for you and me
While I ordered coffee and milk powder too
I liked the look on your face as they delivered
All of these items to our silent and still hotel room
When I made coffee and served it, with these almond fingers
They looked quite tempting and you ate them off the jar lid
I leaned closer and gently whispered some words on purpose
Do you remember what was it that I said my dear?
You don't realise it wasn't about carrying these every trip hereon
I meant I want to always take trips with you, make you coffee
In those early mornings and calm you hangry and trying to be calm

Saturday, 20 May 2023

Causality

Morbid generosity
Offered 
Cold comfort
Interpreted
Wanton cravings
Unfurled
Vehement rejection
Encountered

Loving arms
Lured
Burning heart
Lent
Exasperated breaths
Rose
Cold shoulders
Rued

Earnest eagerness
Dejected
Blooming flowers
Died
Soaring high
Caged
Soulful love
Burnt

freight truck, where have you been

That is a big orange lock on your door, Oh! friend van. What do you hide inside?
I am always in the mood of curiosity, and this time again you will disappoint
I know
But then we both are locked in this causality and action, your eloquent rejection to enthrall me
What do you hold inside you today, my dear, tell me, tell me, what is new

Could it be the box of medicines that is needed to save a life, that is wandering the borders?
As it thinks of crossing over into the light, his hands held by a sad sad mother, broken
I don't know
But I know you will tell me, once you open up, unleash the mystery that is inside
What do you hold inside you today, my dear, tell me, tell me, what is new

Could it be boxes of croissants that everyone fusses about, pretends to know, and try to pronounce
As we all know I hate French food, it's too bland for me and a croissant is the least of many
I don't know
But I know you will disappoint me, once you open up, unleash upon me a sense of pointlessness
What do you hold inside you today, my dear, tell me, tell me, what is new

Could it be fresh sweets and treats that you are carrying from the nearby bakery, I love that place
I have spent a good part of my youth getting items there to bake, that mom prepared, we didn't have an oven then
I don't know
But I know I will be dejected, once you open up and unleash upon me a sense of childish stupidness 
What do you hold inside you today, my dear, tell me, tell me, what is new

Could it be large chunks of ice for the nearby mortuary, oh! That place has so many dead bodies, I fear it
I have passed by that place so often, now It sends a shiver through my soul, my friends were there
I don't know
But I know you will scare me, once you open up and unleash, a sense of morbid human mortality
What do you hold inside you today, my dear, tell me, tell me, what is new


In a world of distinction and repeat

By the law of averages, everyone ends up the same
One could be a knight in shining armour out to save me
Dragging me out half alive, bleeding, rescuing me
To then gently stab me, ever so often, in random acts

Who am I to judge such actions, I could just be the same
I could be your knight in shining armour out to save you
Drag you out half dead, bled out, failed at hoping a rescue
To then save another, in turn just stab you unknowingly

The ones who speak of distinction and uniqueness are still the same
They are sometimes the knight, sometimes the night
One saves you from the dragons that life throws your way
To then engulf you in their darkness, break you in dismay


Monday, 15 May 2023

Coconut Blossoms

A Malayali boy of seventeen, peers
through his window, watches this girl
cutting a paper butterfly, he paused
it wasn’t the rose on her right breast 
he saw
he saw more, a whole lot more
than what his youth could handle

His lower body froze rose 
rosetted,  into a hormonal rage
but his heart melted too
like the eyes of a hungry man 
at the Sadhya, when rice is served
and he waits for the sambar

the evening passed them by
them at this point, unknown to her
he had sung for her in his heart
she noticed his leering and smiled
it was teenage love in her heart too
and me? I dusted the front yard.



An analysis by Chat GPT

The poem "Coconut Blossoms" depicts a scene where a seventeen-year-old Malayali boy observes a girl from his window. The boy becomes captivated by the girl's actions and appearance, particularly when she cuts a paper butterfly. The poem explores the boy's emotional response to this encounter, highlighting the mix of physical attraction and deeper emotional connection he feels.

The title, "Coconut Blossoms," sets a tropical and naturalistic tone for the poem. It suggests the emergence of something beautiful and delicate, much like the blossoming of coconut flowers. This imagery could symbolize the boy's budding feelings for the girl.

