Burn with rage

Let anger light your path
Burn fierce and brighten
Lead you through your quest
Let it not burn your soul
For the strongest of the forces
That life has given you is in rage
It is nothing short of proof
Proof of your passion
When what you seek is not met
It shows you the road
To wanton destruction
And towards reach
Pay heed to the latter
For the first is a crowded road
Kings and men have strayed into the first
Few have walked down the other
Those who have reached know
Anger is your greatest ally
Go with rage, go with fire
Light the world
When you reach , look back
Look upon, look deep
Smile and forgive
First yourself, then others.

Down the road

in the subtle glow
of the rainy sun
let me recount, seeing you
and as we walked down the road
amidst the crowd
did you see me, watching you
as i folded your umbrella
did you not see me struggle to wrap it
and did you see my gift of gab vanish
as your laughter soothed my running soul
maybe , maybe not
yet , in such rainy days
i remember writing your names
on a window pane, moistened by the rain

Why would it matter
When my mention of a name hurts you
When you were in the arms
Of another, ignoring me
Yet when I reached out to you
You told me I am your all
And when I never let anyone else close
You brush it away with disregard
When he stole a kiss
It was mine that he stole
When you stole my soul
It was mine that you stole
Yet when I stand
Amidst this storm of sadness
Of your longing
You ask me why I mentioned a name
A name that doesn't even register
And you disposed off my day
A day spent in the agony , of your missing voice

Trainers

After those long hours in wake
When the eyelids want to embrace
The mind has questions
The heart has no answers
Hours spent in a desperate push
To help some do better than others
Yet within it seems empty
A shell of their former self
So many dreams that have faded
Shunt, destroyed yet helping others reach
And a vacation is spent in an agony
For all their dreams are long dead
The class rooms, their mecca
The markers their voice
The souls that come and go
Are but a metaphor
Of their pipe dream.

Matter and state

As each bit of you dances in a wave
Let each bit of mine
Let the distance be a universe
Let my love and yours be our quantum entanglement
Divided by distance
Yet in synchrony to all changes
Where we are matter
Where we matter most
Yet knowing we are one
Like her songs and her soul
Let the blue skinned idol blink
For Meera, let her have her peace
Yet let , if this distance can put me in chaos
Let it, for it reminds me of us in it
Let all that we know dissolve
When it is put to a measure
Let there be no spin up or down
And if there is
Let it be yours versus mine.

An ode to Meera

Where does your love die?
After she gives into you
When you make love and want to move on
Yet you talk of love!
Where does love vanish?
When he takes you as his bride
And then all he does seems to just be ordinary
Yet you talk of love!
It is but a misnomer
The word you assume as love
You would not be able to comprehend
Yet you talk of love!
Is love in the offspring?
Is it in your food at the table?
Is it all you have seen as you were raised?
My idea seems to violate them then
Love is the ability to be you
Always and forever , as you
When you are not asked to choose
When you feel no need to either
Like the single string of her ektara
She was one with the one she saw

Awaken me
to the wake you are
And describe the word it is
Tell me what it would be
As you tell me you cannot
I am unable to express either
Is that what synchronous is
Like blank pages
either side of a book
Yet it rattles in the breeze
Like a galloping horse
Only gentler and prettier
Yet with curls
Dark ones, like I had
Beautiful, spell binding
You

Swirl into this vortex
Forget what you know
Gentle yet a chaos
Is that look
As if to not just set to trance
They seem to cast a spell
A spell that may make Medusa
Become a stone
Knowing those eyes
Is knowing death itself
Yet it is such a sight
To stare into
Over and again

There you are
Here I am
Yet, me bleeding
Yet to no end
Only to feel it, every drip
While you don't hear it drip
Into an ocean of a void
Never ever to let you know
How I wish for those chance meetings
And you are lost to your worldly ties
If this is love , in it's pain and glory
Let it be
For I know this as all I have
Let me die unknown

End

What would a fading star wish
Nothing less than its supernovae to remain
Endlessly, tho a few millennia is all it will
Yet a hope is all it has
What does a day seek
As the orange sun plummets
A few moments of visibility
Before the stars paint the sky
Such is what a heart seeks
When it is lost , lost to the wayward roads
Only to see a smile , a pinch or remembrance
A chance meeting and conversation.

Should you even know
What a fake exchange or fight means
You may know the fear within
Of it being so real at some point
Making one afraid, like a child staring at a severed head
Yet you may never know
For I may have never let you
And as such it is my fault
And so let me punish myself
In waking nights and haunting dawn
In eerie dusk and burning noons
Let me remember my choice
Of nothing else than fear and pain
That you love to cause
Then you try to heal it with the balm of love
What monster has I created
And what mouse have I become
Only to be broken over an on
While you rest thinking it is joyous.
In a parting
Where a loss is grief ; worse, like dying
And in a being where I am wilfully submissive to pain
Maybe you will feel what I do
Someday, maybe, maybe not
I was never hopeful of being unhurt.

What good is a calm mind
When the shackles separate us
And you stare into my eyes in a common longing
Yet I stand powerless
That night, was a rendition
In imagery,
that even words cannot express
And it still haunts my heart

Your demons exist
As a shrill reminder
That your escape from reality
Is just a pretence
Of man and God
Neither shall be forgiven
If one has wronged, bid your time
For time sees no bias
It shall arrive on swift hooves
Slashing and screaming
His white horse bathed in blood
Then if you seek mercy
You shall have none
For the end of all would have arrived
And that day, even the floating bed on Ananta
Shall seem to not pacify him
He rests, never asleep, you restlessly grow weary
Only a matter of time
As it turns, his war cry conch
Shall deafen the strongest of hearts.

A bed of arrows

You hold the will to death
Yet you never learnt the truth of the will
In such cosmic chaos of mine
You chose to bear the burden
Putting your word first
Following and seeing it blindly through
How many has thee slain sans mercy
Yet as the dust and blood became clay
You stomped forth on it alongside evil
Only for your desire to seem righteous
Yet you see me as the 'All'
Bow to me at my glance

Seeking to be forgiven, you beg
A warrior without equal, yet a beggar at my feet
You who I could decimate in a thought
Stand before my prodigy
He who is an instrument of mine
You choose to not end by it
Here I shall say to you , son of the raging river
The one beyond possible conquest of mere men
You shall obey, for you suffering of bearing ends today
And this battlefield is thirsty for your blood
Go in peace, let the blood of you flow
Like your mother washes away the sins of others
Let yours wash away yours
Sleep Bheeshma, your time has arrived.

Are you not afraid of me child?
Does not all this blood scare you?
That this is your father on my lap dying in pain
And that I am the one who is as you see devouring him!
Asked the divinity, 
A face of a lion under the roof of snake heads

Afraid? How can I be when I have not known its meaning?
Not known fear in any form since I have seen you
Always, till now when I looked into my heart
Now I am seeing you with open eyes
What is pain now, what is death, what is life?
I am in surrender
Says the child, transfixed at the face of the presence

What is the ‘I’ in me now lord?
The self is no longer what was
‘I’ and ‘me’ are no longer words with meaning 
I feel like a drop of water in the ocean of you
But the ocean scares me, it seems so unstill, ravaging, storming.
How shall I let go and merge into it?
How will I find the ‘me’ when I mix in you?
I asked.

