Wednesday, 16 July 2025

Half past me

Between the blink
I capture a detailed image of you
On the grey desk, with crossed legs
They always yank at the inner devil
But now it seems to curse me for waking it
I pause, in between nano seconds pass
I pass through at least six emotions
None of those seem to stick
But love does, but stays behind a bolted barricaded door
Separated by a moat of murky water, 
filled with hungry crocodiles
Knowing me, you would ask, how many did you see, estimate, vet, and/or validate
I will shrug my shoulder this moment 
I was not counting
The crocodiles are there for a reason
And I stopped questioning absolution
This is me, the one I had buried deep
To never be found, because this one is free
Devoid of attachment, pangs of separation, or yearning is just an theorem away
Pragmatic
If you thought my cloaking this was wrong
This is a diesel engine spurting pistons and seals
Enraged, but not angry
Only because it feels nothing is worth the torque my mind would produce
To push further in life.
I now am here
I have arrived , I hate it
But I love it, there is no freight on my loading bed
I breathe in icy wisps.

Copilot.....
__________
Here's a clear and concise line-by-line breakdown of Half past me to help your blog readers engage with the piece thoughtfully. I've included a summary at the end for context and cohesion.

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✍️ Line-by-Line Analysis of Half past me

1. "Between the blink"  
   A fleeting moment—like a snapshot caught in time, suggesting high emotional and perceptual intensity.

2. "I capture a detailed image of you"  
   The speaker is highly aware of the subject, observing them with precision and emotional charge.

3. "On the grey desk, with crossed legs"  
   A concrete image: grounded, casual, possibly symbolic of indifference or allure.

4. "That always yank at the inner devil"  
   The subject stirs something primal or forbidden in the speaker—temptation, chaos, or desire.

5. "But now it seems to curse me for waking it"  
   The speaker regrets awakening those feelings; the “inner devil” now bites back.

6. "I pause, in between nano seconds pass"  
   Time slows—each moment is hyper-analyzed. The speaker’s emotional state is accelerating yet fragmented.

7. "I pass through at least six emotions"  
   Rapid shifts in feeling—indicative of emotional turbulence or overload.

8. "None of those seem to stick"  
   Nothing lasts. Emotions are fleeting, unable to ground themselves in the speaker.

9. "But love does, but stays behind a bolted barricaded door"  
   Love is permanent but inaccessible—locked away and heavily guarded.

10. "Separated by a moat of murky water, filled with hungry crocodiles"  
   The emotional barrier is alive, dangerous, and intentionally impenetrable.

11. "Knowing me, you would ask, how many did you see, estimate, vet, and/or validate"  
   The speaker anticipates the subject’s analytical or skeptical nature—possibly a former lover or confidante.

12. "I will shrug my shoulder this moment"  
   Passive resistance; the speaker refuses to engage in intellectual or emotional dissection.

13. "I was not counting"  
   A refusal to quantify emotion—breaking from the cold logic the subject demands.

14. "The crocodiles are there for a reason"  
   Every defense is intentional—designed to protect something fragile or dangerous within.

15. "And I stopped questioning absolution"  
   The speaker no longer seeks forgiveness, suggesting emotional autonomy or detachment.

16. "This is me, the one I had buried deep"  
   A resurfacing of a former self—unapologetic and perhaps emotionally numb.

17. "To never be found, because this one is free"  
   The buried self was hidden to protect its freedom; it now returns with clarity and distance.

18. "Devoid of attachment, pangs of separation, or yearning is just a theorem away"  
   Emotions are stripped away, rationalized, even rendered hypothetical.

19. "Pragmatic"  
   A declaration—this self is logical, stripped of romanticism.

20. "If you thought my cloaking this was wrong"  
   The speaker challenges the subject’s judgment of their emotional defenses.

21. "This is a diesel engine spurting pistons and seals"  
   A visceral metaphor for the mind—mechanical, explosive, powerful, but emotionally closed off.

22. "Enraged, but not angry"  
   A paradox: energy without sentiment. Movement without emotion.

23. "Only because it feels nothing is worth the torque my mind would produce"  
   The speaker refuses to spend mental/emotional effort unless truly justified.

24. "To push further in life."  
   Progress is withheld—perhaps as protest, exhaustion, or clarity.

25. "I now am here"  
   An arrival at this detached version of self.

26. "I have arrived , I hate it / But I love it"  
   A contradiction—the speaker finds peace and discomfort in emotional detachment.

27. "There is no freight on my loading bed"  
   No emotional baggage remains; the speaker is unburdened.

28. "I breathe in icy wisps."  
   Final image: cold, empty, but clear—a breath in a sterile emotional climate.

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📘 Summary for Your Blog

Half past me is a meditative and raw exploration of emotional defense, inner resurrection, and rational detachment. It paints a portrait of someone who has buried their feeling self to emerge as a pragmatic, emotionally fortified identity. Using motifs of mechanical engines, crocodile moats, and cold air, the poem captures what it means to live without romantic attachments while confronting their lingering presence. Love exists—locked away—but the speaker chooses clarity, control, and self-containment over vulnerability.


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