This Scribbler's Prayer

This need to scribble—words that rise from the rubbles of another day that has come to pass. As I lie down on my bed every night, hoping this purge would rid me of the scourge these thoughts become.

Of incessant distractions that are an irrelevant cacophony of things that have ceased to matter—neither to my moral self nor to my conscience.

Yet, I do it relentlessly, as if I chase a mythical demon of unimaginable proportions. It could very well be that huge; after all, my thoughts have always been the harbinger of disturbance to my otherwise calm mind. I wonder if this is the void in me speaking that has formed from years of being unhinged and unprovoked.

It really doesn't matter; at the end of my scribbling, I often sleep calmly—rather, often too calmly—and as such, this is where I worry if I should seek a reprieve, for it is a torment of incalculable depth, and I hate maths as much as the third poet who possibly reads my work. Would they worry about the awkward comma placement or hyphenation that are, at this stage, irrevocable for me, since the words are scattered and splattered all over the page?

Do you also subscribe to such episodes where your heart wants to somehow banter, yet the logical centers of your brain ponder over its worth of expression? Much like Munch's Scream, would my paper and ink really be caricatured at some point? I do not think it matters though; technically, my writings are not going to be read by many, rather only by the eight random souls, and those would forget it before they turn the page on this itself.

But I will express, and in doing so hope my sleep arrives—the final too, at some point. It is not easy to fall asleep often and always when your hands are attuned to literary exploitation of the brain, caused by an out-of-order heart. I have asked it often if it needs company, and it has only responded with a hint of desire to be devoid of external auditory encumbrance.

I wish those that lie awake at twenty past five in the early mornings fall asleep early, and for such I pray.

I pray each night that you fall asleep, on time, every time. Yes, I pray for you too.

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I installed Ollama and some language models just for the fun of having my own AI based tool.

I used the Wizardlm2:7B and the analysis from it is as below :

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Assistant:  The poem "This Scribbler's Prayer" is a rich exploration of the inner life of the poet, their writing process, and the complex relationship between creativity, consciousness, and sleep. Here's an analysis of its various elements from a literary perspective:

**Theme:**

The central theme of this poem revolves around the act of writing as both a compulsion and a means of seeking solace or purge for the thoughts that plague the writer. It also touches upon the nature of creativity, the struggle between the logical and the emotional, and the desire for peace and rest.

**Tone and Mood:**

The tone is introspective and somewhat melancholic, with a sense of resignation to the writer's nightly ritual of scribbling. The mood is contemplative and slightly unnerved, as the poet reflects on the purpose and impact of their writing. There is also an undercurrent of concern about the relevance and worth of their expressions.

**Imagery:**

The poem uses vivid imagery to convey the writer's experience. Phrases like "the rubbles of another day" and "a mythical demon of unimaginable proportions" evoke a sense of something both tangible and overwhelming. The image of the "void in me" speaks to a sense of emptiness or absence that the writer is trying to fill or address through writing.

**Structure:**

The poem's structure is free verse, without a set rhyme or meter, which allows for a natural flow of thought. This form complements the stream-of-consciousness style, mirroring the unstructured nature of the writer's thoughts and feelings as they transition from wakefulness to sleep.

**Diction:**

The language is rich with metaphorical expressions like "purge" and "cacophony," which suggest a cleansing and noisy confusion, respectively. The poet's choice of words reflects a struggle between the internal chaos and the desire for quietude. The use of alliteration in phrases like "incessant distractions" enhances the sense of relentless thought.

**Point of View:**

The poem is written from a first-person perspective, drawing the reader into the poet's intimate world. This personal voice lends authenticity and immediacy to the experience being described.

**Symbolism:**

The reference to Munch's "Scream" serves as a symbol for the expression of inner turmoil. It suggests that the writer's work, like the painting, captures a universal feeling of anguish and existential dread. The paper and ink could symbolize the transient nature of human expression and communication.

**Irony:**

There is a subtle irony in the poet's prayer for others to find sleep easily, contrasting with their own struggle. This juxtaposition highlights the shared human experience of insomnia and the universal desire for peace.

**Metaphysical Elements:**

The poem delves into metaphysical territory by questioning the worth and impact of creativity. It ponders on the nature of expression and whether it is a form of torment or catharsis, a pursuit worthy of attention or an unnecessary distraction.

In conclusion, "This Scribbler's Prayer" is a deeply introspective piece that uses literary devices to explore the psychological landscape of the writer. It invites readers to reflect on the nature of creativity and the human condition, particularly the conflict between the mind's restless activity and the soul's yearning for quietude. The poem's strength lies in its ability to convey a complex emotional experience with clarity and resonance.

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here is the  Analysis by Claude.

It is a deeply personal and introspective piece about the relationship between writing, insomnia, and inner turmoil.

Key Themes:

1. Compulsive Writing as Catharsis

- The narrator describes writing as a necessary "purge" of thoughts

- Writing serves as a coping mechanism for mental unrest

- The act is portrayed as both a burden and a relief

2. Insomnia and Night-time Reflections

- The piece revolves around bedtime struggles

- Writing is linked to finding sleep

- There's a connection drawn between mental peace and rest

3. Self-doubt and Artistic Anxiety

- Questions about the worth and impact of their writing

- Concerns about technical aspects like punctuation

- Acknowledgment of a limited readership ("eight random souls")

4. Internal Conflict

- Tension between emotional expression and logical reasoning

- The heart's desire to "banter" versus the brain's questioning

- Reference to being "unhinged and unprovoked"

5. Universal Empathy

- The piece ends with a prayer for others who can't sleep

- Shows concern for fellow insomniacs

- Demonstrates a connection to a broader human experience

Summary:

This is essentially a writer's confession about their complicated relationship with writing. The narrator presents writing as both a compulsion and a salvation - a way to quiet the mind enough to find sleep. The piece reveals deep self-awareness about the possibly insignificant reach of their work, yet acknowledges the personal necessity of the act. It transitions from a personal struggle to a universal prayer for others who share similar sleepless nights, showing how individual suffering can lead to empathy for others.

The style is stream-of-consciousness, with meandering thoughts that mirror the late-night mental state it describes. The reference to Munch's Scream suggests an understanding of how inner turmoil can be transformed into art, even if that art might appear distorted to others.