Fear not child, when you fall into me, you are me
And once me you shall not need to find the ‘you’
And then you shall know that you have finished your search
And that your fears are what led you to me
The ocean is calm and gentle; close your eyes that you see with
Open the eyes of feeling; open the eyes in the soul
And you shall see, but only if you surrender to me
I hear the wind speak

I close my eyes; I see the ocean now calm
I hear its waves gentle to the touch, like a feet stepping on lotus
I ask if I can open my eyes now, I hear a ‘yes’
I find myself in the lotus he holds in one hand
Sleeping like an infant, and him watching me, like a mother.

Wait

When you fell into his arms
Did you forget mine
And as you kissed his lips
Did you remember mine
Was our kiss just a faux pas
For to me it felt unlike
The arms that held you were to comfort
To hold you to my soul
Not this flesh
Your lips on mine were heaven on earth
And yet you made me feel otherwise
Amongst all that I felt and embraced
Neither held my soul and satiated it
Yet now it feels swindled
A broken harp
That sings no tune
When you forgot me, did you wish
To forget what I had
When you touched his face, did it warm your heart
For your arrival warms mine
your touch ignites my soul
And your embrace lets me breathe
Your choices bleeds me
In all this blood lust
I await for nothing more
But to let you know
That you are you
Yet , I will wait
For the day when you feel my soul search
To find your true one
To merge into mine
An eternity, should it need

Of love and storm
Just the same as they seem
Yet as the storm passes
Love remains
Broken houses, uprooted trees
Are always replaced and the pain would pass
Unlike love, it never passes
It circles you
With you at its eye
And the world in a spin
As furious as Mars himself would lust
For such chaos is seldom felt

Of love

A child's heart
A lover has, only shattered
Worse than a toy being stripped away
For a child can find solace
A lover doesn't
A child can be pacified
A lover cannot
Not by God, not by things
For the storms of a lover's mind
Is the flux of all that is God and men
Love and loss, faith and debacle
Such a plight awaits those in love
Torn between need and want
Desire and content
Neither ever remains
For the labor of love
Is often lost
Neither kin, nor King, nor kingdom can save
What is deemed lost
Yet men love
For love brings us the chaos
In absolution
Unending
Scarred, yet beautiful

If you wander over
To my home amongst the woods
Touch the daisies as you pass
They want to know who you are
And the old tree trunk
That hangs my hammock
Helping me stare at the stars
Would be happy to be greeted by you
The candle stand would love to know you
And so would the floor, where i often slept bareback
Before I slept finally
Walk bare feet once , and let it feel your presence
And if you arrive before the night
Wave to the sunset
And if you could spare time
Lay down on my hammock
Wait for those little gentle stars
They always wondered who you are
For I may not be around to introduce them to you
But your arrival will need none
I am sure

Emptiness casts the darkest shadows

Beyond the cure of any light

And such can only be known

If you have reached its epitome

When one reaches there

One cannot be brought back

Time won't fill the void

Nor will a substitute

All that remains is the vacuum

It tugs 

Eating up the will to breathe

Aberration

Rid of all sanity
In a volatile cocktail of leaching pain
Like rains washing away the soil
From the roots of the mightiest tree
Only for it to topple over into a river of despair
Driftwood
And no badge, nor destination
Unclaimed and forgotten
Sometimes the bank scrapes it
Sometimes the rocks in the shallows
Yet none to claim it
Such is what one feels at loss
Your insides fall into a void
And all that you feel is numbness 
Swirling into a carcass
Forever dying yet never dead

Yard Sale

Everything must go
For it is out of touch
Nothing here seems to be mine
And the bits that seem , are not
The swollen pride
The rash mind
The device that was me
The sight that held me
The warm glow of love
The cold bite of lone
The wish to be alive
The desire to die
The gentle kiss of your eyelashes on my cheek
The frenzy of your lips on mine
The time of meet
The parting
The past , as we knew it
The present as it presents itself
The future rain drops
The waft of mountain fog
The acrid smell of pain
The little joy that remains
All of it must go
Only , to win you over once more
For it seems like an eon has passed
Though just two days
Here I am, wanting to wilfully breathe again

Poetic justice

Penchant
Of you
In a curdled wail of the soul
Like a symphony of a thousand trumpets
Severing my tendons
With a rusty blade
With gentle hands
As it tugs me closer to a kiss
A kiss of ruse
To hide your concealed knife
And as you lovingly push it deeper
Your words
Sweet as hemlock
Yet I stare
Knowing imminent end
But as an infant
Reach to your fingers
As you hold me close
Hearing my bleed
I touch the blade
It is as beautiful as you
Now warmed by my life essence
Momentarily
Moments pass
And I do too
In a paradoxical paranoia
Of wanting death as you hold me
Yet slain by the very
Poetic justice

Random musings

Broken ,
Won't you set my heart adrift
Aloft, on the dark pools of despair
Won't you send gargoyles to slash and kill
Splatter and gash the red flaming heart
As they skim it of the pool and perch
Won't the pain grow stronger still
And won't you want me to shiver with chill
Spine to marrow, Femur to tarsal, Eye to toenails
Won't you puncture me with tiny pins
And watch my soul ebb from those ruby pools
And as the choke grows
You will cease
For the day has passed
Tomorrow , another bout awaits
You and me
Us, two tugging the same rope
In love and in darkness

Wake,
Manifest as the all there is
Yet be humbled
feel the wind on your face
Let it sing it's heart out
And awe at the sun lit mornings
Dream into the gentle night sky
Those stars are yours
They never could be mine
For I made them for you
When you weary frame
Settles under a shade
Touch that tree
speak to it of your love for it
Hear the dry leaves rustle
Glance upon the stream meander
Reach the mountain tops
Stretch your arms
Touch my face
Breathe in me
And stay mine

You

Check your six
When you walk your path
For on your heels, I shall haunt
And as you stop to gleam
Per chance upon a gentle moment
I shall only place upon you my gift of hurt
Yet only for to know
If you are indeed worth your salt
And then I will punish you worse
Till you keep up the fight
I am not your enemy
I am you, your own
I am the sentience in you
The one that lets you never be happy
For you are my clay
And I am your klin
You will be transformed by me
Yet you will always want to fall and break

Lore

Why should one hold back
Feelings of any kind , that courses through the veins
It is to be sane
And be human, for a lesser one is impulsive
If love is unleashed, without control
It shall only burn
Both parties, into a dust and dysfunction
Only to choke
If pain is unleashed
It shall only claw at the soul
And drive one to death
In its unbreakable grip
If jealousy surfaces
It can only be a fall from grace
In the eyes of the self and the other self
Ending in a pool of hurt
So beyond all possible
I choose to refrain
For I know my letting go
Brings only loneliness

Corrode

If the edge of the earth were
To be an end for those
That hold me dear
Why do I push those over it?
Is this the Meera I am
Or is this the defiant arrogance personified as Drona
Is my heart, a Karna, in the swirl of the obsession of perfection
Yet tied to chains of my own truths
Or is it just the obsession
To warm in the glow of the pain
Of all I hold dear
Or , have I transcended to a realm of pure
Of pure evil
Beyond saving
Or is it again me not letting go
Of all I know is wrong
Yet it's allure casts a grip;
I seem to flow with
This was not the me, this is not, this cannot be
Yet between the want of being kind, i wander
In a realm, a fabric torn that shielded my heart from such  destruction
Or do I love my fall from grace
Yet why do I pull my self to do what is right
Yet knowing, this is all a false proposition
Am I dead already, yet I seem to convince me otherwise.