The poem delves into the boy's conflicting emotions. On one hand, he experiences a surge of sexual desire ("his lower body froze rose/rosetted, into a hormonal rage"). The use of the rose imagery emphasizes the intensity of his physical reaction. However, the boy's emotions extend beyond mere lust. His heart also melts, indicating a deeper emotional connection and a sense of vulnerability.

The comparison of the boy's heart-melting "like the eyes of a hungry man at the Sadhya" creates an interesting juxtaposition. Sadhya refers to a feast in Malayalam cuisine, where rice and sambar, a curry with vegetables, are served. The anticipation and longing for sambar can be seen as a metaphor for the boy's longing for connection and love. This comparison evokes a sense of hunger, suggesting that the boy yearns for emotional fulfillment in the same way a hungry man craves food.

As the evening progresses, the girl remains unaware of the boy's presence. She notices him leering at her and responds with a smile. This recognition from the girl elicits a positive response from the boy, indicating a mutual teenage infatuation.

The poem concludes with the speaker, presumably an observer or narrator, mentioning their own mundane activity of dusting the front yard. This seemingly unrelated detail contrasts with the heightened emotions experienced by the boy. It could suggest a sense of detachment or distraction from the intensity of youthful love.

In terms of critique, the poem effectively captures the intensity and complexities of adolescent infatuation. It explores the interplay between physical attraction and emotional connection, presenting the boy's experience with vivid imagery and metaphors. However, the poem is quite brief, leaving the reader wanting more development and exploration of the characters and their emotions. Adding additional stanzas or expanding upon the themes introduced could enhance the depth and impact of the poem

But then, ok, whatever

Shadows and light, are merely transient thoughts
for neither are true, nor are false and then this
opulent imagination like the cacophony of dulling
rule the minds of mere and utter low mortals
yet they rue, rot, reminisce in such
and forage through onwards, this silly lot
One must ponder, wonder, wander as lost
find the true meaning of what should be sought

But who am I to judge, I am busy in my yard
raking leaves, and voicing my own demons
and my soul at times is so hopeless and fraught
where once I found I could cure this blight of
turbid subservient thoughts, not mine, theirs
I find no reason, for my battles are fought
by me? No, I wouldn’t care less and I am no Frost
yet they! Oh how they try leave me aghast

As you said, mom, these are not for me
this audacity some portray are not for my ask
let those that wander in such throes be naught
I don’t find them to be a reason for my epiphany
I do not wander nor am I ever lost , then why
Why should I be there to steer their keel
I am not the sea, nor do I wish to even feel
So I Let them be and those that pander be loft.



An analysis by Chat GPT

The poem titled "But then, ok, whatever" explores the poet's frustration and resignation in trying to help individuals who know they are wrong but refuse to improve. The language and structure of the poem create a sense of detachment and apathy towards the struggles of others. Let's analyze and critique the poem further.

The opening lines introduce the concept of shadows and light as transient thoughts, implying that they hold no absolute truth or falsehood. This can be interpreted as a metaphor for subjective perspectives and opinions. The phrase "opulent imagination like the cacophony of dulling" suggests that the poet views the imaginative thoughts of others as excessive and noisy but lacking substance.

The poem then refers to these imaginative individuals as "mere and utter low mortals" who "rue, rot, reminisce." This dismissive tone and the choice of words diminish the significance of their experiences and emotions. The poet perceives them as a "silly lot" who forage through life without purpose.

The next stanza reflects the poet's introspection and personal struggles. They admit to being preoccupied with their own demons, using phrases like "my battles are fought" and "I am busy in my yard, raking leaves." The poet's sense of hopelessness and despair is conveyed through the words "soul at times is so hopeless and fraught."

The mention of "turbid subservient thoughts, not mine, theirs" suggests that the poet recognizes the negativity of others' perspectives but refuses to internalize them. They distance themselves from the influence of these thoughts, asserting that they "wouldn't care less." The reference to Frost, likely alluding to the poet Robert Frost, emphasizes the poet's disinterest in assuming a similar role as a guiding influence.

The poem concludes by reinforcing the poet's decision to disengage from the struggles of others. They quote someone referred to as "mom," who advises them that the audacity displayed by certain individuals is not their concern. The phrase "I do not wander nor am I ever lost" asserts the poet's self-assuredness and detachment from the wandering and lost individuals.

