team kill

She whizzed past

From her smoke screen

In a hurry

As if to avoid my touch

As she went she unleashed a swarm of torpedos

They gently hit my broadside

Aah , her touch 

So gentle yet strong

She let the sea drown me

She was my own Storozhevoi

She swept past

As my aft guns were turning

She got me good

And I watched her wreak havock

Amongst the seas

Purity

There are no demons

Other than in tablets and scripture

If at all there is

It is the one that has written it as so

In the hearts of humans 

Lies dormant, darkness

In the dogmas, they paint pretty pictures

Of morals and deeds of saintly nature

Yet the soul knows

What it has spun, in its momentary lapses

Of vile and putrid filth

That always lashes it's shores

Yet, the audacity to call another evil

When their own existence is nothing less

There is no lesser in this

Only purity

A pure in such is a better soul

Than an impure at this impurity

Both, are human, both its breeding

And as it unleashes in fragments

Of sterling egos, staunch beliefs 

It is all but easy to see

For the unhastened mind

For it always stops to hear

The evil a heart harbours

Straws

I left it behind
It was the hat we made of straws
Whilst in the mountains, roaming as free birds
In love, so-called, if it does deem being named
It had no purpose
Not anymore
For it was gone, it was lost, or maybe just forgotten
Would you ever remember, as I did?
How many straws did each need?
I would, I had it drawn, meticulously
It was over-engineered,
I had to compensate for the gusty wind
So that your eyes wouldn’t water
You wore your contacts
Those were at best an invitation to discomfort
In the cold wind,
Around the smoky fire, atop the mountain
I would have hated to see your eyes being watery
Here we are, at a passing
You at your side of an opinion
Me at none
I never did have one to condone or comfort
And yet we fought
At times over my lack of bias.
You asked me then, why I burnt the hat while leaving
I had smiled and said
Maybe the ash will scatter amongst the wind
Remind me of you, should you ever vanish.

At the edge of waking

Another drink?

Maybe it will help to melt the ice wall

Holding your fires of wanting to be loved

As it would mine

Or let us pretend this tea is just as good

As we uncork a wine of conversation

Pour me some

I will pour you some

Let us sit with , back to each other 

Leaning , as I let you feel you can lean on

As I lean over yours between talks

And at some point we may just lie down beside

Look each other

Talk of being separated by a thousand miles or more

Yet, of knowing 

Of feeling today

Let me feel your hair on my face

As your lips touch mine, not in a kiss

But just to touch them

As our breath meet

Let me kiss, hold your face in my hand

Feel me melt, as you melt into me

As the morning arrives

You shall be gone, at such let me count

The creases ony bed sheet

Wrap them around me again

Feel you holding me again

hypochondria

Where but here, have I forever been

Broken, as I thought

Hurt, as I bought

Bound, held , imprisoned in such a palisade

Afraid, of wilt

Reluctant, to bloom

And the momentary lapses of reason

Whinging, reticent, in constant retrograde.

Lost, In all my thoughts

Locked, out of smiles

Retracted, out of bounds

Whispering, confused, stuck in haze

When her water broke

She pushed me out

Held my hand, held me close

I recollected such an occurrence, again

This was time

Mothering me, dragging me out

Locking me outdoor, subjecting me to life

Breathing, into me, onto my face, Waking me stark.

A Sparrow's chirp

Sharp yet gentle

A generic bird

To warm my heart

And then fly away

Then to return next morning

Like an endless loop of ecstacy 

Waking up my passions

 warm my blood

Awaken the human

I miss days I held you

I miss the days waiting to

They never fade

They are me

Chase your mythical rabbits

Run amok until you tire and lament

When so, run right back

To me

For you never left

You need not ring the doorbell

Walk right in

Holler for a coffee

I will make one for you

Teach you to make one for yourself too

And you will say it's pointless

When you dance to the loud music 

Trying to bury my presence 

Numb it

Remember, the music will stop

At some point

Yet I would not

I will wave my hands

Gesture as one calls a child

Run to me, I will hold you

Make you feel comforted.

