Things that go Boom

I put my left foot forward

The click brought back memories

I had to pause, stand there motionless

I wondered, if I could swap my left with the right, 

You know these vague thoughts

I realised I am Right handed, so I will have what's left

But that would leave a bad taste

Not that medicines taste better either

Someone out there hoped I would come this way

If nothing, I must honour their thought too

Besides, I could put both my feet together and crouch

At best see myself scatter into the wind a bit

I hear you snarky "Deathwish" remarks

We are soldiers, we have a deathwish regardless

Don't we?

We were dead the moment our lead plunged and reddened

So why is this any different 

It is a score, and someone must keep

Statistics, reporting, et al

Mine may end here, but I am better off

Others land in such, all through life

Crippled, subdued, subjugated, obligated

Unlike them; I have none, I would have been free 

Sooner or later

For only the dead have seen the end

Fuck off Charon!

In war, there is only one side.

Death, apparently!

So, I won't choose a swift death.

Between the mind and the heart, I choose neither.

I always follow time.

And so here is my note, should I be found

silent, cold, or even scattered -

I am of no consequence. I wasn't.

For we are just born into war.

But if I must choose, let it be in extreme pain.

Let me feel my life flow through and out.

Maybe then, just then, I would have a desire.

Or maybe I will just laugh at it ebb too.

For this war has worn me. I have worn it for too long.

And I shall hand over my soul, forlorn now,

And fish at the banks of Styx,

Never wanting to cross.

Dropping her off

The steel bowl was at its 18th bounce

and she could feel her self fade

At the 17th it was for her to remember if they would even care

At the 16th it was for her nail, just got those done yesterday, too bad

At the 15th she saw him, he smiled and winked at her, then was sad

At the 14th she felt his hand loosen its grip on hers

At the 13th she saw the raven pass, turn around and move, as if waving

At the 12th she remembered he had asked her to sew the third button of his purple shirt 

At the 11th he had screamed as if it hurt, for the first time , he wasn't superhuman?

At the 10th she remembered she was always right, but then he was more so

At the 9th she had called out his name, and he heard, but kept rolling her away

At the 8th she heard the grumble of square diamond like glass being powdered

At the 7th she saw him scared,  not for himself, but scared but determined 

At the 6th she heard him say a muffled I love you, like his chest felt heavy

At the 5th she knew he was leaving, she tried to hold him back, but then

At the 4th He called out her name, he wanted to one last time

At the 3rd she worried if this was going to be a mistake she'd carry

At the 2nd she had felt the grass was damp from the morning dew

At the 1st she realised he was right to not look at her when he drove and she fought.