Fade

I have been there where you have
And we both have nothing but misery
When the bundle o fur and joys faded
We had no one to fill the void
She was but human
More human than canine
Yet she made us 'grown men' cry
Even when we have faced what we deemed worse
In this hour of your sadness
Remember , i share the moment with you brother
She was our's , more than that you wer her's
And such love can never be felt again.

Strong memories

Those leaves that rustle, and all they do is sing melodies
Often forgotten ones, like those of  childhood songs, sung when my heart had no qualms
Where summer brought not just sunlit evenings but mangoes on trees
And rains were the season of roasted corn on charcoal
As little , the little we could, we met , in class, after class
And that year is still as fresh in my mind, like the taste of a fresh brew of barley and hops
The sight, of you were not a wonder till you were around
But began to seem so, when I moved a 100 miles away
Yet you never knew, for I never knew either, You and me were both juveniles
The only thought besides the fog and morning haze I recollect to date , you
Now no longer a possibility of seeing, if yes minus the haze and fog
The light drizzle of those mountain rain, the gentle cold and calm
Yet in my mind, I see it all
Annealed as one
A sight I never want gone
Of closed eyes, yet most times I try to see it as childish
Are we not all still the very child, we were?
And then the age passes brings forth my current, currents of the flow of this very reality
That tug, and I in this duality
Exist, yet never forgot, not that I will, but if old age does catch up
And Alzheimer's steadily takes it toll
I wish it leaves your memory untouched
For it reminds me, of being in touch
A hint of my inner child
And as such, the peace of knowing.

Thoughts into poetry

Does time dilate when you are far away or does your clock just stop being away from me
For to me you are away longer than your perception of time
Do you stare at the sky asking for directions like me
Or like me, look away in fear, of being alone , without you in the grandeur of the starry night
Yet these may be just a measure of materialism
Are you and me  strangers to such thoughts, when they are so profound
When dawn, i wish for dusk
Do you wish for dawn when I wish for dusk
Like being tidally locked
Hoping to draw near to a time for our meet , knowing it is longer than either of us accept
Such is still true, and i still wander, curled up in my bed
Knowing you mirror me doing the same as you sleep
Does the universe conspire against you, do you think if it is still
Like I doubt, it does against my vehement wishes of wanting to catch your glimpse
Maybe we both do
Maybe there is no you
Maybe it is me, just you, in a parallel universe, a mirror of my soul

Konark

Where were you all this while
When my insignificance mattered to me
As I lived by watching myself
Grand, above the divinity

And as Meera, I stood before you
Crying like a child
Unable to understand, your grandeur
In tears

As I tried to capture your existence
My soul leaped away
Asked me if I could
And I felt humbled

For such is your existence
As I saw you, I felt you see me
My sight has no guts to stare
Yours peered into my heart

I walked to you
Sans the pseudo brilliance and tact
Abolishing my fears and will
Surrendered, such is your presence

Walk

Stare at the sunlight
For the shadow will always follow
Look at the path to walk
The 'walked on' will be left behind
Seek the fruit
The toil of the gardening shall fade
Rise,
The starkness of the failure shall set
As the bright orange turns to black
The black shall fade to orange
When you walked and fell
You picked up yourself to walk again
We are always the infant
For the earth is our mother
Always here
Holding your hand
Breathe
Feel her gentle hands warm your cold

Some Assembly Required

And if i had an unbroken heart
You would have broken it
It is now a jigsaw
So you nor time can break it
Call that my defence
Call it my fear
For I never have let it mend
Instead , made into a puzzle
For all that I am drawn to
Only manage to break it is what I knew
Here again
Scattered , this time again
Only as a puzzle
Though the edges are not sharp
Makes picking it up
Putting it together easy
You walk on, away
I am good at arranging this unmarked puzzle
Of my heart

Come with me
you need to see
The carefree breeze
Over the great blue sea
The sea churns at its mere wisp
Like your heart did in love's grip
Where is the red in your blood gone
And has the winter chilled your soul
Yet such is a momentary passing
For you will write over and again
Of these valleys and valets
Wallets and volleys
Winds, and wind chimes
Seas and good times
And then you will warm up
So come, start,
Let disconnectedness be your Muse.

What if I could choose
Where shall I rest my face
When I breathe my final one
Let it be in your hair
For they are the very essence
Of all I have dreamt of
And so shall be a fitting journey's end
They are my rain clouds
They are the shade of my noon sun
They are the scarf of my winters
They are, for they are yours
As I am
And as I will be
Until you choose to forget me

In a crossfire of death wish and wanderlust

If to die, where
If to roam, where
For I want to sleep
Underneath the stars
On a hill , breathe my last
But so do I want to , on a beach
And on the bank of a gentle stream
And the walkway of a forest, amongst tall trees
But you die once, and such is the tragedy
Living was good
Yet all it gives my mind is annoyance
Of being made to be , what I am not
Or being made to do what I won't
But is that not dying everyday?
Yet in a not so serene setting
Why not choose to die
Why not die , in bliss
But, so many places to want
Yet only one , i can die in

Yesterday was

As you sit and ponder
Do those moments mean anything
They did not , they won't
The time has passed
Yet you seek to rake the past
Does it make you happy
Does it make you sad
It doesn't
It is just a fading memory
It is the ash of the wood
That kept you warm and is of no concern
Such is the past
If you choose to revel in it
You are trying to burn ash to keep warm
Hasn't
Won't

Away and beyond

When I let you be the center of my world
You wanted more than I could bring
Now when I gave up my world
You want to walk my trail

I am amidst the stars now
A comet in my own right
You are just a planet around Sol
Yours is a few million miles
Mine light years

On my journeys if we cross paths
I shall shine on you
But briefly, and fade into the darkness
For we drifted apart a long time ago

So spin about in your periphery
I got worlds to pass by
And some day, I shall dive
Deep into the sun, yours maybe
Until then, remember the parting
Or don't

Harvest

You tell me of wanting
To touch the periphery of ecstasy
And roll back
As if I was some mistake
When you kissed
Did you kiss me or was it your cravings
That you forgot who I was
I didn't, but I did for your moment
As you lost yourself I found me
And yet you never did
Was that a dream
Or was that a reality
Neither would matter for it was either
As you held me close
I wanted to know
And you said I was him
Yet when you awakened
I was not, was it
Those are better left unanswered
For I seek no answers that yank at your heart
I seek your soul, your heart or your body
Is nothing compared to my desire

What brings me here
To such forsaken
Where there is nothing but anguish
Maybe its a need
Here all that discriminates all from me is hops
Yet
Am here
The music louder than damnation
The people worse than despair
Yet for a touch of liquid gold
I am amongst them
Each of purpose
Most lost
And the girls woo
None can woo me
For my heart is not so easily enticed
They are a fact i am alien to
I lost my longing to be human long ago
And here it is not human
Human is not despair
Human maybe want
I left this a long time ago
It is not hell nor heaven
To me it is just a walk

Me

You are me
I am me
The sky is me
The earth, the wind too
She is me
He is me
The thought is me
The feelings, me
The tears
The cry
The laughter the joy
The deceit
The coy
All that slumbers
All that makes me wonder is me
Time is me
The stars are me
Your fears are me
Your anger is me
When I am with these
I am alone
For when all is me
There is no you
Why is this emptiness
Maybe that too is me

Rise

She held on to me
Trembling in passion
As her lips touched mine
Dissolving my sanity
Like a drunk wolf
I was lost in her touch
And as she called my name
I didn't want to be in my senses
Such was her spell
Her eyes were starbursts
Consuming my control
Devouring my soul
In such a fancy
I pushed her to the wall
As we kissed the walls of shyness melted
She transformed me into a phoenix
Rekindling the fires of my passion

