Should you even know
What a fake exchange or fight means
You may know the fear within
Of it being so real at some point
Making one afraid, like a child staring at a severed head
Yet you may never know
For I may have never let you
And as such it is my fault
And so let me punish myself
In waking nights and haunting dawn
In eerie dusk and burning noons
Let me remember my choice
Of nothing else than fear and pain
That you love to cause
Then you try to heal it with the balm of love
What monster has I created
And what mouse have I become
Only to be broken over an on
While you rest thinking it is joyous.
In a parting
Where a loss is grief ; worse, like dying
And in a being where I am wilfully submissive to pain
Maybe you will feel what I do
Someday, maybe, maybe not
I was never hopeful of being unhurt.