Paradoxically Me

Here, spinning these Mani wheels 

I invoke a paradox of sorts

Of wanting to be free of longing 

and love, and all of these discomforts

Yet when I descend 

from these misty mountains of North East

I say a prayer to be remembered 

and loved by someone at least

It is an arbiter I seek to find 

one who makes my mind accept truths

of knowing these pangs shall only entwine 

and as such will never bear fruit

Yet when I look into my mind's mirror 

I find it is only my 'self' I see

This is another paradox that I conjure 

and it stays gnawing and rooted inside me

So if this has to come to pass

it has to be by me that I wilfully bind

these fallacies and these flightless thoughts

need not exist deep in my heart

So maybe in this next cycle of bead counting

I shall find peace within my mind

then maybe these paradoxes shall end 

and I will find myself to be self kind