Touch

I want to touch her with my words
Before even a finger is laid upon
Make her pores come alive
Make her curl up in madness
If my words touch her
I want her to feel wet in her feminity
And her skin should light up in a flame
And burn away her worry

Revision

Let me be, in this dream
Surrounded by you
Clothed in you
Covered, all over

As every pore of you awakens
As your soul screams
In a hunger, so profound
In lust, insatiable ruthless mad love

Let me witness your mind then
Lost in the frenzy
Seeing the lights sparkle
With open eyes

When I meet you there
Reach out
As you hold my face
Let me hear you, in glee, like a child

Visions

She stared into my eyes
In that dim firelit room
As she leaned on the wall holding me
In a kiss i could not break away from
Her skin , like glowing steel
As my tongue and lips slid towards her neck
Tasting every inch of her
Like two metals melting together
As i kissed her belly she roared
Just a shade shy of a tigress hunting
And held me closer like a second skin
Fading into one , as she wrapped herself around me

Let me stand witness
To the water spraying in droplets
Carrying your essence
As it bounces off your skin
And let me taste the water that runs along you
As it touches your lips
And fades its shade, awakening my hunger
To feel them on mine
As i hold you close
Your skin on mine
Let me forget my soul
As i lose my mind
Let there be nothing between us
Except the touch and feelings that ate held so tight
Unleashed into an explosion of passion
Let me burn , in such an embrace

Under these rain clouds
As I hold you close
There is a parched heart
That yearns to be drenched
Let me drink the water running down your face
As they drip down your lips and chin
As I hold you close in my arms
Lost in the scent of your skin

Lost

Where is me
A question I face each day
I am all you want me to be
A little less sometimes
A lot more other
Between these moments
Does any moment occur
Whence You ask
Who I really am
I miss me, being all else
My self, of wants and desires
The very I subjugated to be with you
You have had all you wanted, almost
Whilst I remain nothing but a shadow
A reminiscent me
A faded shadow
Long dead, buried in the ashes
The very ashes of everyone's needs

Is dying so hard
I have seen so many do it
Asleep in awesomeness
Yet never to wake
I have been there once
I came back
I regret the decision
Can I undo the same
For all life asks is more
From my empty pockets and will
Can I rest in the Everglades permanently
And not see another dawn
When I have nothing to offer
And all I have given is worthless or deemed so
What more have I to offer
Shouldn't my exit be fair


The AI version

Is dying so hard

To see so many go

Their bodies at rest

Forevermore to slumber

I too have faced death

And returned from its grasp

But now I regret

That fateful decision

For life demands more

From my empty hands and soul

Can I not rest forever

In the peaceful Everglades

And escape the dawn's light

When I have nothing left to give

And all that I have offered

Is valued not or deemed as such

What more can I offer

Is it not just to depart this earth

Play

Fair game she said
If you like games
Can you win she asked
A question I cannot answer
All players pay
What more is to say
Than my life of heresy
And heresay
I have
I have had
I have always
Yet this time I folded my cards
Winning was too mainstream
I said i cannot win
Is that submission
Or is it the want of loss gnawing at my heels
Neither shall matter
My mind likes games
I am the game
And yet today
I am not

Birth

Let's burn this house down
Throw in a bundle of old memories
While its embers glow
Let me ask how you plan to live

These are the very you, clasped together
A fortified heart , moats and all
They broke you so much so
You outgrew the need for reaching out

Now at this inferno, look at me
Ask me to release you from this misery
Then be free, fly away from here
From all and everyone you know

Is all you are the sum of your actions
Or have you faked all you really are
Those questions no longer needs answers
Be born, be reborn

Deceit

The sins of the mind
Each graver than the last supressed
And one calls such morals
So much , like folklore
Of pain, treachery, lies and deceit
Such is the mind
What is pure
Is such a trance possible
Or is it a concotion
Brewed in the mind yet not disclosed
How does one become such
One never can,
Fear and pain are the masters
The very that own and puppeteer
And all the mind does is stagger
And fall from grace
Grace, a charade
In the mind of man
Built to fool even him
If such is man, why shall one be judged
For it is built on fallacy

Eclipse

Stop these voices
They remind me of my conflict
Between me and what I have become
If the end of me shall arrive
It may not be on swift wings
Yet the fear is not of the end
It is the possibility of not dying
A survivor no longer fears death
His will is no longer overwhelmed by such niceties
He yearns for it, it is passion of being
Through all that is against it
Such is a writer
Relentless in his pursuits
Of creation
And all he seeks like me an end
Will this be or not is not a wonder
It is a choice
Of wanting to know neither
Only to wake up as dust
That disperses in the storm of life

run

Where shall one run
When one is guilty of the death of the self
The soul , plundered by one's own deeds
When the darkest fear of you overtakes
Explodes into one's face
Like a million suns
And yet refuses to burn the now dead shell
You seek a reason to blame
Yet all your reasons are your own
All you are shall no longer matter
For if it had , one shall not be in such a quandry
So at your worst, one seeks death
Yet death will elude
For one cannot die , untill one can forget one's deeds
For to die one has to let go
One doesn't, yet is a fight
An unfair one
Of forgiving the self,
Of accepting one's truth

Wild wandrer

If I wake up today
Let me know
That I can hold you close and feel your breath
As you sleep calm and gentle
And care for nothing of all around you

If you wake up look at me
Let me hold your face and stare
Gently into those mischievous eyes
And then kiss your sleep away

As you complain of wanting to sleep
Let me curl up to you and kiss
And whisper naughty things
And hold you closer

And as the bare skin touch
Let me burn
Of knowing that I have missed you
And this moment may not be permanent
But let it never end

As you leave turn back
Run to me, tell me you will be back
For I will be right here
Missing you deeper with ever step you take

Warp

If one should reach
Yet arrive before or after the foot was set
Would you be here or there
Yet would it matter or shall matter be the same
Is this duality
For the bent fabric is cast
Will I see both ends or both beginnings
If both are not shall it be a journey
Or shall time like a certain chesire cat
Say none of those matter
If both are, have I been there
A stop or a start signals a journey
A fade cannot

Walls

The walls one built will eventually shatter
Yet I lived amongst a barricade
A maze of walls, that kept me going
And then you just walked right through

I never questioned
Never have I ever
Yet , i know I have to rebuild
Only this time stronger and higher

While I may question the logic
Of being in love
I shall not, it serves no better than the conflict itself
Of unquenchable thirst and unbearable pain

The dead see the end of war
But love left me undead
yet in persisting longing
Only to hurt, only to burn

Such is the nature of the beast called love
All it does is destroy
I am on my road again
Gathering my wits

This road to love is a worthy test
On one end is loneliness
On another loneliness
Yet the walk is called for

The choices one makes do not matter
For one does not choose pain
Pain is the lovechild of such endeavours
And you can only cuddle it

Today I will build these walls again
And I know if you ever say the words they will shatter
But , the walls are my placebo
And the bonds of yours are your restraint

You

All that i know
Is nothing
And you are distant
And that is a constant
If this emptiness is my gift
It is from you
And I like always accept
But this absence is pain
If you arrive, and I know you will
Yet you will be away
In a world of your own
Where I do not exist
But like a child I reach out
To touch the sky
And realize
I am short, i will remain so
Yet my mind wants to run
Away to you
Yet I am tied to my own chains
The chains that hurt me
I could break these bonds
But I cannot, for you do not want me to
I cannot be free
For my prison will keep you happy