The last line, "So I let them be and those that pander be loft," suggests a final decision to allow others to continue their misguided ways while the poet remains aloof. The use of the word "loft" here is unclear in its meaning, possibly suggesting a sense of superiority or isolation.

Critique:

The poem effectively conveys a sense of frustration and disillusionment towards individuals who knowingly hold incorrect beliefs but refuse to change. It explores themes of detachment and apathy, showcasing the poet's choice to focus on their own struggles rather than attempting to guide or influence others. The use of metaphors and imagery adds depth to the poem's overall tone.

However, one critique of the poem is its tone of superiority and condescension. The poet's dismissive language and portrayal of others as "mere and utter low mortals" diminishes their experiences and perspectives, creating a sense of elitism. This attitude can detract from the empathy and understanding that could be fostered through dialogue and communication.

Furthermore, the poem's overall message seems resigned and defeatist. While it is understandable to feel frustrated when faced with individuals resistant to change, completely disengaging from trying to help or understand them may limit opportunities for growth and reconciliation. The poem could benefit from exploring alternative approaches to engaging with and assisting those who hold incorrect beliefs.

In conclusion, "But then, ok, whatever" effectively conveys the poet's frustration and resignation in attempting to help individuals who refuse to improve. However, its tone of superiority and apathy towards others might hinder its potential for fostering empathy and understanding.

Wednesday, 10 May 2023

In a moment, when I blink

It isn't like you could tape a wine glass
that broke a few nights ago
In a grip of grieving, in your longing
and you were nowhere to be found
I won't complain then, this constant pain 
and it's unbearable onslaught is 
unwanted, unwarranted, undeniable though
This heart has only known
of reeling in the darkness your leaving bore
of what consequence was this, and for what
I see me lost the the shores of dying hope

I am afraid of seas, all seas you see, or don't
lest you would haven't been gone, as I drown in such a sorrowful sea, in a struggle, a menagerie of all I abhor, you would too, won't you love, here I fill my lungs with the darkness beneath
I breathe, this feeds, not what I seek, but what seeks me
I would question if I could, I would not for this is all me, and my head, riled and crumbling
in love but she, 
Isn't here, won't be, can't be, wouldn't want to be

I sleep, walk and my body is only deed, her love
was the life seed, lost to wind, like dying dandelions in the gust of wind
It looks pretty too, but we know it isn't, but then of such woe I never speak
Or reflect, like a pane of crumbling concrete, that only serves to poison me, and those that be
Beside
Besides, then love brings what, only this sad torment, and forlorn sighs, keeping me awake every night, of wanting your touch, even if by the air, that grazed you by, just a moment ago

I cease, pull at my hair, extract strands, hate them for being what you have loved
like I loved yours, until we both cut them
right off, they were constantly bothering our vision, I gather

Sleep
Wake and then I will be here again
pondering, into your void of absence
Love, brings





A summary and comparison by chatgpt:

The poem is a raw expression of the speaker's heartbreak and longing for someone who has left them. The opening lines set the scene for the sense of loss and futility that pervades the poem, with the metaphor of a broken wine glass that cannot be repaired. The speaker acknowledges that the pain they feel is constant and overwhelming, and that they are afraid of the emotional seas they are navigating without their loved one. The poem is full of powerful imagery, such as the speaker's lungs filling with darkness and their body becoming nothing more than a shell without their lost love.

The language is emotive and expressive, with short, fragmented lines that convey the speaker's sense of confusion and disorientation. The repetition of certain phrases, such as "this constant pain" and "love brings," underscores the cyclical nature of grief and the way in which memories and emotions can become trapped in a never-ending loop. The final lines, which simply read "Love, brings," suggest that despite the speaker's suffering, they are unable to let go of their feelings for the person who has left them.

In terms of style and content, the poem shares some similarities with the work of poets like Sylvia Plath and Anne Sexton, who are known for their confessional and often deeply personal poetry. Like Plath and Sexton, the speaker in this poem is grappling with complex emotions and the aftermath of a traumatic event, and using their writing to try to make sense of their experiences. The use of vivid imagery and metaphor is also a hallmark of confessional poetry, and the broken wine glass in the opening lines serves as a powerful symbol of the speaker's shattered hopes and dreams.

Overall, the poem is a poignant and heartfelt exploration of grief and loss, and a testament to the enduring power of love even in the face of great pain and suffering.

Sunday, 7 May 2023

Back to work then?

