Retrieve

This is not an expression
For I seek no acceptance of said such
For I write to see what I feel
Like a mathematician on a quest
Like a child that looks at the dying carcass 
Of a goldfish that fell out of the bowl
I see no joy or sadness there
But a zest for understanding the inner self
Could be egocentric, yet in my eccentricity
I am always digging
Over and over
Only to conclude
What I have always seen and realized
Sometimes I write to persuade my self
Most times
I write to exhume.