Some things are like a sonnet
Played on wind chimes on dark nights
When all is calm, in a gentle breeze
As we sit , my drink and I
What does my glass remember
Is it of those earlier times
Or is it staring back at me
Unsure , just like me
Liquid gold, froth and cold
As it tingles my senses from lips to throat
As if like me it lets go
And touches my very soul
If my glass should speak
What would it say
Would it smile and remind me
Of gentle times and beautiful company
Of some nights, of jarring music in May
In a club, at a wooden table somewhere
Far yet so near , smiles and conversation
When it had another company like I did
And all we have tonight is it and me

Drifted away

Drift , away from you
Lose the sight of shore
Aloft, no oars or will
To return
Yet in such lone trance
I admit to feeling nothing
Numb, or is my admittance my foolish pride
None of that shall ever be asked
For it ceased to matter
All i do is stare
Into the sky
Blue to red to black to orange
Some whites, some grey
Sometimes it rains
Sometimes it scorches
Is this the gift of feeling
I cannot feel, but I wish to, maybe do
In the facade of all this i laugh
Is that mockery , is it anguish
Maybe just laugh is all i can do
Yet often, you remind me
The stronger I grow, the weaker I will be
All it takes is a mere thought
All it does then is leave me in thoughts
Of some dim lights
Of some wine
And the intoxication has remained

Drift further

Enter this mind
Disturb its chaos
Rewrite it with your images
Let you be the chaos
Let me have no sanity
All that you can extort of my soul
Do
Yet leave it lit
I want to wander
Like a loon
Knowing my fall
Knowing my crumble
To feel the gentle touch
Of your thought
That seemingly destroys
The very me, the very nature of my existence
And walk away
And as you leave
Look into the void
Tell me is it the same
Or better not
Let me search for those answers
Spend a lifetime on it till i build back to ignore the questions
Then repeat
Let the end if me fall into a frenzy of its own possibility
Let it ask me if it is
Is it me or is that your essence
That transforms my finite
To infinity
Chaos yes
But beautiful and unending chaos
Hurt, yet soothing

Drift

Who wants to be
Where your longings lure
Yet I know I will wade on
Through all I made me
And I will stand
Not strong, not as who I have been
But as all I cannot be
Yet wish to
Like reaching out to a fading star
With little hands
Only to know its futility
Yet to not cry
For I lack the feeling or the strength
One as firm as the storm
Yet in all truths
the calm of your absence in its eye
Would I feel the same sans your absence
Maybe I would
I would not feel otherwise
Or otherwise I would not feel
Yet knowing it as unwise
I do
Maybe it is to be such
Or is it you run
Like I
We are both the same
You or I
Never 'and'
Yet maybe
Such wanton thoughts
Are the senile side
Of who seems like a void

Somethings pass

What are you
But a bird in a cage
Where do you fly
For you remain right there

And what shall you sing about
If not about your dreams
Yet these moments mean
Or maybe you seek so in them

Beneath the blue
As you sit and wait
You see the shadow of your cage
A strong one , omnipresent

One must fly
If one must
Of forsake the dream
For all a dream does is bring pain

In the endless wait
If you ask how long
Maybe forever
Yet if you are pressed for time
Count the stars in the sky
Those can burn and fade
But I can outlast each
For I do not wish to own
For owning love is not love
My longing is but irrelevant
For my longing cannot
I crave for you to want
Your wanting may take a millennia
Yet like a mad man
Looking at the still water
I drown
For I seek nothing more
But knowing you are mad
If not, to wish you were just as

If
Only
And if
Maybe so
But, then
Maybe not
Maybe
And all I see
Is an empty table
Not me
Not you
For my mind
Dwells in yours
And your mind
Drifts away
Yet your lips lie
Maybe
Maybe not
And here my blood
Mixes with alcohol
Tries to erase my thoughts
Fails for I forget
My mind is lost in yours


-------------------
July 4 2014

The rain drops on my window panes
Have long dried up
And the sky is a clear blue
Inviting to flight
I still wish for the rain

The rain seems to bring
Nothing , but an gnawing absence
Of your voice and eyes
And in it's stillness haunts
Mocks my soul

Why is the blue so irrelevant to the grey
Or the bright morning such a passé
And why does the derelict mind seek
A corner, away from the light
Maybe the light is in your imagery
Maybe, i am lost into that darkness.

Would the light of my eyes show
I so want to, yet is otherwise
I hold to what i perceive
Yet the perception is a faux
This faux heals me, bleeds me till i am hollow
It kills me, yet makes me believe it doesn't
Hands reach out
Hands retreat
As if it is a mist
Disappearing at the first light
Like a cowering fool's dream
And i wish for an escape
Yet i hold my ball and chain dear
It's a fallacy
I am so used to
My tears, cease to run
They never would ,for i have frozen them
I want to let them flow
Yet i fear the flame of wanting

Only if you were real
Like your thoughts seem to be
And all that could
Seem to have evaded my memories
Barring you
And your youthful touch

Hold me in your arms
Let the dew dry
And the flowers wilt
The trees , let them die

I long for your kiss

But is that such a wandering!
Must be , maybe not as much
In and amongst the fog
the brook and the howling valleys

I remember
Like yesterday
Like a vagabond, have I searched
And when i found
I found
What i found, was not as you
As you were

Yet your strawberry lips
Call me,
Remind me of the sweetness of your kiss
Of your caress
And your eye lashes on mine

Stillness
Dark, yet bright like a thousand suns
When it shall be compared to my heart
Would you be here?
Hidden
Amongst the infinite

All along the sandy shore
Where you and the waves lash
Or not, in the crimson dome

I miss the sweet taste of your skin
Like a million sparkles of tangerine
And those eyes
Calling me
Alluring me, to breach my advocacy

Of right and wrong that you compell me to evade
Only to mock
Yet i follow
Persist
In thoughts of you
Some pure some pure lust
Of longing and lone

What shall you choose
My heart or my soul
The heart you froze
The soul you made me sell
To the devil for a glimpse of you

I am Consumed
In your wanton lust and longing
Ridiculed by my own
One and all, yet i stray to you

Only , to know
Blue is another
So is red
Yellow and orange are persistent
And await to die

---------------------------.
July 18/2014

Where shall
Would be despair
Who shall
Would be desperation
Who would
Shall be hope
Yet these are terms
Of irrelevance
Could I
A lack of confidence
Can i
A lack of trust
Would i
A disbelief
Dissociated are these for me
One must
Is compliance
One may
Is compromise
One could
Is adaptability
Such are for mortals
The meek and those surrounding
I won't
Is me
I don't
Is me
I
Is me
For all else
Exist,
For me, be me

Let my veil hide my bleed
For the heart wants to fly
Kiss the sun; first ray
Yet my wings bear no wind

For a pair of wings
A gust of wind
As cobblestones
To a beautiful path

I wish to soar
Yet the depth of the sky like an abyss taunts
I fight
Yet i immolate

Now the burn
Has kept me warm
It may be cinders
Yet , warm

I seek no wind now
Yet i hope for
Like a princess
Chained to a tower

I feel grounded
I am
Yet my mind as an avian
Soars those misty blue hues

In descent
From my sanity
What shall i first cross
The barricade of the truth
Convenient ones or faux pas
If to know
One from the other is unknown
Or should it be woe
Endless, and persistent
Tearing at the fabric of the mortals
I oft cast aside
Should i break
Or should i break my fall
On the illogical life
That most seem to live
As them to groan and whimper
Whine of how life left them behind
Shall it be my fall
Or a landing
Shall the ground exist
Shall it be slime
I fear not of those
As the imminent fall
Is the one of longing
That envelopes the rest

