So

So what will I do now, 

 Will I repeat my mistakes

follow my sense of control or forsake my logic and reasoning 

will I push the crude raft into the ocean

 built from the debris of the boat, that used to be a ship once

Ulysses has nothing on me

I have my will, 

 the absolute unhinged, brutalist will

   that lights the path to destruction 

  and I got my heart to hold my hand too

  forces of my undoing, working together

  as always

Et tu! 

 isn't you, is me

 and that is what It always have been

   the mind has no respite 

I seek it neither 

 here is rope, enough to bind sails

   or to tie me by my neck