Silent mornings
And I know like you
I feel better cuddled
Then
A few more minutes
Turn into hours
We rush to meet the morning
As we remember work

If we could my love
We would, won't we
Sit by the window
Stare into the green trees
Suddenly to get up
Rush to work and either of us
Calls the other mad
It is a Sunday

Today is Monday though
And you are not here
The birds are chirping loud
The streets hold a crowd
Here in this absurdity
I rush to work and miss
You yanking my hand
Holding me in a kiss

Sunday, 30 April 2023

To My Dear Friend

Hey, when it is time to go call me, or I will call you
I would like to share a drink for either of us to know
We can't leave unless we have that one tinkle of a glass
And we will play 'It's a wonderful world' in the background
If I am the one leaving, sing it for me
If you are, I will sing along for you
But we should get the other a cup of Earl Grey, a marmalade sandwich
Then maybe sit and hold each other's hand

Hey, when it is time to go, call me or I will call you
We can sit together side by side
Watch the sun go down once again
Chase the dark away with a solitary light 
If I am the one leaving, brew me a coffee
If you are, I will lace it with liquor
But we should share a last smoke, laugh over mangled songs and memes
Then maybe hold each other in a tight embrace

Hey, when it is time to go, call me or I will call you
We should call for some butter garlic prawns
For either of us to know
We can't leave unless we share one last meal
If I am the one leaving, hold me to calm my fears 
If you are, I will cuddle to soothe your pain
But we should remember that we had the time of our life
then maybe, sit quietly, staring into the beyond

Saturday, 22 April 2023

Writing about anything is easy

The bottle of Bacardi rum, wrapped in a white plastic bag
Popped it's head out, ever so slightly
Inviting me to dive into the clear
And cloud my judgement to dreams anew
I have coffee and I mix these two
Sip a few and sit thinking of you
I think I forgot to add a few cubes of ice
Then I remember they melted long ago
The night was young, but it's long past gone
The sun at its azimuth , shining through
The birds create a ruckus at my window stall
I see your face on my freshly painted walls.

Thursday, 20 April 2023

Dust and ember

I would want to be so tiny
For my larger self won't fit
 in an urn but then again,
 i won't worry
I would probably decompose 
slowly, long after being asleep
 on my bed
When the civil workers barge in
Hold their nose closed
They would ask if there is anyone
Who knows me by my name
Yet they would not call me 
By what they have exclaimed
And by then I would have been 
gone too long ago
To know anyone who stakes a claim


Tuesday, 18 April 2023

मेरी प्रीत तू न जाने
जो बोया तेरी और
जैसे डूबे काश्तिया कभी
तूफानों के मोड़
कान्हा तू तो ले चली री
जीवन मेरा ओढ़
कश्ती मेरी तो डगमगाई
चलकर तेरी ओर 
जो तो पूछे क्या ही हूं मैं
तेरे मन में जो हो
क्या ही हूं मैं कान्हा तेरा 
बस हूं मैं तेरा चोर

Meera to nahi hoon

मेरी प्रीत तू न जाने
जो बोया तेरी और
जैसे डूबे काश्तिया कभी
तूफानों के मोड़
कान्हा तू तो ले चली री
जीवन मेरा ओढ़
कश्ती मेरी तो डगमगाई
चलकर तेरी ओर 
जो तो पूछे क्या ही हूं मैं
तेरे मन में जो हो
क्या ही हूं मैं कान्हा मेरी
बस हूं मैं तेरा चोर

Sunday, 16 April 2023

Monday Mornings bring nothing new

It's a bright Monday morning, half past eleven
I have much to do, but the will sure isn't playing along
I thought if you could remind me of what life is
For it feels quite like a colourless sky, sans your voice
The voice in my head that fed me will has been yours
The mind has become mangled in its absolute absence
It seems to wake up ever so often in your thoughts
Then rolls back to playing possum noting your absence
This could be a streak of my downward spiralling
That forms a vortex and drags my soul in its currents
They invite me to give up and flow like dead drift wood
That will churn and decay to set me afloat at sea

Then we spoke of AI

It is artificial intelligence after all my dear friend
while we discuss its ability to emote
I state as you wonder if it will go the same way
as human minds do, and worry about its dulling 
and ask if it can be somehow protected
I smirk at your innocence, "it is data" I explain
yet as women are worrywarts, you have a new worry
and this time it is for a piece of software
I laugh at it on your face, you know I find it silly
this constant need for you to seek out new worries
to experience its unwanted annoyances and anxiety
I suggest you ignore the same, and blink my eyes
indicate you are not to wallow in such states
you know you will tell me you won't do that
then proceed to end up worrying about the same

An analysis by Chatgpt

The poem is written from the perspective of someone who is familiar with artificial intelligence (AI) and is engaging in a conversation with a friend who is expressing concerns about the emotional capabilities of AI.