If to taste
The nectar of passion
One should
But not with a forfeit
Of sense and sensuality

And if to touch your hair
Should i reach
Touch my mind you must
For the wanderings of lust
Of wanton longing
Brings no feel

For without feel
Shall my skin awaken
Shall i feel the spin
Of a million galaxies
In the sheet
Of an inane

I for one shall pass
For such is my lust
For i seek the twinkle of joy
In the eyes
Of one , who shall understand such

Is that me
Or is that the one to
Or is that nothing yet so much
For in such existence
I fall into oblivion
Only to rise
And fall again
The black below
The blue above
Only seem to further themselves
Only if i could taste
For once the fires of passion
The altar of such
I have passed by
so many, so many more
Yet
I feel the icicles
Of desire
Like A million pins
On my palms
Yet no bleed

Is the stillness of the night
As cold, or is it my soul
In the unmoving vast
Of rain, and fog
Of future and past
If to hold
And to be not
Would it be left
To the mire of a thought

But if to chance
Shall all be let
Left to all , as to come
Would it
Would it be unfair

In such questions
Sears the flame ins

In the dim lit corner
Your eyes twinkle
Into mine
Your hair like a veil shadows my restraint

To feel the warmth of one as such
such a chance encounter
A mind cold, unknown of passion, mine
In flames of melting silver

It i stop to converse with words
Let my touch take over
Would those eyes still look into mine
Or shall they look away

As breath of a million words falls on you
Shall you breathe so to me
And in such an air of passion
Shall you yearn to breathe over n again

Attention,
She demands , the class listens
I ponder
Into illicit fantasies

She looks at me
A Stare, from between her glasses
It invokes lust
Yet i restrain

My skin flushed
My pulse flames
Yet my face blank
Decorum, my mind chants

I could blink
And the eyes would sashay
Into a frenzy
Of her, biting her skin

I could see her heels
As she sets foot on my chair
Commanding
As if Ordering my submission

The head spins
I see it like a kaleidoscope
Each reflecting itself
I lust, and burn, pale faced

All i see
Her, all of
Yet all they see
Is none

I am stilled
In my bolted down craving
I wish to explode
Into stardust

If to know
What life shall bring
Let me brace the waves
Hold my own stern and bow
Let the wind in my sails
And sail

In storms, let me commandeer
Refine me in the swell
In its tidal symphony
Let my heart, spin
Bite fire, embrace,
Fear and conquer it

If to be adrift
I shall float
Into winds
To arouse my senses
Feel the jolt of shock
In the lightning storms

And at the end
When i dock
Close my eyes forever, Let me be,
look into the sea
I am still there
Fighting, raising my sail
To, float into your arms

Let me push you off the ledge
Watch you fall
Into wicked passion
Of lust and craving

Let your eyes famish
Reek of passion
As i hold you
Melting in my grip

For to content
Is not my reach
It is to fan your burning lust
Only then, only to feel you want

You may know passion
In ways other than me
I touch, seek your mind
For the flesh has age, the mind ; forever young

It is red and white
Polka, on the forehead
She is shy
In the arms of a stranger
As his touch makes her shiver
It disarms, yet pleasantly
Only , she too waits
To be
Mixed in sweat
Such so
So much so
And hold him to her
If, as if there is a frozen moment
In unison
Passion, veiled in shy
Yet hunger
In her eyes
His too,
When the look into
And when one closes
Gently
As the moon wanes
Into the dawn
In surrender

If to hold you
In that room tonight
Only to gaze into your soul
Through your eyes
of a surrender
One of the soul
Yet not of flesh
I shall accept
Yet in the fire of such passion
If you may
Wish to be mine
I shall inflame

If to be
Or to say
Is all that the mind was
Would you know
If the eye of the storm was
Was a storm
would it be so
Would it swirl
If the frost was warm
And the hermit knew lust
Would his crucifix be frosted
To the hearth of his belief
Such is not my design
I make to feel
Feel is your choice
I exist, to be known

Between the mounds
Let me plough
As i hear the heart beat
Let me see your eyes , gentle , shy

As i plough the valley
Let the wedge bury itself in you
As the sweat of my brow falls
Let it be on your belly

As a farmer and my farm
I shall plough
Only to till the ground
And mix it with my sweat

When i grow tired
Let me rest in your gentle arms
As the stars rise
Let me be in your embrace

When i am spent
Awaken me again
And remind me
To plough and again

Hold me, to your heart
For i feel restless
A bird , one that never built a nest
For a nest was to me , a prison
I belonged, for so i believed
To the skies
I soared high like the clouds
Only to know otherwise
Each has a place
Each it's destiny
One cannot be
What one hopes, but just be
And i so wish
To be in your arms
Dearest blue sky
I feel no wind, for my wings are broken
Yet my desire looms
And my soul reeks of hope
If i shall fall ,
Let me fall into you

When you feel your soul wander
When the thirst of your craving rises
You will find me, Watching you
looking deep into the light of your existence

You shall not need to ask
You shall not want
I shall know
But i shall not yield

When your soul burns
I shall smile
Feed on your wanton craving
Only to watch you engulfed in flames of your deepest desire

Then i shall reach my hand
Hold yours, whisper my love to you
As you close your eyes
You shall find me, as you

If you should find me pass you by
Know, I have much to do
Than love or miss, or feel thereof
I have a million miles to travel
They are not for you
They are for others that I am a utility for
They are what make me ;me
The life of a few reasons
If you should feel sad
Feel so,
If you walk away
Do
I do not exist to please me
I am alive otherwise

I could be anything
I chose to be with you
I could be anywhere
I chose to walk with you
I walked along , for you walked
I never asked for your care
Nor your love
Neither bound you to me
I wanted you to be free
I was all i was, as I have been
Yet you wanted me to be more
If that is love, remember i never asked for it
If you walk away now, go on
I will be where I am
As I am.
I do not cry, for I never could
I cannot own, for I despise being owned
I am free, of longing, love and desire
I fly to where I please
I live to be me, not what you want me to be
The choice is your's
It always was

To swim, one must learn
To learn, one must want
To want, one must desire
To desire, one must feel
To feel, one must know
To know, one must understand
To understand, one must live
To live, one must swim
Repeat

When the light fades
And paints the earth black
I stand apart
Lost in thoughts of you
Darker than black
In the darkest of loneliness
I can hear the soul cry
Yet you may never

If you would
Know one thing
It is such , mine to bear
In the endless pain
Of knowing I should not
Of knowing i am supposedly dead
Yet i live

Those thoughts of you
Force the living as breath
The pain of longing as blood rushes in my veins
And the torment of absence
Like frostbite on my face

Orgasm
#########
Let me be,
Surrounded by you
Clothed in you
Covered, all over

As every pore of you awakens
As your soul screams
In a hunger, so profound
In lust, insatiable ruthless lust

As i see you mad
Lost in the frenzy
Seeing the lights sparkle
With open eyes

When I meet you there
Reach out
As you hold my face
Let me hear you, in glee, like a child

If I should be lost
And you could never find me
I shall be where you are
Be as you

While you make my earl grey
And wait at my chair
Pour a little over at the window
To make it seem I drank

And when you see my wallet
Yell at me, pretend am standing behind you
Like I always do
And then say , I won't ever keep it in place

