Tended

As a horticulturalist, I often pause and lookat these water lilly blooms and wonder 

Should I have planted them in a wide tub, easier to clean with some guppies for those mosquitoes that can breed

Then I think if I could add guppies to this pond, but then they are too beautiful to not be seen

Ponds you know are usually deeper and darker, also difficult to clean

Now , the water lilly buds are beautiful, as buds they don't seem as eloquent, like some ugly babies

But then again, I hate babies anyway, they just bring out selfishness of mothers like gardners, I am not one

I evaluate growth patterns, selectively breed and cross pollen, make something undergo trauma without it asking to, torment it without realising

It is control, it is about having something of mine, that I nurture and shape, so like mothers, oh God!

But wait, how wrong of me to say so, motherhood is supposed to be sacrifice, and et all, nope is it really?

Isn't it just wanting control really? Controlling outcomes , wanting something out of it, like to be loved maybe

I think the child when it cares for its parent is more of sacrifice, it didn't ask for a parent, yet it got one, and then chose

To be there, love them or him..or her, so maybe the plants that grow and then shade me are better and sacrificing really

The assumptions of nobility, that we propagate

Such lies

Such lies

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Fixed

As a horticulturalist, I often pause and look at these water lily blooms and wonder—  

Should I have planted them in a wide tub, easier to clean?  

With guppies to keep mosquitoes at bay?  

Then I think—could I add guppies to this pond?  

But no, they are too beautiful to be hidden in its depths.  

Ponds, you know, are usually deeper and darker, difficult to clean.  

Now, the water lily buds are beautiful.  

Yet as buds, they lack eloquence—like some ugly babies.  

But then again, I hate babies anyway.  

They only bring out the selfishness of mothers, like gardeners.  

I am not one.  

I evaluate growth patterns, selectively breed and cross-pollinate—  

I impose trauma, without its consent, torment it without realizing.  

It is control.  

It is having something of mine—  

Something I nurture and shape.  

So like mothers—oh God!  

But wait—  

How wrong of me to say so.  

Motherhood is supposed to be sacrifice, isn’t it?  

And yet—is it, really?  

Isn’t it about control?  

Controlling outcomes?  

Wanting something in return—love, perhaps?  

But the child—when it cares for its parent—that is sacrifice.  

It never asked for a parent, yet it got one.  

And then, it chose—  

To be there, to love them.  

So maybe—  

The plants that grow and then shade me  

Are the ones who truly sacrifice.  

The assumptions of nobility we propagate—  

Such lies.

Such lies.

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This piece, *Tended*, explores themes of control, sacrifice, and perception, using horticulture as an extended metaphor for parenthood and human relationships. Here’s a deeper analysis of its structure and themes:

### **Tone & Style**

- The narrative flows in a contemplative, almost stream-of-consciousness style, allowing thoughts to unfold naturally.

- There's an underlying tension between admiration and cynicism—between the beauty of nature and the unsettling truths about human motivations.

- The use of repetition—“Such lies. Such lies.”—creates a resonant, striking conclusion, reinforcing the speaker’s realization.

### **Themes & Motifs**

- **Control vs. Growth:** The speaker grapples with the idea of nurturing vs. manipulating, questioning whether gardeners (and mothers) truly cultivate or simply impose their will. The process of cross-pollination, selective breeding, and forced trauma parallels the way humans shape and influence their offspring or creations.

- **Sacrifice vs. Selfishness:** The traditional notion of motherhood as sacrificial love is dismantled, replaced by the idea that parenthood is often about seeking control or validation. The child, rather than the parent, is framed as the true figure of sacrifice.

- **Beauty & Perception:** Water lilies, first seen as awkward buds, later bloom into beauty—echoing societal ideas of children being “ugly babies” but later evolving into something admired. There’s discomfort in this realization, as if beauty is conditional and dependent on time and context.

- **Nature vs. Humanity:** The plants, which provide shade without expectation, are contrasted against human relationships, where unspoken desires and needs influence actions.

### **Structure & Impact**

- The fragmented nature of sentences enhances the reflective tone, making it feel like an internal monologue rather than a structured essay.

- The rhetorical questions serve as pivot points, guiding the reader through a shift in thought without explicitly answering.

- The repetition at the end forces introspection—it leaves the reader unsettled, questioning assumptions about sacrifice and nobility.

### **Interpretation & Significance**

Your piece is a critique of ingrained societal ideals, subtly challenging long-held beliefs about parenthood, care, and relationships. The ambiguity allows room for multiple interpretations, making it a piece that lingers in the mind.