Know

Fly

Stay steadfast

Godspeed

She painted the skies 

Made my clouds fluffy

Held me to the edge of my seat

Sang to me the song of the wind

As she built these beautiful worlds

She asked I only keep her running

She just ran 

And now she ran out of breath

She is cold forever now

In a place where she needs no breath

Where her music won't be heard

And the way she held my view

Spanning 3 monitors

Beautifully

Gently

She is gone

My 290x

Across the Arabian Sea

The kasav has creased 

From her wait at the door step

She sits haunched 

Looking to the road

Minnie needs a new phone

Sanju wants a bicycle

Both are the hours that is added to Babu's clock

He had to be home

The sandy shores and desert dunes had become boring 

Yet he will clock those hours

Meera will watch her tiny wrist watch

But sit at the door step

Awaiting Babu's return

She stares into the horizon 

Babu is staring too

She is at 2:30 in the afternoon

For Babu it is 1:00

The sea winds may carry their sighs

Of missing, and hoping

To hold each other 

Soon, maybe soon

Reviews and rewrite

Why does one express in poetry

Only to dilute it

Is it like using toiletries

Scrub clean and smell good

Where is the need to deck coming from

I know of not such a need

Brazen and only to be read and misunderstood

Or understand, I care for neither

This is not my memoir or obituary

Written on parchment paper

For I am no king nor leader

I woke today, knowing full well

That I cannot predict

Only to hope for strength, to tread on

Where my heart deems fit to fly towards

I express as such

I express for such

For all else you can seek otherwise

The roof rumbled

As if to be ripped apart

While I sat, watching the trees sway mad, being uprooted

Smashed through my french windows

I sat still

Knowing it would pass through

As it grew calm

I stepped out

All around me was a wall of fury

Nature's

Mixing everything with the wind

In the eye, as I stood

I felt at home

The storm agreed, so I walked along as It went along

Paving its way

In destruction

Yet, as I held my beer bottle

It didn't bother me

Till it just faded to a gust

And subsided

I looked back

A few miles from home

I smiled

I had walked through a storm

And even it let me be.

crossing the Gobi

In the jittery rays

Of the passing light

Shadows 

Most of the unforgiving landscape

Yet now are so serene 

It is but a paradox

Waterless and parched

Would I love on to see another dawn?

Or does it mean the setting would be my last

Either ways

The lights are pretty

So is the sky

Painting my face in overlaps

Of distant dried cactus and dunes

In a pleasant wake

Of today's ending

Crossing along the Gobi.

What I seek

What more should I bring,
Offer you or showcase
In this lifetime, I seek no validitation
Nor do I need yours.
The drama and saga
Epic moments, so called
Are nothing but subtle subterfuge
Of a fleeting life.
Anxious as one may see
Anxiety is just a passé
And all that is left is Avarice
In a long wait of endings.

Yet your pestilence is forever present
I do not resent, nor disdain
For you have nothing but dreams
Of a false grandeur called life
That which you call life.
If ignored largely, in your wake
For you seek others to validate you
I seek none, I seek no one
And when the end is near
I shall not be entangled or strained.
For I can be at ease
Pass into oblivion, as lived , so dead.

Rite of passage

"I am hungry and tired,
I have spent years and years
Battered and in transit
There seems to be no end to my journey"
Said dad to the gatekeeper
Why should I be in such a state
Where I have no body left to feel pain
Why cannot I be like the other souls
Pass through from this purgatory
He repeated.

You shall be here
For you have not been forgiven
And as such you have been given no food
The ones who are let go
Without forgiveness , forever roam here
Until they are forgiven
And prayed for, by those that let you go
Said the Yamadoot

He waited and waited
For 28 years
Until his offspring could forgive
And as such at the ghat of Bharatapuzha
They assembled for his final rite of passage
Prayers and offerings,
Of sesame and rice, Oil and curd
Sandalwood , tulasi and flowers
Offered him his release, seeking his blessings
Yet the crows wouldn't eat

All that remained were dips in the river
And his son
Letting go of his bitterness and grudge
Thanked him for his existence
And let him go , for it was his epiphany
For though the son a preacher of forgiveness
Had finally learnt to forgive truly
The crows swept in
The pooja now complete
He had let his father finally pass on

May his soul finally find peace
And in so, may he be reborn
And this time maybe he may shine
Like stars in the sky
Bright and beautiful.

Friends of misfit

Glass, glass, my dear glass
What do you see
Is it the moron or the morose
When you feed me an elixir to numb
Do you think of yourself as high and mighty
In such numbness
I see you for your real truth
Nothing but an evil scheming demon
Binding me to enslavement
The very most seek to escape
To me you are the worst
Yet us demons need to meet often
For the others won't let either of us be
They see no meaning of us
Not when kind
Neither when nice
To them we are just demons
And we shall always be so
Neither of us want to hurt someday
But even those days we are outcasts
Tell me my dear dear glass
Is that why you too meet me?
Since we are like we are two peas
In a pod of a beanstalk
Called the world.

