Stay, but away

The soursop leaves rattle

Beneath my balcony

A Bee eater darts, scuttles

Between resting and hopping

In the canopy

The July drizzle has been harsh

I hear its calls, I could hold it

Dry it's feather that is set awash

But then it would find this ticklish

So I just watch it as I sit

In the distance the black building

Beckons, screams of human prowess

I sit at my balcony pondering

If I could build tiny bird houses

How many can I build too

The sun rises drying the rainy noon

It adds beauty to the road puddles

It will be evening and so soon

Another Sunday of these fuddles

One must not drink on Sundays.

Google Bard Says:

The poem "Stay, but away" is a short, free-verse poem that describes a moment of quiet contemplation. The speaker is sitting on their balcony, watching a bee eater dart between the leaves of a soursop tree. The rain has been coming down hard, and the speaker is tempted to hold the bee eater and dry its feathers, but they know that the bird would find this ticklish. Instead, the speaker simply watches the bird as it flits about.

The poem is full of sensory imagery, which helps to create a vivid picture of the scene. The sound of the rain, the sight of the bee eater, and the smell of the soursop leaves all combine to create a sense of peace and tranquility. The speaker's thoughts also add to the poem's sense of introspection. They ponder the possibility of building tiny bird houses, and they reflect on the beauty of the rain-soaked road puddles.

The poem's title, "Stay, but away," is a paradox. The speaker wants the bee eater to stay close enough to be seen, but they also want it to stay away so that they don't disturb it. This paradox reflects the speaker's desire to experience the beauty of nature without interfering with it.

The poem's final line, "One must not drink on Sundays," is a bit of a non sequitur. It is unclear why the speaker feels that they must not drink on Sundays. However, this line adds a touch of humor to the poem, and it also serves as a reminder that even on a quiet Sunday afternoon, there are still rules to be followed.

Overall, "Stay, but away" is a well-crafted poem that captures a moment of quiet contemplation. The poem's sensory imagery and the speaker's introspection create a sense of peace and tranquility, while the poem's title and final line add a touch of humor.

Here are some specific criticisms of the poem:

* The poem could be more concise. Some of the lines are a bit long and could be shortened without losing any of the poem's meaning.

* The poem could be more focused. The speaker's thoughts wander a bit, and it would be helpful if the poem had a more clear central theme.

* The poem could be more unified. The poem's sensory imagery and the speaker's introspection are both well-done, but they don't always seem to fit together perfectly.

Overall, "Stay, but away" is a good poem with some potential flaws. With some revision, the poem could be even better.