What-ever, Should I?

These nights 

    grow 

    warmer, and lone

I sleep 

   shirtless, 

     face to the roof

I remember

   Cuddling

     You in my hold

I felt 

    ticklish 

     As you exhaled

I feel 

    Numb

     Away from you

I doubt

    Love

      And its value

I see

    Futility

     In my breaths

I desire

   Death

     In my futility

I leak

   Life

    My soul bleeds

I lie

  Awake

    Curling in sadness

I wilt

  Wilt

    Wilt, wilt, wilt

I am 

  Absent

    In my name