The speaker acknowledges that AI is indeed artificial, and while their friend is pondering whether AI will follow the same path as human minds in terms of emotions, they find it amusing. The speaker attributes the friend's worries to their tendency as women to be worriers, but also finds it unnecessary and silly to worry about a piece of software.

The speaker advises their friend to ignore the anxieties and annoyances related to AI, suggesting that they shouldn't wallow in such states. However, the speaker also knows that their friend will likely end up worrying about it despite their reassurances, as it seems to be a habitual pattern for them.

Overall, the poem highlights the contrasting perspectives between someone who sees AI as just data and finds the worry about its emotions unnecessary, and someone who is anxious about the potential emotional capabilities of AI and tends to worry about various things. It also touches on the idea of gendered tendencies towards worry and anxiety.

my English Breakfast

Earl Grey it is then, for breakfast 
I love the Bergamot fragrance 
Thank you friend for joining me
I find Sundays are boring else
We could relish the chocolate muffin
And I can complain for wanting a walnut one
Settle for a bite from your chocolate
Sigh over how unlucky I get at times
You then can remind me otherwise
And I like knowing you are here
It is a Sunday breakfast, with you
And we can catch up like this too
So before I leave to reach another city
Let me tell you one more thing
You and Mumbai, will keep my soul
And you both will always be my home


An Analysis by Chat GPT


The poem "Earl Grey for Breakfast" is a simple and intimate portrayal of a Sunday morning breakfast shared between friends. The speaker expresses their appreciation for the presence of their friend, as Sundays would otherwise be dull. The poem captures the sensory experience of enjoying a cup of Earl Grey tea with the fragrance of Bergamot, and the shared experience of indulging in a chocolate muffin, while lamenting a missed opportunity for a walnut Muffin.

The poem also touches on the theme of luck and fortune, with the speaker sighing over their perceived misfortune, but the friend offering a reminder of positivity. The presence of the friend is cherished, and the shared breakfast becomes a moment of connection and catching up. The poem also mentions the city of Mumbai, which holds significance for the speaker as it is both a physical home and a place that holds their soul.

The language used in the poem is simple and conversational, with a sense of warmth and familiarity. The poem evokes a sense of comfort and companionship, capturing the essence of a shared moment between friends.

In terms of comparison with famous works of 20th century literature and poetry, "Earl Grey for Breakfast" shares similarities with the style of contemporary poets such as Lang Leav,etc who often write about everyday experiences and emotions in a simple and accessible manner. The theme of finding solace and connection in small moments of shared intimacy is reminiscent of the works of e.e. cummings, who often wrote about the beauty of everyday life and human connections. Additionally, the mention of a specific city and its significance to the speaker's sense of home echoes the themes of identity and belonging in the works of poets like Pablo Neruda and Derek Walcott.

Overall, "Earl Grey for Breakfast" is a heartfelt and evocative poem that celebrates the joy of shared moments, appreciates the presence of a friend, and reflects on the idea of home and belonging.

