Drifted away

Drift , away from you
Lose the sight of shore
Aloft, no oars or will
To return
Yet in such lone trance
I admit to feeling nothing
Numb, or is my admittance my foolish pride
None of that shall ever be asked
For it ceased to matter
All i do is stare
Into the sky
Blue to red to black to orange
Some whites, some grey
Sometimes it rains
Sometimes it scorches
Is this the gift of feeling
I cannot feel, but I wish to, maybe do
In the facade of all this i laugh
Is that mockery , is it anguish
Maybe just laugh is all i can do
Yet often, you remind me
The stronger I grow, the weaker I will be
All it takes is a mere thought
All it does then is leave me in thoughts
Of some dim lights
Of some wine
And the intoxication has remained