Wednesday, 29 April 2026

Vague

Lampwork beads
 cracked in shipment
  and I had such high hopes
     it broke the violet ones
       amongst all others it could've 
This is a story then
  one of those whiskey ones
    spoken to my other selves
      who seldom converge
         and when they do, they mock
"Here is some glue"
   "why do you worry"
      "order more as always"
        "it always is the case"
          "why not give up?
questions
 of selves
    to me
     Le roi est mort, vive le roi!
       and some other incoherent words 
Pity,
 I cannot for me
"Purple ones are pretty too"
  "alter your choice"
    "there are other colours too you know!"
   "Right", I say to my personas 
Sleep
  others have things too
    your waking is a flaw 
      your banter is not much less
 sleep
   "not that sleep!"
    more such voices
Here then
  poetry
     or somewhat
       stylized 
         burnt
           deprecated 
   stop
 here
now
"fine"
I need to order violet beads
   three extra strands then
     of lampwork beads
       pretty
         "why not order chrome yellow ones?"
 "like in a sunflower?"
 "they are better!"
 "Right" I agree.




**Short summary:**

A shipment of fragile violet beads arrives broken. Instead of simple disappointment, the speaker fragments into arguing voices: pragmatic, dismissive, fatalistic, nihilistic. They can't decide anything because there's no unified "I" to decide.

But at the end, the voices converge. They realise chrome yellow, the colour of sunflowers, represents something resilient and life-giving. The scattered self stops arguing and makes a real choice: order both. The delicate violet beads that broke, and the yellow that grows toward light.

It's a poem about how internal conflict can actually lead somewhere. Not to giving up, but to choosing something larger than you started with.
   

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