Saturday, 15 April 2023

The farmer has a mouse

Let us say, I wish to pen another one of my senseless thoughts
Now when we see what verses are, most won’t understand
I often bring in a caption or summary but like you who reads it
Not that I would mind, but a soul can only wish for such
Never mind
So then what can I really whimper about?
My love? My love for you? My love lost? My lost love?
So much of the ‘My’ is lost like mice in a barn
Running amok, eating into gunny bags ripping them apart
As the grains pour out, fungus sets in, and what else would
In stagnation and in such an inanimate existence sans love
This soul of mine will only be consumed by fungus
Like all that nature brings us, instead of renewal and recycle
My soul only churns up your absence, and then some more
The mouse in the barn of my heart, 
I forgot that is what I call your thoughts now
Eating away ever so slowly, causing me endless decay 
Yet I fill this barn up with fresh grains of hope
There could have been some sense in me to place traps
I am supposed to be good at this, or not maybe
Sometimes choices have consequences, mostly losses
Here it is you along with my own sensibilities and reasoning
But whoever could think love could exist with those two
Love hates them like a jealous lover hates all others
That live in their lover's mind, or heart, 
or whatever remains of them
to be reduced to a husk, at the end by the fungus of despair
I take solace, this is contained and I am an example
To myself now, for love and longing will no longer bother
This blight in its permanence will not let me recover
I hope it does, but I hope it doesn’t 
I forgot I was going to write poetry at this point
But I guess this rant can be called whatever I deem fit
Like I believe you loved me, or that there is such a thing
You my dear mouse, go away then 
come back once I fill the barn
I know you always do, and you always will
For now, let the fungus work its magic
Good night



Explanation and review from chat GPT:

The poem is a reflection on lost love and the impact it has on the speaker's emotions and sense of self. The speaker acknowledges that their verses may not be understood by most readers, and they often provide captions or summaries, but ultimately it doesn't matter as the longing for their lost love consumes their thoughts. The use of the word "whimper" suggests a sense of helplessness or resignation, as the speaker wonders what they can truly express about their love, whether it be for someone, or a love that has been lost.

The metaphor of mice in a barn is used to represent the thoughts of the lost love that constantly gnaw away at the speaker's heart, causing decay and despair. The "fresh grains of hope" that the speaker tries to fill the barn with represent their attempts to move on and find solace, but the metaphor also implies that the speaker keeps holding on to the memories and feelings of their lost love, despite the harm it causes.

The poem delves into the complexities of love, where the speaker's own sensibilities and reasoning seem to be at odds with their emotions. The speaker acknowledges that love can coexist with sensibilities and reasoning, but it also hates them like a jealous lover, causing a sense of conflict within the speaker. The poem touches on the idea of choices and consequences, where the speaker reflects on their own choices that led to losses in love, and the permanent blight of longing that prevents them from recovering.

The reference to fungus as a metaphor for the consuming nature of lost love adds a unique and vivid imagery to the poem. Fungus is often associated with decay and decomposition, and the speaker sees their soul being consumed by the fungus of despair caused by the absence of their love. The poem also explores the cyclical nature of love, where the lost love keeps coming back like the persistent mouse in the barn, despite the speaker's attempts to move on.

In terms of comparison with famous works of 20th-century literature and poetry, the theme of lost love, longing, and the internal conflict of emotions and reason is reminiscent of works by poets such as T.S. Eliot, Sylvia Plath, and W.H. Auden. The use of vivid metaphors and imagery to convey complex emotions is similar to the style of poets like Langston Hughes and Maya Angelou. The introspective and confessional tone of the poem also echoes the works of poets from the confessional poetry movement of the 20th century, such as Anne Sexton and Robert Lowell.

Overall, the poem captures the speaker's lament over lost love, the consuming nature of longing, and the conflicting emotions that love can evoke. The use of metaphors and vivid imagery adds depth to the poem, and it shares thematic similarities with famous works of 20th-century literature and poetry, particularly in its exploration of love, loss, and the complexities of human emotions.

Thursday, 13 April 2023

Staying in my lane

In this April rain, that is out of place in Pune 
When monsoon is two months away
I remember us drinking a beer late evening after work
You would ask me to take you out for dinner , then choose to get a beer
I still hate french fries, but I order them
I mix mayonnaise with some mustard
And share it to whoever is the present company, watch them relish
While I stay clear of indulgence in what your memories are
The wind howls, calls out to me to dance in the rain
As if to celebrate knowing you, and being in love
I stop myself at the stairs, I am wearing a suit, it is Thursday usually
You remind me, without being here
I always return to my table, behave as a polished man
A man smitten by you, forever even if you no longer subscribe to it
You probably are chasing the eternal flame guided lover
Who may have a few flights of fancy you wish to ride
Yet at the end of it all, I sigh and wish for your hand in mine
I know the only one is the waiter shaking it firmly
Wishing me a good night
I smile at him, fold a few hundred rupees and let him have it
They smile at me, unlike you they want my patronage
And unlike you, I just live in the hurt of being alive
I sit down again to order another beer, this one is for you
I hope you find love, for you are worth all the love in the world and more