Call my number once a day
And then message me how you miss me
And then pick up my phone
And reply, I will see you in the evening

When you go to the sea side
Buy 2 of those ice lollies
Eat them both, with those wide childish eyes
And tease me that I can't have any

If the guys come calling over beer
Pour my glass
Let it sit there, as the conversation goes on
And always pay that tab

For you are me
If so, then how could 'I' be
If I could never be
How could I ever be gone

The scream in my head
A million decibels
Ripping the eardrums of my mind to shreds
Making them bleed
And to say
All this I endure
Is fun at most
But yet grave
Nothing to crave
Nothing to hate
Lost into oblivion
Found in a hay stack
A contrast as wicked
Yet fair
Only to breathe
Till death comes visiting

In the silence
Where i am me, but I know you
Where you are faded, yet i see
Those moments torment
If to express these words
Should mean to offend
Should I or should i not
Are often my battles
Many a battles that i have won
Mean a few i have lost
Those losses have caused grief at large
At the very onset of my expressed thoughts
If one more word fro me
Should offend
Me, you or us
Let this silence swallow my soul
Knead me into nothingness

When winter fell
And covered my palm in snow
I felt one with that lack of warmth
For it felt as dead as my heart

When the stream froze
Trapping in it, the fish and fern
As it tore the souls away
It felt like home, where my heart resides

When the windows frosted over
And shattered the glass
Yet held it together
I could relate to the ominous feeling

The wind , cold and bone chilling as it blows
Feels like my breath
The sigh i release
Thinking of memories long gone

She looked into the gentle drift
As if to wish if it could stand still
To know why it still showed her
Even when, it just floated past
In her gentle hum
In absolute
Of all that she has seen
Yet so much she wants to know
I could reach out
And yet stand by
Look at her as she stared into the gentle flow
As she remained, in such a painting
In terms of feeling
Is it true
Or is it just a scene
Or is it a call , of wanton cravings
Neither shall i know
Nor shall i ponder
Those are what burn a soul
A life , seeks to not burn

One must
If should one
Yet if
And if one
Believe in
In such
For the variables are
Yet are not
Can such be
Argued upon
Yet
Yet again
Prose meets poetry
Yet a verse undefined
And if to be
Shall it, can it
It may not, yet may
Such are musings
And the wanderlust
Of literature
Yet a journey
Most may not agree upon

When the air that fans my soul
Shall stop its swirl
And am seized by the destiny of all life
I shall not fight
For to fight is to deny
My very belonging ,
Of the dust and the ashes
That bound me, to life and as
When I shall still the eyes
Do not mourn my pass
I shall not be away
I shall be
Forever as I have been
In the very essence of all around.

On the landmine
As you place
Your gentle steps
Fear not, to lose today
As the earth turns red
Let our blood turn it red
If you shall face an enemy
See me in him
You have defeated me
You could destroy him
I am your forge
Fail me not
For i would burn
So you can blaze

Wanting
=====================

When words are mere
And darkness is still
When dreams are turbid
And the soul meek
Yet if the body longs to prevail
Is that deemed living

Yet some do
And others choose to ignore
Some feel
Some cannot
A paradox of such latter
I live as

Fear, for all one feels is transitory
Ascension, another faux
Since we all are fixed
Beneath the skies
In insolence of craving

A pity all must end
Yet a want to not
Some are,
Yet under false pretences
Smiling even
Wanting is such a crime

Walk
With swift footing
Like the life you live is a fire of passion
Yet never run
Revisit all the places you have been
Smile
Like today is a fun place to be
Laugh
A bit more than a mad man
Over all that embarrassed you
Scream
With the strength of your breath
Say all you want
All that you have trapped in your inhibitions
Love
Like love is something you define
Let the heart run wild
For this one life is all we have

When your mind wanders into the loon
Share with me no songs of those
For my world is a place, a vastness of insane
You have only touched the surface
Happiness; should one wish to find
Can only be in sheer madness
For in complete idiocy can one be at peace
All else is a binding
I was estranged, if I should be sane
Yet what sanity is defined as by most is inane
I can laugh at what has been, is
Yet never on what could be, for i predict nor ponder
Here is me
In the stillest of my mind
Yet all I project is chaos
Pity others I do, for order is always in chaos

The world is in turmoil
Yet you recline
The waves that drown the world
Arrive as calm water to your feet
The sound of of warrior's call
Sounds to you like your hymn
Yet in all such ad hoc
You seem to smile endlessly
You are a con
Yet you are
One who twists the world
Why should I call you the gentle
When all you seem to do is let things be
Said the novice hermit

Why should I worry
For I cannot change
What is to be, shall
And what shall, has already been ready to
You seek me for the wrong reasons
I am not to solve the defined
I recline, to show you to
For when I let it be
It has to be
You shall soon find me
When you do not want to
For your want of me as of now is a want
Said Narayana to the Novice

Everyone will write
Small scraps of poetry
Of kids that died
In some common everyday massacre
Common yes, acceptable No
Yet they will never teach
Their own kids of sharing
Nor shall they teach
That religion only causes death
For it is human
To compare and fight
Between different opinion

You grow on me
Spreading your tendrils, wrap me in your self
Yet you seek to change what I am
Am I , am I all that you want me to be
I am not, yet I won't try to be either
But you keep at it, like a wave cutting a cliff
The cliff may erode, and then, you wont have that company
Such is your wanton desire
To change me, into your perception
But I will fight
Fight till my last breath evades me
For if I change, you wouldn't love me
Such is your misunderstood irony
If I was anything or anyone else
What would you be, you would be you
Without me, you would be a runner on another tree
But if It wasn't me, wouldn't you miss me
I would, for we exist in such a ruse
Of fighting, yet being one
Yet today, i choose to discard
All you are, for you are not what I wish to fight
I have my own battles
They will be mine, your absence would leave it's mark
Yet, I would care less
For to love, I did
But to fall out of love you helped me
Such, isn't that what should fuel
My death wish filled dark poetry

In some lost wanderings
Where you were the only thought
Seem like a haunt, now
Better lost, even forgotten
Yet you shine through
Like a million suns
Scorching my soul that reeks of hatred for you
Love conquers all
Is just a passe
For my hatred towards you shines brighter
I cherish the coldness of that feeling
And have nothing but discord to give you
For all your trespasses
I have forgiven none, nor forgotten
I abhor the presence of you
As I see you in all I look
Such is the ploy
Of the saddest joke
And yet, I laugh, like a madman
Homeless, for I am not in your so called heaven
Happy, for it caused nothing but longing
When you chose to melt
The hearth itself
Little could I do
But disown
Powerless, yet shackled in you
Wishing death, yet you stand guard

Persistence
--------------------------------------------
The river rages, like a beast
Yet, it does not cease to be a river
It may freeze
It may still
Yet these are just moments for it
The water shall flow
Regardless
If the stillness allures you, remember it's storm
If the storm scares, remember it's calm
Yet, it shall be, all it is
Nothing but a river
You cannot hold it, yet it is there
In you wake
In your dreams
In you darkest moments
In you brightest joys
Just so
It is
It will be, yet most wish to measure
For a river seeks none
All it is , is
All it will be, will
You may pass, but it remains
Like you knew
But , never the same.