Reach

Another day has gone by
And it is as empty as the previous
Where has the thirst of wanting to wake
Of wanting to make or break
Of wanting to breathe gone?

Is it in a lampooned dream
Of wanting to soar the seas
Or fly across the face of the earth
Watching the blue and green splash
As they erode rocks
Make continents move?

Has the mind that was intrepid
Given way to be distilled into nothingness
Or has the purpose of the said main
Been burnt to cinders in the fire
Of your heart that glows
with hatred for me
Or the beautiful indifference you reek
for me
For my soul and my very presence

If so then we are at peace
For then we have reached,
I sought this
And you wanted to do so to one soul
It is done, done without remorse
Just as I raised you to be
Armed you with the very shiny glass
That now are through my soul
Breathe, you are finally free
We both have found what we wanted.
Stay blessed, stay beautiful.

The Lighthouse

It has been a beautiful sea
the ships has sailed past safe
I find no more light within
To shine through the amber glass
No oil in the lamps remain
That has kept the ships in cautious sight
As the navigators passed on by
Blessing me with kisses of gratitude
Post the years on this rocky shelf
Lashed upon at times by the mighty sea
Angry due to the stormy winds
Yet she would often bring me
Fleets of dolphins
Flocks of seagulls
Often to hide me in her ocean mist
Yet she would let my light shine through
As I sign off my duties now
This light house takes a bow
Like all unions, this too must pass
I shall live in the memories of whence .

Bleach and peroxide

She wants her hair blonde
She screams
The whites don't deem to justify her youth
Though she is midlife
Maybe it is her crisis
She asks her companion
If her age shows
And he just laughs it off
As she douses her hair in peroxide
Now the age is no longer visible
She thinks
As she smiles at the mirror
Her face seems a bit dark
She coats it with bleach
Washing it off she smiles
She is a few shades brighter
Not the demon of her insecurity
But her eyes at the very least say so
As she finally ages
Passing into her 50s
She sees her self
Always trying to avoid her real self
As her daughter calls her beautiful
Today without her make up and fakery
She see her true face
Accepting she exhales
Whispers loving words to her little girl
And ponders in the truth
if the other women will ever learn
Beyond loving the self what else is?
Nothing but bleach and peroxide.

Views and vistas

"Be my undoing"
She screamed, raising her fruit of the womb
As she held it high,
She cursed her choice
To have let this come
As eyebrows raised
Of instagram mothers
And arm chair activists
Shallow, always begging for attention
They cursed her words
They hardly knew her
Yet they took it upon themselves
To be judge and jury
Unlike her, they don't know hunger
Unlike her, they have never spent a night
Drenched, in misery, without a roof
As she leaned over the cliff
Holding the new born
She let herself to the mercy of the rocks
The rocks now stained red
Bear witness to her own reasons
The others are busy influencing
Living their life
In shallow existence.

What is this mind I possess
A catacomb of weirdness
In boredom I care for the world
In adversity I thrive
A can of paint
A can do mind
Yet only doing so when boredom strikes
Adversity just makes me laugh and feel joy
A sadist? Maybe
But definitely not so in my POV
I wouldn't care
If the world burnt
Unless I was bored
Hence wanted to try caring .

The bomb

Surrounded by shreds
And mixed in darkness, drowned in black powder
I am entombed
At the gentle tug,
I await to speak
Reach and touch everyone
Merge with them as they encase me
In their flesh and blood
I do not wish to do so
Yet I am to, at a moments notice
When I am called for
And against my will
I shall
My raging fire shall light up around me
And I shall wail loud
Deafening those that are around
Some shall crawl away from me
Others shall be with me
As I cease to exist
Would they wave to me on that final journey as we all walk along

The design

Where do I build my server sire
Asked the technician to the architect.
The architect replied sheepishly, where would you
Where does the instruction say
The technician pondered a bit
Hesitantly replied, this one is not listed anywhere
The architect was calm and gently smiled
Bring forth your demand, I shall guide
As he sat in his high chair, king like.
This has no meaning, there is no sense
Who qualified this, this is not what I had prescribed
The architect stomping his foot in rage exclaimed.
Who was the one that mutilated my design
Who dared massacre it.
The sales person gently winked
It was I, for I see no need for your generous provisions
I see that we should size it down
At this the architect and technician stared
Into the cold dark eyes of the head of sales
As a smile emerged from the architect and technician
The managers felt an oncoming rage
The room was torn asunder, the walls cracked
The chair were scattered and tables upturned
The architect and technician walked out
In bloody foot steps
As the corpses of the sales painted the floor red