Your eyelids close
they trap the moment as you are with me
And open as you look into mine
And i stare back
As you turn away
I want to see you look back
To want me
In the same as I want you
If your lips speak
Let them be to mine
And let me feel those words
Cover mine as i reply
Let not voice be the way
Let it be your touch
Let my heart feel the words
For my ears are open to all

In your self as you see
Do you see what you can be
Only the sunset should touch
Those resting legs on the beach
It may not be wise
To stir such a conversation
But should that mean
I leave, stating a lie
If to hold you close
For a moment , Brief,
Yet to know
You and me
Are just the same side of a coin
One in the shade
One in the light
Yet, let my darkness be
As stilled as it is

If to hold your head and look into your eyes
Yet to know, you are you, and I am me
And that the universe is vast, endless
And all that mattered then is this time
Would you still pay heed
To all that makes you a slave
Or shall you let it be and smile
From a soul to another, existing in different planes

aloft
----------------------------------------------------
I seek diffusion in clouds of smoke
in my cigarettes that eat my time of living
and then I look forth into the grey skies
drunk and staring into the distance
I wish to fade like the smoke does , each time I hold her to my lips
and when I feel her enter my lungs I can feel the pain subside
every five minutes that I lose, the lesser I have to leave
knowing you are away, knowing I am alone
Amongst the million, I seek
solace in the pseudo world create
just to fade into oblivion
as most of my wishes and dreams

K.K's Poem

-----------------------

she fell , while she did she saw the stars
spinning like the dome of a planetarium
all that was her life flashed before her eyes
and then it was gone

her breath gone, her voice silenced
just a motionless corpse, stilled
The ground beneath her glistened red
and marked her , there she lay
still, and yet gone away
When i last caught her gaze she just stared
and the brass ejected into the air
and a noise later there was silence
all that remained is her corpse and my loneliness
You never love your target
you execute them, there was a whisper




=====================================================
KK is a character from my book, who is a killer.

Fore-go

------------------------------------------

Tread amongst the rustling leaves
hear her walking amongst
a youth, nothing to care about
I just wonder at her passing
like the gentle touch of bombax
floating in the summer breeze
like the boats that the children float
beside the pond, in the stream
if to confront her , I ask myself
and if not then she will never know
but if she knew what this heart felt
would she cast a gentle glance
such a risk is too great to take
and since it may be a mistake
To forego her just passing, every now and then
I stand there at my porch to catch a glimpse

I live on

----------------------------------------

i could have been dead once
into oblivion, lost to decay
No hand would have stretched out
none could warm this soul

Yet I survived, a curse, to live
witness the world
watch it turn the knife in my soul
gentle, hurting me yet keeping me alive
such is an existence, one i could abhor
Even death mocks me
if i should ever rise
i have my own ones to being me to my knees
to cry, the tears are gone
to bleed , there is nothing left in the heart
to escape, there is no hope in my soul
to win, god didn't write me that fate
i await, in my prison
just to writhe in pain, whimper in the night
beg for an end
yet i live on

You and I

--------------------------------------------

Solitude has perseverance
And it is catches up quick,
I look, I run but I can only do so much
‘You’ I and the ‘I’ you that left me behind
Which side is the winning line?
Which side is to lose?
Where will I stand if I have to choose?
Shall I dance to my loss for the ones I love have won?
Shall I cry to realize that they wouldn’t care less?
Your dogma, your perception
Your ramblings and musings
Your minds, a cage with a dying bird
My mind a dead cavern, without even that
And when our worlds collide
I shall gently bow down and let you pass first
For all I need to know is you are safe
And all I care is if you can smile

Calling to life

----------------------------------------------------------------

A while has passed, since you passed my way
and the moment seems so strong , the mind holds on
Casting nothing buy a glow of loneliness and dismay
Hear my calling , come my way
Far too long has these days been
and seemingless silence in my ears
they just await one voice, yours, so serence, a fabric of warmth
cover me with those words again
Inside this heart , i harbour your absence
The storm of your absence , wailing in the heart, now hollow
I have known what pain could be, I have been dead for long
you brought me back to life, life hurts again
Confer to me a wish to feel your gentle touch,
Confer to me to see your gentle smile
For i have seen it once, and this greed for living yearns

Blur

----------------------------------------------------------------

I can’t understand
Why this heart longs for you
And if I have to know, it’s been beyond feelings
Scorched, dried and turned to ash it has been

And then you change it
Would you be here , just to mock my love
Have my sins been so grave that I shall be tormented forever
If so why does this heart long for this endless pain
To run away from you and to you am back again
All this while that you fade
Into the dark skies of the night
And wake me up each morning
To crave, to hear you speak, of the weather, of the land, anything
And then to fade again
This heart has called out to you
It has known pain, of losing, of missing
Did you only mend it, give it life
Only to bleed it again?
In my complete surrender
Did I commit my gravest mistake?
The mind that has been stirred
Is at unrest, awaiting a glimpse,
If only; a glimpse of you.

Let Me

-------------------------------------------------------

Let me fall into the sky
And be amongst the birds that fly, soar
But hold me from drifting away
When the storm cloud rises, and the lightning cracks the skies
Let me float endlessly
In the ocean so blue, where the fish swim
Be the anchor that holds me
Steady and still in the unforgiving waves
When you think of me, wave in the breeze
Your essence shall touch me
Keep me warm in your thoughts
Comfort me, when this heart misses you
If you pass me by, perchance that I be blind
Your scent shall let me know
That I am still alive, I shall smile
Knowing you are well
In discomfort, if one shall slip past my prayers
Should it visit you, send it to me
I shall welcome it, down on bended knees
And after all, if I am alone, and you lost to time
I shall look back, to the lake, to the path you walked on
Sear my soul to cast your imagery
Warm my hands, in the flame of your memories

Etched in deep meanings

-------------------------------------

If to walk this earth alone, shall I forever be condemned
And that when I shall pass, all I walk on shall be barren
Into the glorious world that everyone who sees
My eyes are just tinted with these haunting miseries

My original sin that I loved
And that has now borne fruit, unlike those that bring joys
I speak to the empty walls of my heart
Everything about me, an antithesis
Where one finds laughter, I find hurt
The soul now an empty aura of nothingness
And I am bound to like in this existence
When I raise my arms to the skies
Even the wind refuses to touch my palms
And the soil beneath, fails to take me in her arms
The spring bears no bloom in my garden
The brook where I once waited, now dried
The birds seem to never visit, not a robin, not a crow in sight
Nothing has been the same, nothing has changed past that
The moment you left, the last glimpse of you I caught
The will to smile followed you, as you wandered off
In a chance meeting, if you see it, just send it to me
Just point towards my direction
I will know, for the wind shall know that you thought of me
And it shall touch me, passing by. 
 If to walk this earth alone,
shall I forever be condemned
And that when I shall pass, all I walk on shall be barren
Into the glorious world that everyone who sees
My eyes are just tinted with these haunting miseries
My original sin that I loved
And that has now borne fruit, unlike those that bring joys
I speak to the empty walls of my heart
Everything about me, an antithesis
Where one finds laughter, I find hurt
The soul now an empty aura of nothingness
And I am bound to like in this existence
When I raise my arms to the skies
Even the wind refuses to touch my palms
And the soil beneath, fails to take me in her arms
The spring bears no bloom in my garden
The brook where I once waited, now dried
The birds seem to never visit, not a robin, not a crow in sight
Nothing has been the same, nothing has changed past that
The moment you left, the last glimpse of you I caught
The will to smile followed you, as you wandered off
In a chance meeting, if you see it, just send it to me
Just point towards my direction
I will know, for the wind shall know that you thought of me
And it shall touch me, passing by.