Morbid

Her lips moved
Its past midnight
In the moonlight her face looks pretty
Her lips moved
How could it?
She has been still for 3 days
Her face is still, her eyes closed
Aah!, maggots
Go away, go away
She is not your feast
She is my love

Here I am
In a construct
Of words and here say
Or a caricature
Either of it irrelevant
Yet a stranger
Maybe she thinks
It could be a whirlwind of annoyance
Or otherwise
Yet she is caught up
In her stream of thoughts
Thoughts that are her own to think
That are her to ponder on
I just ramble incessantly
Like a calf grazing
Amongst the fresh grass
Inconsequential
Irrelevant

If adrift

If I drift into you
Let me not pull you
Away, or towards
For you are where you are
I am, where I need to be
I could be a raging fire
Or an icy wind
But I am where I have been pulled at
Maybe you think you know
Maybe you won't
I shall be
Where I am
Irrelevant, insignificant
But it is a journey
I will always turn and smile
Even if my sould wishes to stay, I couldn't
For the universe is but a tide
That sweeps me away
To it's bidding
But as long as I am here
I shall bask
In your glow and be mystified
In her gentle glow
And words that sing
She may not hear them so
She doesn't need to
For all of it is just time

Journey to the stars

I could be flung
off the face of the earth
and never reach the ground
only to drift
into the dark space
I shall have no remorse
for I have not felt the need
and when I have,
it never did matter
not to anyone
not to me
and I see the sky is so full of stars*
and I like drift wood
is floating that sea

Divine intervention
Who needs much
When the deities
Annapurna and Nidra
Bestow their gentle touch
Into my soul
What more do I seek
Not love
Not consequence
Not bonds
Not belonging
I seek nothing , for sans these two
There is nothing
One feeds my stomach
The other my tired mind
And all I seek is to reach the end
Of a cycle that began in my cradle
Only to end at my grave
And then Nidra will absorb me into her
A permanence
Grand
Unfathomable beauty

Me

Often than not, one sees verses
Parading as poetry, yet speak of a life
As such I often sing about my own
For I need not be sung for

These 39 years that I have seen the sun rise,
Set, blare, blaze, soothe and warm
I have often wondered what life is about
And once you touch the nearing 40s
Life wakes you up
For journeys forlorn

Yet I shall travel, sit beside the window
Let the scenery, scary or serene
Burn into my eyes and soul
And at journey's end , dust my clothes
Begin anew

For I am of relentless restlessness
Always wanting to be idle or toiling
Mediocrity is just an impasse
Mediocre is not my storm

The stars, brush strokes, engines and science
Et all makes my life engaged
The politics, the silly drama and slapstick humor
Enrages

I may live each day, live a few hundred more
Only to end in a streak of fluff
Like a shooting star
I am not afraid of the end, I am ready

So before I fade into such, I yearn
I seek
   To see the ends of the earth,
    The edge of the universe
I seek to capture the moon light reflecting
As I capture people and dances
Fruits and droplets of dew
And scribble my thoughts into verse or tweets

Wake me
Not today, or tomorrow
Now or later
For you are the one that seems to need sleep
Wake me not for your platitudes
Of insomnia and melancholy
I rather be at rest
Like an object at rest
Remaining so
Aah , Newton's law of inertia
As the world can go and fuck itself over
I cannot be expected to play along
Here in my sleep
I am with me
My peace, your absence
Sans your existence
Away from your questions and beliefs
I exist, only if you let me be
Else,
I will awaken
Tred across the mountains
Walk over the valleys
Beyond the last civilization
And curl back to sleep
For me, I am
Not for anyone else .

The mind feels like it caved in
For I can sense things awry
Somewhere your skin grazed against not mine
And it just feels like a choke
In being alloyed with your existance
I will feel these each instance
And it will only displace my coherence
Bring me into an unsettling
You may not feel the same
If I had caressed another
Let alone kissed her gentle lips
And all that is just a permeance
As I live along
In the state of a cynic
Expecting nothing , and resonating so
For we are each separate
Yet bound, in a fabric of time and space
In a quantum entanglement of sorts.